Help! Does my 8 year old have spd?...

by vanessa
(southern england)

My 8 year old daughter and I have battled with clothing for as long as I can remember. I put it down to her being 'awkward' and 'hard work' until two days ago it was suggested to me that she may be tactile defensive. I had never before heard of this, and when I came across this website I couldn't believe how everything I read fell into place.

My daughter hates pants and any other item of clothing that is the tiniest bit rough, tight or restricting in any way, to the point where it makes her near on hysterical. When I think how many times this has had us both in tears!! Her school uniform can cause the same problems, she has to wear the same old tatty pair of trousers, and I worry all the time that the teachers wonder if I cant afford a new pair!

She is also very behind at school and I have just been told she has 'learning difficulties' which is such a wide field. Does anyone know if this could be part of her struggle at school? Having read a lot of your letters it makes me wonder whether her day is eaten up by the way she feels, how uncomfortable her clothes are, instead of on her work.

I would appreciate any feedback, ideas, help. Sorry to rant on but my relief in finding out my daughter is not alone or just being difficult is huge!!!

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Mar 14, 2016
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no more SPD
by: Anonymous

My daughter was very similar to this. Sometimes we would avoid going anywhere because getting her dressed was torture for the whole house. We learned to turn socks inside out, but she also wants them tight. She wants her pony tail pulled so tight that I have to fix it 3 or 4 times. She had me to a point where I was crying everyday because I just didn't know how to help her. I know this is a sight for SPD but do any of you guys ever question why? Why do so many kids have this? My daughter also has celiac disease and once we discovered that and discovered that she has a few deficiencies our lives changed. One in particular Magnesium. Once we cut out gluten and upped her magnesium she was a different child no longer has sensory issues

Feb 16, 2016
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Same
by: Anonymous

Tell her to wear a skirt find them at target.

Aug 25, 2015
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My 6 year old daughter has a serious brain problem and I am so consernig about
by: Anonymous

Hi everyone, I am here to say that my 6 years old daughter has serious brain disorder problem: she cannot read, understand things well, she's very nervous . I am really concerning for her feature. Please can someon help? God bless you all

Aug 10, 2015
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Sensory Processing Disorder
by: Anonymous

Hi,
I have an 8 year old daughter who also has SPD, and to cut along story short I have very similar problems as everyone else, we have been to an OT therapist for years and we have a big issue with clothing.

We buy knickers from Best n less they are stretchy with no tags, brand is Mango or All For Me, sizes start form 8-10 up i've brought them for her when she was 7 will not look at any other knickers (amazing).

The socks are brought from itmakessense.com
These 2 items have been life changing and a lot more relaxed in the mornings getting ready for school and less tears.
We buy Kmart leggings cheap and soft and any top that is soft, hope this helps for anyone having trouble with clothing.

As for school work she does have trouble focusing and concentration the school is very understanding and are helpful in anyway possible. At home we have a great routine which helps and stick to bedtime at the same time every night.

We have also been in contact with www.links2learning.com.au and spoke to Tracey she has being amazing and we are on a program every night and morning and are seeing results since late February, she seems more happy and confident at school definitely worth having a look at, helps all children/adults from SPD to Autism ADHD.

I have so much more to talk about and can go on and on, but these are a few things that have helped us since our diagnosis since she was 2.5 years old and she has improved so much, all our children are very special and if just one person gets a little bit of help from this I would be very happy.

Hope this helps.

Aug 06, 2015
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problems wearing fabrics
by: Anonymous

Isobella is 7 now and I realised that something wasn't right about 18months ago. She has exactly the same problem with pants jeans, leggings, long sleeve tops, t-shirts etc. The pants that I find help are the m&s seemless boxer style ones, try buying in a slightly bigger size or stretching them a bit. Isobella hasn't been diagnosed as having learning difficulties but has received extra help in some subjects. She is a very sensitive child in every aspect, emotionally too. I do find that her tiredness levels have an impact so I try n make sure she has plenty of sleep. I have noticed that she has started trying to challenge herself with trying to wear different things and sometimes she manages it. It is so difficult to find the patience to deal with this when u have to be places on time etc.

Speak to your child's school and make them aware. Always try and be understanding with your child and empathise with her, its a real thing to them and they need to know u will understand as stress makes it worse. Some call this condition a part of sensory processing difficulties and it is somewhere very low on the autistic spectrum. There is a brushing technique that helps some kids, but there is no funding on the nhs for this. It involves brushing the skin with a soft bristle brush as much as possible during a 2 week period. Think its meant to desensitize the skin. Try and compromise but keep her challenging herself. It is a very individual thing. Best of luck.

I'm so hoping they grow out of this and there some indications that they will. Oh also sometimes distraction methods help. Try playing their favourite pop music on loud when they're trying to dress or singing a funny song together. Let me know how it goes. Good luck. X

Aug 01, 2015
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8 yr old girl " is it depression"?
by: Anonymous

I have 8 yr old girl, multiple issues,, no desire to do anything unless she wants to, won't express how things make her feel, will just look at me an say " I don't KNOW", any project she does will not read instrutions first, an when makes mistakes, becomes emotionless, when asked repeatedly to do things responded in our burst of crying an won't say why,, help, I have tried many suggestions an solution s,, I'm lost

Jul 10, 2015
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You are not alone
by: Anonymous

Hey all. i have ea 10 year old son that has suffered from something since he was in kindergarten. At first we thought he was just being a stinker but then we realized it was much more. He only has significant trouble at school. The initial eval was SPD. He went to a counselor and to OT. That didn't change things so we went to a psych eval which he passed fine because again, he only does this at school. So then more problems over the school years and finally this school year a the end, he gave a specific threat on how he was going to kill himself. So we had genetic testing that indicated high anxiety. which is what we all thought but since he only displays it in school we couldn't get diagnosed. So with the suicide threat at school documented, we got him on a vitamin at first for a folic acid deficiency then now he is on a mood stabilizer. he really could use zoloft but the genetic testing showed he does not have the enzymes that metabolize that so he can't go on SSRI's. He has only been on the mood stabilizer a week and its a ramp up thing so I have no idea if its going to work.

