Just realizing at 37 years of age that I myself could very well have a severe disorder and ADHD

by Tara
(Merrimack, N.H.)

Just realizing at 37 years of age after helping my DXed at the age of 3 struggle to receive his H.S. dip. that I MYSELF COULD VERY WELL HAVE A SEVERE DISORDER AND ALSO ADHD.As long as I remember, I was labelled as " a behavioral issue child, a defiant trouble maker adolescent, and teen, a er-responsible young adult, and finally MENTAL CASE. I've either quit or got fired from every job I've had. I never took to authority well. I jump, like a freak, when ever I hear certain noises, I will panic if I'm not comfortable, in my clothes or my surroundings, even if a light is too bright. I hate crowded places, and I've been judged as a drama queen psycho probably 5000 times in my life.

I think about how I think I've failed at everything in my life, my children, my marriage, my dad, my sister, and The one person who was the core of soul, my best and only friend, the one that never labeled or judged "my mom" last December 10th of 2010 I got a phone call from my sister around 8:30pm that my dad went to check on her b/c she had been very ill which that's what he thought, and she was laying in her bed lifeless. I knew it was gonna happen but it WAS LIKE I WAS IN A 100 FT HOLE SCREAMING UP AT MY FAMILY and they either blocked it out or were in some kind of intense denial!!

Anyway, my life has crumbled i can not function make a decision, follow through with anything, people are just saying its depression. Yes I'm a lost little girl w/o her mom but I can't help but to think that her health triggered my undiagnosed SPD..... Now what to do?

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Mar 24, 2012
Strange Suggestion
by: Anonymous

I know this is going to sound really strange, but have you considered finding a low student to teacher ratio college and taking some time to find a good, friendly school? I have SPD and I've had a lot of problems, I haven't lost either of my parents, but they're both completely disabled so as far as dealing I can sometimes be on my own, but I started college, informed them I have SPD, and the next thing I know I'm friends with most of the faculty. They don't care if I jump at noises or act strangely. In fact, even some of our teachers think they have this disorder. The math teacher does anyway. But I tend to agree, find something you can do to be productive and take away these negative feelings and take your mind of things would be best. Whether it's volunteering like the person above me suggested, or going to school, or maybe even starting a web based business doing something you like. Anything. Life is what you make it, not what a disorder does, and if you decide you want something in life, no matter what it is, go for it. I'm hyper sensative and studying to be a music teacher, which in a sense means you can do anything you want to. Don't let anyone tell you any different.

Feb 26, 2012
37? What you can do!
by: Swring Co Inc

What you can do, in addition to everything else you decide (and I'm sure lots of people will have good, bad, and indifferent suggestions for you is this: Quickly explore your community for a program - a location - a clinic - an outreach program helping people and VOLUNTEER! Help with anything you have the skills to do, from serving meals to delivering food to being a friend of a person who has as many or more problems than you, ....and be their friend. Volunteering will tell you aftter all these years of feeling failure you ARE important, valuable, capable, nice, open to learning and mostly determined to like yourself. Once it starts it will never stop and you will be able to look back with pride. By the way your mother would agree!! purpose - a location, clinic, larger than you.

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