Does 12 y/o need OT or can I help her at home?

by Sue
(WA State, USA)

She is doing excellent academically and she is 'friendly' at school. All of her teachers say what a pleasure she is. She plays the sax and likes to draw. However, she is beginning to have social issues due to extreme shyness and overreaction/defensiveness to the actions of her peers. She is becoming increasingly solitary and bday/sleepover invites have vanished.

Grooming and personal hygiene are becoming more of a pressing issue as her friends become more body aware. I fear my constant reminders about brushing hair, straightening clothing, pulling up pants, etc are now bordering on nagging. she may start tuning me right out.

She has overcome her intense panic due to any loud noises (fireworks, fire alarms, etc) and many of her fine motor issues. Team sports continue to be a challenge. No issues with food or light.

Her pediatrician (who I just voiced concerns to) shrugged off OT and is recommending psychologist instead. HELP!

I would like to help her learn tools to decompress from tantrums or even prevent altogether. I would also like to help her become more confident and able to develop meaningful connections with her peers. HELP!! Thank you!