At this point though, I know he can't go back to school unless it does because we are doing work over the summer to try to help and he is a wreck every time. We are taking him to brain highways and also an eye tracking specialist. If anyone has other suggestions let me know. We have modified his diet best we can but his sensory issues keep him from eating a lot of stuff, even bad stuff, so we can't do much more there. he was in counseling for a year that really helped him move away from anger when he was upset but it went over to wanting to hurt himself. He is going to start Cognitive Behavioral Therapy soon. Poor guy. This is soooo hard. All of you are not alone. Something is just happening to our children! Prayer, prayer and more prayer is all I have left!

Apr 22, 2015
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Update
by: Desiree

Hello friends,
I just wanted to give an update. My now 9 yr old daughter is doing very well on anti anxiety medicine, it's s form of Zoloft, or another brand I guess... She striuggles with the clothing thing (tactile defense) for about 2 years. The occupational therapist we saw did help, but my daughter regressed over Christmas break and thats why we resorted to the meds. She is like a new person now!!

I wanted to mention a few things I've learned about these type of issues.. They can be genetic.. And yes if you have Any autism spectrum type issues in your family this falls under that umbrella... My hormone dr.. I see told me about this gene called MTFHR and many people are getting genetic tests done to see if they have a "mutated MTFHR" and it appears to be quite common and and indicator is autism and autism spectrum disorders.. Like what we are discussing!! Something to consider and read up on... If you have it they recommend methylated vitamins... .
Also, if the meds hadn't of worked out so well we were looking into "brain balance" for our daughter, they test the brain and usually one side is working better then the other, and they can identify and explain why your kid would be having such issues. And then work in balancing it . The facility by me here in UT is pretty expensive, but I've heard of amazing results...

Also my chiropractor does brain balancing along with cold laser therapy his visits are far cheaper then the brain balance facility..
Anyhow things to consider and I will be looking further into these options, as we are hoping to wean our daughter off the meds in a year or so.
Of course I'm not expert this is just what I've come Across in the last year or so of researching and looking for help and answers.
Best of luck

Apr 22, 2015
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I need help or somewhere to turn
by: lila

My son is 8 years old we no he has adhd and is on meds for that but for a almost 3 years he has complained about his clothes hurting him and feeling like a bunch of little needles stabbing him I have been to doctors and they can't figure out what is wrong he will not do his homework that's a big fight I just no no in the last month it has gotten really bad to get him dressed and doing his homework I'm at a loss and just want to help him any advice would help thank u

Mar 16, 2015
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Thought it was just me
by: alison

Hi I'm 55 now and have suffered with this since I was a kid my mum and I would have screaming fits she believed I was defying her I couldn't make Her understand the itchiness that tights and tartan and anything itchy made me feel even now I have problems but have learnt how to deal with it. Changing off seasons do not help summer best for me least on the better! Please persevere with your little ones, my mum despaired of me way I was mum believed I was rebelling against her!, wish I could of worn anything , I'm like it with my hair , sheets on bed, even glasses have problems with ! It' s taken me along time to accept this is the way I am I'ts good to know its not just me as can make you feel an outsider! Was shocked to read there's a name for it and others are going through it too all I can say is too validate what your children say very important ! I've struggled over years with the fashion not being able to wear certain things because of the fabric ! Find bio oil very helpful and certain creams can help! I realise now we're all unique and have to learn to live with our differences best way we can ! God bless xxxx

Feb 25, 2015
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my 6 year olddaughter diagnosed with tactile defensiveness
by: Anonymous

As i write this now, i am an emotional crying wreck. Isobella has been struggling with clothes and the feel of the fabrics for as long as i can remember now. Struggling to get any help or support. We are paying for a therapist to try the brushing technique, but so far not helping.

Today i have failed to get her to school which isnt the first time, her meltdowns are so bad that she physically exhausts herself and needs to sleep. I have noticed a connection with tiredness and how well she manages on a daily basis so i make sure she is well rested. Anyway short of physically forcing her school shirt on ( of which i have tried many types), i dont know how to deal with it. She is such a shy, quiet child and the youngest of 3, her siblings are much older.

My grandfather has aspergers and i think my mother too has it slighlty and i do think this is somehow a contributing factor.

