Husband Denial of Sensory Disorder

by Valerie
(North Texas)

I too, have a husband who denies that our daughter (7) has this disorder. It might stem from the fact that since she was 4 I had taken her to doctor after doctor. I finally was referred to a great Psychiatrist who asked me a lot questions about my daughter. She decided it was depression, anxiety and possibly even bipolar. She prescribed risperidal, lexapro and told me to give her Bendadryl as needed for extreme agitation.

That was after she started kindergarten and was hurting other kids and I was getting calls from the school about her behavior problems.

We are still seeing the same psychologist, which he has no problem with , but he will always make comments about how the doctors will always tell you what you want to hear, in other words, the diagnoses must be what you tell them you think it is.

We recently (thank God!) were referred to a great therapist who mostly works with autistic kids, but definitely noticed some sensory issues with my daughter, who is not autistic, but shows very many red flags of sensory integration disorder.

My husband has been no help in this, and when I try to explain to him what will trigger her and not to tease her and such, he has no interest in it. He will still tease her, which really sets her off and makes her feel bad, and also my mother will tell my daughter that she could control all of her reactions if she just tried hard enough!

I don't even send my daughter to spend the night at my parents house anymore because my mom is so hard on her and makes her cry and doesn't "get it"

My daughter tells me every day about how the kids at school are mean to her and she wishes she was never born and doesn't think she deserves to eat or have a family.

I am setting up a meeting between my therapist (the autism specialist), my parents and my husband so that maybe she can explain it all better than I can and just maybe help them to realize how different they need to react to her. It all breaks my heart that no one understands and defends my little girl the way that I do.

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May 02, 2010
Doing Great Thanks
by: Anonymous

Thanks for your comments everyone.

My daughter does have one best friend her age. A little boy she loves playing with who accepts her totally and they never fight. The more I think about it, she gets to play alot with other friends of her sisters and their younger sisters, they just fight much more often.

My husband means well, but I don't think he will ever fully understand. :)

I have a friend whose daughter has Asbergers (sp?) and she referred me to a wonderful social skills group my daughter attends every Saturday now, and is going to occupational therapy once a week as well. I feel good now.

Apr 30, 2010
don't forget yourself
by: Anonymous

My husband also had a hard time understanding our daughters spd. It has taken years for him to finally get it. My mom sounds a lot like yours also, but with time she has really come around and now my daughter loves going there. Get everyone you can helping your daughter, school guidance counselor, anyone to help her get through. And don't forget about taking care of yourself, it's hard not having your immediate family give you the support you need.

good luck with your plan, hope it works

Mar 10, 2010
by: Khat

I wrote the previous comment from work... I just wanted to support you more and hope your husband stops his behavior. You are doing everything to help your dear daughter...others are trying to force her to be different.
Keep telling her she is fine how she is and that you love her no matter what (I'm sure you do, everyday). It saddens me that she feels so alone.
Children should not have to feel such stress. Does your daughter have one close friend that she can be herself with?
My 4 year old daughter with SPD has a friend who accepts her the way she is and doesn't find her different. I think this helps her.
Thinking of you and the situation and wishing you well.

Feb 20, 2010
by: Anonymous

Please please continue your wonderful support of your daughter and continue to protect her from possibly well-meaning but clueless people. I hope you know what a wonderful parent you are- especially when spouses and parents just don't get it. Stay strong!

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