I always thought I was retarded as a kid...

by Katie

I'm 22 years old now and when I was 6, I was diagnosed with spd. All my mom said was that I have something called "sensory integration disorder" and that i would have to work harder to keep up with other kids. i didnt understand what it meant. i assumed i had a mental problem and that i was stupid. as a kid, i didnt think about the fact that the name has "sensory" in it not "mental" i just assumed i was weird and no one else was like me. looking back on it now, i see what it really is and it's not as bad as i once thought.

i never liked hugs. if someone tried to hug me i would shrug them off or just not hug back and then feel dirty for a while. i liked chewing on things like shirts and blankets. i still catch myself doing that sometimes and people look at me like i'm crazy. i think during my childhood this disorder was misunderstood. my mom told my 3rd grade teacher about it just so she would understand. she came up to me in the middle of class and grabbed my shoulder pretty hard. i did not like touch at all and that really bothered me

i still remember feeling strange as she did that. while she touched my shoulder she announced to the class that i was "special" and she needed to do this sometimes to get me to pay attention. i never liked that teacher.

anyways, i'm married now and i kind of forgot i even had this till it popped into my mind and i decided to research it. i found this website and realized that i still do a lot of the stuff. i wrote it off at nervous habits but now i realize what it really was. i never even told my husband that i have this, i think he just thinks my chewing on blankets and needing a blanket when i sleep (even if its burning hot outside) were just little quirks i had.