I feel so desperate and alone as no one seems to really know how to move forward. When i read all your mummy comments it broke my heart to think of you all going through the same but also made me feel less alone. I just wish there was some proper structure and help out there. I always worry that i am damaging her further with the way we manage it. Sorry to waffle on. Xx

Feb 16, 2015
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How do we get our 9 year old granddaughter to wear pants .
by: Anonymous

My 9 year old granddaughter hates clothes and has Spd. . We have seen many doctors, and OT. We have brushed her too. but we still go round and round and never come up with a soluntion . I don't want to use medication. She does very well at school. Wears one pair of pants that are boys pajama bottoms. I can't find another pair like them. She does not wear socks or underwear. She does not like bows on dresses . She is a picky eater and clumsy . Falls at school all the time. This all started when she was 2 years old. I force her pants pn her and then her grandfather carries her outside crying to the bus stop. It breaks my heart. By the time they get to the bus stop , she is happy and smiling. She comes home from school and keeps the pants on. But why don't doctors believe this is a real problem. And not made up?

Jan 17, 2015
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Brandi/ jennifer
by: Desiree /8yr old with hypersensitivity skin(spd) and anxiety

I posted just before you Brandi about my 8yr old and her "hypersensitivity" to clothes and hair, etc... So we are back in school, and the first week after our holiday break was pretty terrible.. We decided to go see the pediatrician and see about medication. We had tried therapy, which she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I wonder if her refusal to get clothes on acting out is more related to anxiety than tactile spd. ( we azlsindid OT) Anyhow our pediatrican did put her on a small dose of Zoloft. It's only been about 5 days, but I'm praying this is going to take the edge off for her!! Last night she had a huge melt down and it was pretty scary. I do often think if she was older she would probably try to hurt herself.. But who knows probably an 8 year old could ...

Jennifer thanks for the advice on them getting bored enough to finally get up and do something! I'm always hesitant to let her just stay in her room.. Worried that she will really never leave(which is what she says she wants, to never leave her room, etc). Brandi did u say that the meds u tried only made things worse?? And Jennifer when your daughter left the hospital did they have her take anti anxiety? And if so is that helping with keeping her on track? Thanks ladies

Jan 16, 2015
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For Brandi
by: Jennifer

Brandi - my heart breaks for you. I too have an 11 year old daughter and this is the point we were at this past summer. We ended up having to have her taken by ambulance and admitted to an adolescent mental health ward at the hospital. She was there for a full month. It was the hardest thing we have ever done. I cried more than I thought humanly possible. We only left her there because we felt that if we didn't that she would indeed die. We had to turn and walk away that first day while she screamed for us to not leave her and we could only do it because we felt that it was best in the long run.

We had accommodated her for years. We thought she had OCD and SPD and so we felt she couldn't help it. When it was too hard for her to dress to go to school we let her stay home and we gave her everything she wanted to try and make her happy. But nothing worked. What we learned through the psychiatrist and the CYW's that worked with her for the month was that she does not have SPD or OCD after all - she has General Anxiety disorder. Each person with this copes with life in different ways and has trouble with different things - for her it was dressing. We learned a whole new way of EXPECTING her to dress and leave the house, or face the consequences. So if she decides she can't dress and go to school - well fine - but the consequences are that she has to lie on her bed the entire day without anything at all - and I mean anything - no books, toys, electronics - she can only come out to eat and then go right back in. It actually doesn't take long for them to get bored enough with this that they are willing to try the tough job of dressing.

When they say they don't care if they ever see their friends again or go outside again that's really not true. This is not the life they want for themselves. They just actually need us to stand up and say NO. No accommodations - just expectations and consequences - consequences that we had been to scared to apply before because she felt she was too mentally fragile.

At first I was so mad at the doctors. How could they expect her to do the one thing she couldn't do? And they told her we couldn't come visit her if she didn't dress. It just about killed me. My heart was broken and she was all alone there and only 11. She would cry on the phone and say all she wanted to do was come home and I thought I would die. But they knew what they were doing after all and they gave us back our daughter. She still struggles with dressing, it takes her 60 min each day before school and there are lots of layers (but we have strict rules about certain things) - but she is coping. She faces the anxiety head on each day and works through it instead of getting back on the bed and knowing we will cater to her every need. She's moved forward and then had a step back every now and then.

But it's like being on a swing, you need the backward motion to propel you forward. The school had been accommodating her more and more before her breakdown of not dressing any more - they were scribing for her and doing all kinds of things because she would say, "I can't". In the hospital they tested her and she is on par in math and 5 grade levels ahead in language. So no more accommodations at school either. Gradually she is getting her life back.

So - I say all that to tell you that there IS hope, and that the path may be through dark valleys and lots of hard work and it may be different than everyone else on here is telling you. All you read on here is how to keep accommodating every single little clothing aversion. It's really tough - but you will get through this. Someday she will be able to wear all kinds of clothes and enjoy her life. Just keep trying to picture her like that and don't give in to the fear!

Jan 03, 2015
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11 year old anxiety
by: Brandi

It is so nice to see we are not alone. My daughter will not wear clothes because everything is "itchy". We've sought out so much help for years. We are now starting a program at the Mayo Clinic for OCD and Cognitive Behavior Therapy. The therapy is "exposure" to gradually increase the uncomfortableness with clothes. My daughter has declined quickly and also says she wants to die. She won't leave house and is just a shell do the adorable vibrant girl she used to be. We've been on so mNy anti anxiety drugs and I think things are worse than ever. She is refusing any therapy and says she'd be happy to stay home forever and never talk to any friends or go to school again. Heartbreaking for the entire family!

