Grandparent looking to learn

by Jeanne

I am an educator with a lot of special ed experience but had not come across SPD until my grandson was recently identified. Our own children were adopted and our oldest was hospitalized with bipolar issues, but somehow this was harder. Our little guy has started trying to control his environment/control his emotions (I guess) but not perhaps in the best way--he is now telling us that he is afraid to go home because daddy hits him. We only had a little info about SPD and, because of the fear in his voice, asked his folks what was going on. Did not go well as you can imagine.

As I continue to read and study about the issues, I now begin to see other ways I could have spoken to the little guy as well as my daughter. Concerned about irreparable harm to relationship with my daughter. Just need to hope for the best. This is tough on a relationship and we wanted to give them some respite time away to be together as a couple (and some time for us to enjoy our little guy). Any advice?

Comments for Grandparent looking to learn

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Jul 11, 2010
help for child
by: Anonymous

is very common misunderstanding towards these children with problems, because their behavior is associated with poor education. but a medical diagnosis should clarify this and help to understand those who refuse to understand. Do not give up.

Jul 10, 2010
Grandma's puzzel!
by: Anonymous

Thanks for the excellent articles on SPD disorder. My grandson 6 was recently diagnosed with this disorder!

After reading the various articles about it, I understand better what is happening.

When he was about 3 he started to just kick us or slap us from behind without apparent reason. Hurting his bigger brother on purpose seemed to give him joy! It upset me to see this! I very carefully told my son to watch out for this behavior!

They only discovered in his first school year about his problem, his teacher did not
understand it at all.

Because of the long holiday I suggested a sleepover which they accepted with great excitement. I had planned numerous outings
but it turned out too be much to handle for the 6 year old. He was never happy with anything and had a screaming tantrum for 30 minutes that night and just wanted to go home. As it was an hours drive, he had to stay till the morning. We took them out to the Wimpy for breakfast as requested and then to a museum with lots of planes which they seemed to enjoy. When home he phoned his Mum to come and fetch him straight away. As soon as he saw her, he was all sunshine again. Gone was the grumpy disagreeable child.

I love my grandchildren dearly and was devastated by his reaction to us. How about an article to help us as grandparents!

Jan 04, 2010
Don't be broken hearted.
by: Anonymous

I am a nurse and I have sensory issues, my daughter has them as well as both having Aspergers.

You said "daddy hits me" have to be more clear about that. It is possible that the child is getting hit or he perceive the touch as hitting? First would be close to abuse...but I am not so fast to point fingers towards that.
Sensory issues are a thing that I lived with for decades and only now I got an understanding what they are. So to treat or help a little child takes a lot of patience. Just play his games (given that your daughter would allow you to be with him). There is no way to "teach" new pathways through the brain, all you can do is just accept what is going with him and get into his worlds and try to make it easier.

I pray and hope that the child is not getting physically hit, that the family relationships are not strained, check into the husband, accept the child and know that it will take decades for the child to figure out the cause of how he's feeling and accept it himself and make his own accommodations. I hope your daughter accepts your help, don't be intrusive, don't try to fix or tell her what to do, be gentle, don't lose sleep over something you can not change yourself, just be supportive, it sure feels good to have a village to raise a child.

"daddy hits me"...check into that, ask your daughter if she is getting any kind of abuse and remember...abused women don't tell ANYONE (my best friend just figure out why I left my husband 10 years ago, I didn't realize that I was hiding that so deep that I didn't even tell her).

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Coping With Emotions in SPD.