Frustration and Poor Self Esteem

I am a 21 year old female. I get goosebumps and shivers if I have to touch paper or other dry surfaces or hear other people rubbing them together (like pages rustling. Forget newspapers, I won't touch them.). Having dry skin, itchy clothes, or the wrong fabric makes me so distracted I am pretty much worthless until I can get out of the situation.

Sounds are even worse. I've failed tests that I was well prepared for because the student next to me had a cold or there was nearby construction. The sounds of people eating either make me want to cry or fills me with intense rage. On bad days being anywhere but a quiet room leaves me panicky and overwhelmed. That's now at age 21.

As a kid my parents always knew something was off. I wouldn't wear jeans until I was about 11 and had a short boy cut because I refused to let my mom brush it. I repeated half day kindergarten because I couldn't manage a whole day of school because I needed a long nap everyday to be able to function after a half day of school. I was diagnosed with ADHD in middle school after I started having panic attacks in the morning when confronted with having to go to school. ADHD never really seemed quite right but I was really relieved to have someone tell me that I wasn't just crazy or stupid but there was a reason for my struggles. I wasn't just weak willed and feeble minded.

Now that I've learned about SPD I think I want to look into therapies and treatments. I've come a long way and the bad days are getting fewer but I would love to find a way to be able to actually enjoy eating dinner with my family or read a newspaper.

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