Jan 02, 2015
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8 year old with tactile hyper-sensativity cant get dressed
by: Anonymous

I have just read through most of these comments, and we are dealing with many of the same issues. MY daughter is 8, and getting dressed is such a struggle for her. We are currently over Christmas break, and the lack of routine, seems to have made things worse for her. We just finished the end of November with 4 months of OT, and it did seem to help. Before the OT came( it was summer) our 8 yr old couldn't get dressed, clothes were like poison to her skin. We would manage to get something on her, and hold her down, or drag her out of the house in it, and she would finally be ok ( after freaking out awhile) and end up wearing that outfit for days at a time, then it would start all over again, trying to get her into another outfit. She screamed and raged, pulled her hair (which also bothers her) would claw her face, and say she "wished she was dead" basically every day, probably 2-3 times a day. it was awful.... so OT did help, she showed us some exercises to do at home to relax her body and "reset" it. Our OT said to keep her active and moving and doing her back walk overs, and jumping on the tramp. So through our 4 months of OT (which cost a small fortune) she got used to alot of clothes, and started wearing underwear and socks again. She would initially only wear sweat pants, but we got her in leggings, and after awhile she would wear almost any leggings, rather than the small few that were nice and worn out.

Christmas break is almost over and she has regressed so much, basically spent many days in pajamas, and then the last 2-3 days, naked in a blanket or in her robe, and trying to put any clothes on her is a nightmare again and seems impossible!! I don't know how she is going to get it together for school in 3 days. She too, like many other posts, can keep it together at school. I have told her teacher and talk regularly with her, but she doesn't see any of this behavior. SO i guess that's good, but everyday she comes home from school like a ticking time bomb, since she has held it in all day.

Breaks my heart, even when she is doing good, everyday is a struggle, she is highly irritable, and depressed. I dont know if medication would help or not?? Whats different with her story, is that all this came on about 2 years ago. She showed little to no signs for the first 6 years of her life. Then she slowly became more and more picky, but the summer going into 3rd grade, it was full blown, and she couldn't get dressed any more. Our OT said putting on clothes, and thinking about getting dressed was causing a PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress disorder) reaction inside her body. Which makes sense, because it seems when we try to dress and she is trying to rip the clothing off, that she is fighting for her life!!
We have 3 other kids and it definitely takes a toll on the whole family.

Dec 21, 2014
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son at bed time
by: Anonymous

i am now 46 and i have been since i can remember. in the day my clothes, hair, and underware must all be a certain way. but when i lay down at night, i have it down to a routine now that isn't as bad as when i was young. i was happy when i told my doctor about all this and he acted nornal and told me a name for it. i think he might have said tactile defensive. i truly thought i was the only one until i was about 35 years old!!!! bear with your son because i cannot describe how bad it can feel and it can give me panic attacks. he is not being hard to deal with, but some things are probably making him miserable if he can't get everything just right!! love that sweet boy bless his heart, and yours!!just thought i would share, i wish i could have known when i was young. i will keep him in my prayers. love, vanessa reynolds

Oct 19, 2014
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Solutions
by: Anonymous

Have 8yo with extremely heightened Spd. Also high functioning autism. Our lives were transformed by hearing about special clothes. Companies include soft, sensory smart, Hanna Andersson etc. google clothing for sensory smart children. The clothing is cotton jersey or fleece. Flat or no seams and is just great. Had trial and error figuring out most agreeable styles but now stick to the ones that work from season to season and dressing is now what do I fancy for my daughter and not a battleground. As to socks sensory smart do seamless heel less socks and wow. Well worth getting full formal development assessment done including occupational therapist.

Best of luck. Happy shopping and hope this helps.
Autism mum.

Aug 22, 2014
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You are not alone
by: Anonymous

We understand your predicament entirely. That Such an easy everyday task of dressing can cause so much distress and upheaval for the whole family. We have experienced an elevated amount of tension in our family as a result and it's a constant battle to function successfully every day. We have tried so many things like O.T., brushing. Joint compression, chiropractor, paediatrician, Paediatric specialist, medication, psychologists, cognitive behaviour therapy and hypnosis to name a few. We have seen some improvement with medication and cognitive therapy but we still experience bad days/periods. We love our child enormously but the constant daily struggle does take it's toll some days. You are not alone. We are here for you. My daughter would love to know that she is not alone also. I would love the opportunity for her to communicate with other children of similar age with SPD. Hang in there, you do an amazing job.

Aug 21, 2014
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My son before bed
by: Anonymous

My 7 year old son is Autistic and has many sensory issues.
He lays down and before he even gets a chance to sleep something happens and he screams as if he us being tortured and beats himself in the head . Ihave to hold him and he cannot verbally explain what happens. It almost seems demonic. Always right before he starts to sleep.
Or does something happen on his head when he lays down?
Has anyone heard or experienced this? Should I take him to a physician or Neurologist?

Aug 21, 2014
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Any Advice??
by: Zan

Hi just googled Symptoms of my 7year old Daughter & came Across this page. she has been showing symptoms mainly of Issues with Clothes underwear & wants to wear Keggings (with no underwear) &will often pull thm right up and want a bobble to tie around waist (???) I have not had her Diagnosed but have an appoinment next week with Doctor for Referral..im almost Certain SPD is what she suffers from..and has had since Nusery age. Could i ask for any Tips if possible..of stopping her freaking out whilst getting dressed..which often leads into a full blown Tantrum lasting a long time. ??? Any Advice would be a Great Help.. for Future &/or untill Diagnosis. Thanks

Apr 27, 2014
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Sounds familiar
by: Anonymous

