Helping Siblings understand

by Christa

My 23 month old was diagnosed at 17 months with SPD. I also have a 3.5 year old. I am trying to find a way to help my older child understand that what his younger brother is doing behavior-wise is not in his control.

Does anyone have any tips or suggestions on how I can help his siblings understand? I fear that the older child will become resentful towards us and towards his brother because he can't 'get away' with throwing fits like the younger one does or because they are treated differently.

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Jul 22, 2012
Sibling part of ASD child progress
by: Anonymous

Its a difficult place to be isn't it. Explaining to a young child what is happening can be a little scary for the parent, but try to explain in terms that your 3 yo can relate to. Such as 'sibling is feeling very sad, and doesn't know how to show he/she is sad. Can you help me to make sibling feel better?'

That will allow your 3 year old to feel a part of the solution, to understand that this is something that her sibling is feeling. If your 3 yr old questions a little more, you can possibly add that sibling doesn't know what to do when he/she is sad, so we can help by showing him/her.

Give positive feedback to your 3 yo, lots of hugs and telling other people what a great helper 3 yo is, in front of the child helps the child feel valued and will curb resentment.

As they get older, they will be aware that sibling has feelings and has problems responding. Though keep in mind that all siblings will feel a little annoyed or frustrated of another, regardless of any disabilities any of them have, its just 'sibling nature' Mostly though, ASD siblings are usually more aware of others. My older child is already wanting to go into specialized nursing, because she wants to help kids like her sister. Use your instincts, you know your child better than anyone.

HTH a little.

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