Hi I have posted previously about our daughter who is now 9 years old. She still struggles with clothing, hair styling, car seat covers, mats, blankets, sheets etc but is slowly improving I guess. She certainly does present as a different child when at school. She 'keeps it all together' while there but inside she still struggles with her levels of comfort in her uniform and shoes/socks while trying to focus on her 'learning'. It doesn't mean she puts it on for you at home. We have learnt that our daughter is free to be herself at home and release all of her tension, tears, frustration and sometimes anger. She also is free to express herself In other ways like singing, dancing and role play. We allow her to do this when needed and comfort her when required. We tell her how proud we are of her and that she is beautiful no matter what she is wearing and how her hair is styled. She struggles with her self esteem at times and says she hates her body because it's not 'normal'. We try the approach that she is very lucky that she has a healthy body that is not sick and she can do so many amazing things with her body. We point out the struggles of others and say how lucky we are that we have things so good, although always listening and comforting her when she is feeling down. It is a daily struggle and sometimes she sees my tears through my brave words and we share a big hug. We are all doing the best we can to support and love our unique children.

Apr 27, 2014
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tactile defensivenes
by: Anonymous

My 10 year old daughter has sensory issues like most of you clothes.are the main.problem wears same clothes day in day out will only sit on sofa if there's a blanket under her hairs brushing is a pain getting ready for school is so hard she is now seeing an ot and using the brushing method but at school she is a complete different child teachers don't see any sensory issues at all does anyone else have this problem

Feb 25, 2014
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jeans and speech and tummy problems
by: concerned dad

from a early age my son messed up words. he would call a table a chair so we would go around the house saying the names of thing. then we notice he would mix words up in a sentence or leave a letter out. now he still does it sometimes, but talks like he has a swollen tongue as wel "that's the best way I can explain the way it sounds ". he also doesn't like the way certain cloths fill like jeans , he always wear lose shorts and very big shirts. and he has a lot of tummy problems. I didn't think the tummy had any thing to do with it tell I met this girl around his age that does the same stuff but not as bad. so is this a mental problem anybody else have the same problem with there kids

Oct 02, 2013
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wow I thought we were alone!
by: jo

Hi everyone THANK YOU for sharing here I am googling madly trying to find out WHY my 7 year old is sitting outside after an almost two hour tantrum session !! We have huge underpant and sock issues along with uncontrollable hysteria issues at the moment! Its has been / is extremely taxing and causes a lot of tension in the family. My husband and I are now separated and my 9 year old is sick and tied of her sisters behaviour! Just know others are going through our have dealt with similar things is reassuring! Now to find a solution! Thanks all for sharing

Sep 24, 2013
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My 9 yr old will not wear certain clothing.
by: Sandy

My daughter and I used to fight every morning before school. She would want to wear cotton shorts to school in the middle of winter. No tags in shirts or pants. No socks with seems on toes. She would have tantrums saying her clothing was burning her. She was tested a year ago for being gifted. She also was diagnosed with something called Dabrowski's Overexcitabilities or Supersensitivities in Gifted Children. Knowing this has made life more bearable for all of us.It's not a control thing or our daughter is just spoiled, that was something we thought at first. Although she is "gifted" she also has "special needs" My daughter picks out what she want's to wear right from the store. We even make a girls day out. She has to try everything on before we buy. Most of the time she wears leggings and tee-shirts. Good Luck

Jun 25, 2013
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Help! What works for one does not work for mine!
by: Muralsinc.com

I have just found this page and it is a relief to read many of your responses and I feel... somewhat better that she's not alone in this. My niece too had this problem and mostly out-grew it by age 10/11.

I have only 1 child, age 7. She seems to be growing and getting in the way of everything she does now! It began with diaper changes, swaddling,& car-seats. 5years now she hates all form-fitting clothing, elastic, ties, bows on dresses, strings in socks, layers of clothing, tags, shoes, pony-tails,hair brushing,seat belts, swimsuits, goggles, snow pants, scarves, & hats. Underwear & shorts are a daily battle.

She loves Crocks with no socks, wearing the same outfit 8 days in a row. When I hide, it she finds it. She has poor hygiene, weekly U.T.I.'s without medication, still sleeps with a pull-up. Poor self-esteem and although she is very bright, her studies are now being effected by it in school. one on one she is fine, but She stands apart in a crowd of girls and thinks every body hates her.

May 02, 2013
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We have the same clothes issues!!
by: Caring Mum

We can relate to every comment on this site! Our 8 year old daughter has struggled wearing clothes ever since she was around 18mths old. Her 'clothes problem' (her words) have included underpants, socks, shoes (any kind),shorts, skirts, shirts, dresses, togs, hair brushing/tying back, wet grass (at times), sandy beach (she can't stand the little balls made from crabs digging their holes on the beach), sheets on her bed have to be paper thin and ABSOLUTELY NO CREASES OR GRAINS OF SAND otherwise she can't get comfortable!! Although, she has always been a wonderful sleeper once she has fallen asleep. Seat belt in the car, fabric on our carseats, carpets (doesn't like the feel under her feet). Basically everything although it all changes in intensity of how annoying it is for her over time.

We have tried therapy brushing, 'heavy work' before dressing, cognitive behavior therapy (the most successful - although not a cure) purchasing seamless clothing, underwear and socks (screams when she puts them on also) and now after trying things for 5 years, medication. Not our first preference but we can't deny it has made a difference. Although, she still struggles with the clothes (only wears one thing), she is not screaming our house down and sitting alone in her bedroom, naked refusing to come out. We wish we had access to a local support group where she could meet other kids like her...she thinks she is the only one in the world who feels like this even though we have shown her websites etc. of others. We have 3 daughters so it is difficult when she sees her sisters dress in pretty clothes and hairstyles to go out. Hang in there everyone. When we have a bad day (regularly) I find a deep pressure hug works well. For me but also for her ;)

Mar 13, 2013
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Clothing Tips
by: Anonymous

Hello:

My daughter hates to wear clothes. I have found that "Happy Feet" socks seem to have solved the sock issue. I buy the yoga cotton pants from The Children's place. She likes them because the fabric is soft, but rolls up the waist band and wants a safety pin. At least she is getting dressed. I am trying to work with her on this issue and would appreciate any other tips. I know that what works for one child may not work for another, but I am willing to try.

Jan 25, 2013
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8 Year old Son with SPD
by: Margo

We have an 8 year old son diagnosed with SPD by my younger son's O/T that used to come to our home. It was a blessing. He was 6 years old at the time and we were frustrated with him - he wouldn't wear most pants, socks or shoes. Getting him dressed to get to Kindergarten was a horrible fight and he would just fly off the handle or get angry and hit/call us all names. Our two older daughters were getting frustrated with him. There are some great books that can give you an idea if that is what your child is really dealing with. My son had his own O/T for about a year until we could no longer afford it. It helped and made him less frustrated about recognizing that he has SPD (we call it "spud" sometimes for fun). Doing certain exercises BEFORE he melts down too badly helps. Also tight squeezes, brushing with the "special o/t brushes" and deep breathing when he is flying off the handle. He likes crab walks, chair push ups (good at school), push fives (he tries to push us across the room while we try to push him back). We try to make them games and used a reward system in the beginning. We have also been very open with his teacher and asked for her help during the school day, since he does better in the classroom staying engaged if he does exercies there (or she has him carry heavy things to another teacher). There are still bad days, but it's much better than it used to be.

Jan 13, 2011
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sleeping
by: Gumpster's Mom

My 9yr old has SPD and probably like most moms, I've learned little "tricks" along the way. Until last year when she saw an OT we just thought it was just her little quirks. When it first started getting cold this winter she decided to sleep in her snuggie , then we put her fleece blanket and quilt on her. She slept through the night! A week later I noticed that she had made it the entire week without waking up even once during the night and was wondering what was different. How come she finally was sleeping all night for the first time in 6yrs? It was the snuggie. It swaddled her just like when we wrap them up tight as newborns.

She has always had to have flannel or t-shirt sheets and big fluffy covers and pillows that I wash with MEGA softener but by removing he flat sheet and using the snuggie (we also now have lots of fleece blanket robes) the tightness and the pressure of the heavy blanket calms her nervous system. Its the same thing when she is in or about to go into meltdown mode and I hug her tightly or get her to push against my palms. I wish I had known most of this stuff from the first time she started showing symptoms (3 hrs after she was born) but u go with what works. I also recommend that you find a good Occupational Therapist for her. It's like having an interpreter who knows how to speak her language and explain it to you. Good Luck to you and your "Sensational" child.

Jan 10, 2011
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5 yr old daughter hates clothes
by: Anonymous

IVE READ ALL THE COMMENTS ON THIS PAGE AND NOW IM IN TEARS.MY FIVE YR OLD DAUGHTER NOT ONLY HATES CLOTHES,WE HAVE A HARD TIME GETTING HER TO SLEEP AT NIGHT.IVE BEEN HOMESCHOOLING HER NOW FOR THE PAST YEAR BECAUSE WHEN SHE FINALLY FALLS ASLEEP(WITH MOM)ITS USUALLY BETWEEN 10:30PM-3:00AM.I DONT WANT HER TO BE SLEEP DEPRIVED SO I LET HER SLEEP IN TILL SHE WAKES UP ON HER OWN.

WHEN SHE DOES WAKE UP SHE GOES TO THE BATHROOM THEN HEADS FOR A BLANKET(NOT CLOTHES)TO COVER HERSELF.I BRUSH HER TEETH,BRUSH HER HAIR(BUT SHE WONT LET ME PUT IT IN A BRAID OR PONYTAIL OR EVEN A BARRETTE.SHE WOULD RATHER HAVE HER HAIR IN HER FACE!.THERE WAS A TIME WHEN SHE WOULD WEAR CLOTHES(USUALLY PAJAMAS).I HAD TO CONSTANTLY WASH THE SAME CLOTHES OVER AND OVER AGAIN BECAUSE SHE REFUSED TO WEAR ANYTHING ELSE.EVENTUALLY THEY BECAME WORN OUT AND HAD TO BE TOSSED.

WEVE TRIED EVERYTHING.DIFFERENT TYPES OF CLOTHING ETC.WE EVEN TOLD HER THAT UNLESS SHE GOT DRESSED WED TAKE SOME OF HER TOYS AWAY UNTIL SHE STARTED DOING WHAT SHE WAS TOLD(THIS DIDNT WORK!).ITS STILL NOT WORKING.OUR DAUGHTER IS VERY BRIGHT IN SO MANY WAYS BUT A SIMPLE TASK LIKE GETTING DRESSED SEEMS TO BE SO DIFFICULT FOR HER.IT TAKES SO MANY HOURS TO FINALLY GET SOMETHING ON HER THAT WHEN WE WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE(OUT OF THE HOUSE)MY ENERGY LEVEL IS SO LOW, BOTH PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL.

WHEN MY HUSBAND COMES HOME FROM WORK HE USUALLY HAS TO DO THE GROCERY SHOP ETC..,BECAUSE MY ENERGY IS GONE.AND TALK ABOUT HARD ON YOUR MARRIAGE.ITS NICE TO KNOW WE AREN'T THE ONLY ONES OUT THERE WITH PROBLEM,I JUST WISH THERE WAS A SOLUTION.BEST OF LUCK TO YOU ALL.

Sep 26, 2010
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8 Yr. old girl, extreme daily tantrums, hates dressing..
by: Mom

My beloved little girl is tearing our house and family apart! I have three Daughters and she is the eldest. Gets good grades in School, but at home she has terrible extreme tantrums. The main problem has always been getting dressed. She refused to wear jeans, just soft pants. Socks/shoes are a nightmare every morning. The seam has to be adjusted just right. Sometimes we have to fix it four or five times. She just flies completely off of the handle when pushed to get dressed on her own. Been like this since she was 2 1/2 and going to preschool. Violence is also a very big problem. She takes her anger out on her younger Sister by hitting, pushing etc. This is a daily occurrence. I'm assuming because she is so unhappy and frustrated herself and it manifests itself in this way. The counselor at School doesn't have any answers as at School she is fine. She is shy around strangers and a little immature for her age. I just do not know where to turn..

Jul 29, 2010
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A common thread
by: Anonymous

Hello anonymous ! I literally gasped when I read your message as it sounds very similar to our 5 yr old daughter who has struggled extensively with wearing clothes since she was 18mnths - 2yrs old. I am a special education teacher so I have been pursuing the SPD route without any success! We have tried specialist OTs paediatrician, psychologist until someone suggested it could be GAD (generalised anxiety disorder) disguised as SPD. Our daughters issues also slowly extended outside the 'clothing' issues to include low self esteem, feeling self conscious around others, talking about dying which we thought was a result of SPD. So we have recently introduced zoloft also (after 12 mnths of anguish and trying Everything we could possibly think of). It's only been a couple if wks but we can c some improvement. The bottom line is ..... It's breaks our heart to c our gorgeous daughter unhappy to the point of screaming 'i wish I was dead' everytime she gets dressed. It's almost a relief to hear we aren't the only ones struggling with this out there.

May 15, 2010
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a common thread
by: Anonymous

My very smart and lovely 10 yr old daughter has GAD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which does not manifest specifically the same as SPD, but has many common threads. She does have some issues with clothing, but it is not the prevalent issue.

I am a Pyschotherapist and know that I cannot be my child's therapist, but feel grateful to have some additional insight available in our struggles. The social issues are constant and increasing as she grows and the school kids become more cliqish and competitive. At 7 yrs old, we tried every possible route, every therapy, before considering medication. Of course, when your baby is miserable and begs for some kind of help, you'll eventually try anything. So my precious child has been on Zoloft, starting at 25mg and 3 years later at 50mg. It does not make her feel or seem "drugged" in there lease.

She is still a child with anxiety issues that are well above average, but she rarely "hates" herself, hits herself in the forehead (familiar to anyone?), or wonders why she should LIVE. I just wanted to share this with other parents who are struggling with issues tied to anxiety.

Nov 21, 2009
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11 year old - AS diagnosis.. might have SD too?
by: Anonymous

After reading the checklist and all of the comments, I think my 11 yr old son who was diagnosed with AS at age 5.. has SD. So many of the areas on the checklist apply. the person who commented above (anonymous).. your son sounds just like mine! refuses to wear denim.. no buttons or zippers, very strong vocabulary, highly creative and imaginative, difficulty making friends, very immature for age.

Nov 17, 2009
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Someone help me!
by: Donna

I have a 6 year old daughter who has changed so much over the last couple of months, with a really bad attitude and always angry and crying all the time and she won't sleep in her own room.

She won't wear underpants and socks are a major problem too.I have a constant battle getting her dressed for school in the morning as she says everything irritates her and then we end up in a screaming match.It is starting to really effect our family life and my 10 year old daughter is sick of all the yelling and it is starting to be a major problem for my marriage as well.have been to numerous doctors but none seem to be helping.Please can anyone help!!!!

Aug 15, 2009
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Clothing Struggle
by: DJ

My daughter is 8 and was diagnosed with a non-verbal learning disability in kindergarten. She is now in third grade and is getting OT, Speech and Counseling in school as well as Special Ed. Services. Her OT issues at time of diagnosis dealt primarily with fine motor issues. It wasn't until a year later when she received make-up OT services due to her OT leaving, that we learned of her sensory issues.

The new OT casually mentioned the sensory issues as if we already knew about them. At that moment, a whole new world opened up for us and my daughter's behaviors began to make sense. Clothing has been a huge issue and what we have found effective is a reward system. We started with trying on the clothes the night before and laying everything out. If she was able to get dressed in the morning without a tantrum, she got a star sticker on the calendar in her room.

It has been 2 months and not only can she lay out the clothes the night before, she can pick out her clothes in the morning without a fuss. The calendar chart and stickers were all her idea. After a certain amount of stickers, she will get a reward. Hope this helps! I KNOW how difficult this can be!

Aug 09, 2009
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We have the same clothes issues!!
by: Mondy

Hi Vanessa, we are the parents of a 4 1/2 year old daughter who has struggled wearing clothes which feel restrictive, tight or uncomfortable (which includes pretty much everything)! At present she is only wearing one style of dress and finds it very difficult to wear underpants. We have found if we put her underpants and dress in the microwave and heat them up a little before she puts them on it sometimes helps. We also hold her tightly after she puts clothes on and work hard at redirecting her attention and this can help too. Basically getting dressed is very stressful for the whole family and causes her great distress! We have tried so many different approaches, taken her to pediatrician and a specialized o.t. and currently taking her to a psychologist.

We are very worried about prep next year with the uniform and wearing shoes and socks (she has worn thongs for almost 3 years)! We have just bought her uniform 6 mnths early and will start to wash it to soften it and encourage her to try it regularly before next year. I hope things are improving for you and your family and hope you know you are not alone!

Jul 23, 2009
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Clothes Issues!!!
by: Anonymous

I have similar issues with my 4 1/2 year old daughter who has struggled with wearing clothes, having hair pinned up, wearing seatbelt in car, wearing shoes/socks, getting hair wet, feeling 'wet' when she has been to the toilet and after drying herself after a shower etc. It has been going on since she was at least 2 years old and now we fear she has developed an anxiety disorder associated with this!

We have been to specialist Occupational Therapists, pediatrician and currently seeing a psychologist who was making progress using a 'relaxation' tape but she has recently resorted back to her 'anxious behaviours' associated with dressing. When her clothes bother her, she is very sad and chooses to miss out on events so she doesn't have to get dressed! We are very concerned how she will cope with school next year wearing a uniform and shoes and socks!! Any ideas??

Jun 15, 2009
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any of this sound familiar?
by: Anonymous

I have yet to make an appointment but I'm almost positive my 10 yr old son has AS. Clothing has always been an issue. Everything is "itchy" - even the softest materials seem to irritate him. He also detests shorts with buttons and zippers and refuses to wear denim.

He has an extensive vocabulary - always has - so much so that adults often laugh after having a conversation with him because he sounds wise beyond his years. Despite this fact, doing homework is TORTURE.

He has a hard time understanding instructions so I basically have to read the instructions to his assignments, which seem straightforward to me, and interpret them in language he understands. Once I do this he completes his assignments, but it takes him FOREVER. An assignment that most children could finish in 10 minutes takes my son over an hour to complete. Despite this fact he's on the honor roll, which astonishes me.

I struggled for a long time thinking he was lazy but now i truly believe he doesn't process information and take direction like most of us.

Most disturbing is his tendency to develop annoying little habits. Lately, he clears his throat as often as 6 times a minute. For a while it was humming softly. I have lost my temper and screamed and begged him to stop, but he seems incapable and I feel guilty because it's as though it's beyond his control.

He's also slow moving and a little clumsy. I used to call him my pokey puppy thinking he would outgrow his lack of coordination, but over the years he has never excelled in anything remotely athletic. He literally cannot do jumping jacks, and I was a competitive gymnast when I was a child, so it used to baffle me. Of course I love him as he is, and if anything a diagnosis of AS would answer so many questions I have about his development, or lack thereof.

On the upside, he seems to be his own person and has no problem telling people if he's not enjoying himself or doesn't like a particular activity or food, etc., so I'm not so worried about him doing bad things to fit in. He usually seems happy, almost proud even, to not fit in. He doesn't make eye contact with new people especially, and he doesn't handle affection well at all. When I hug him, he rarely hugs me back, and I know he feels uncomfortable. If any of you can relate please let me know.

May 26, 2009
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SPD
by: Deb

Hi, my name is Debie and I just found out that my 6 year old daughter has SPD. It was so frustrating for both her and I. When I was at my counselors, he told me straight up what the situation was. Thank goodness there was a name for this. I thought I was going crazy and failing as a mom.

We are now in a better place. Whenever my daughter has one of her "episodes", I right away acknowledge her feeling and tell her that" I know, it must be really hard for you", and she immediately stopped and started to cry uncontrollably and melted in my arms with relief that I didn't think she was "crazy". She is such a beautiful child. What I believe we need to do as parents is to turn their mad into sad and allow them to cry.

I am now going to be homeschooling my daughter this year. I'm terrified but the schools don't understand her and already put a label on her. My job as her only trusted one is to protect her and love her unconditionally. I know this was long winded but there you have it. Good luck to everyone.

Feb 20, 2009
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reply to lynn
by: vanessa

Thank you so much for your response, it means such alot. Will keep you posted on our progress and yes, would love you to keep me posted too.

Feb 20, 2009
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SPD
by: Lynn

Your daughter very well could have SPD. My son was diagnosed when he was 8 years old. He is now 10 years old. His biggest problem was also his clothing. He still will not wear shirts with collars, buttons, or zippers. He has tactile defensiveness.

Your daughter needs to be evaluated by an occupational therapist. My son still struggles in school. He never brings his homework home and doesn't want to do his work. He has a hard time making friends. He has an appointment March 13th to be tested for ADD, OCD, and Asperger's syndrome.

It is so hard sometimes. I get so frustrated because of some of the things he does. His school counselor told me to try and not get upset with him because he can't help the things that he does. He has come a long way from where he started. He still has a lot of issues that need to be dealt with.

Good luck, I know how hard it is to have a child with SPD. The main thing is never give up on your child no matter what. Keep me posted on how things are going with you and I will keep you updated on my son's progress. Stay strong.

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