Mom of two

I have two girls. Both have difficulty with clothing, tags, textures and sounds. One child has so much difficulty with clothing that the mornings are dreaded here in our house. She absolutely screams with tights but refuses to wear pants. Shoes and socks are awful for her and sometimes noises too. My older daughter doesn't like a lot of noise, she wears her pants(all of them) unbuttoned but sinched up so tight on her hips that it makes a mark on her skin. Also they are so tight that they give her a wedgie. Most of the time I just allow them to look disheveled, unmatched and even dirty to avoid a war. It looks as though I don't buy clothing for them, when in fact they have so many nice, matching, and CLEAN clothes but they refuse to wear them. It's so difficult!



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Sep 15, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Great advice Debbie!
by: Kim S.

Truly great advice from Debbie! I have a son who is now 12 and is a gifted learner. It's been hell to try to get him to do things we consider reasonable, like wearing pants in the winter and shoes that tie. He prefers shorts and he ties the drawstrings so tight he leaves grooves in his skin. Same with swim trunks. He likes his toes wiggly in shoes and is just now learning to wear something other than Crocs!

We have learned which battles to fight and which ones just keep our household disrupted. And nobody really wins anyway. The key seems to be to find a COMPROMISE. Something that you can both live with. Our son is now allowed to wear shorts year-round (in Upstate NY) provided he wears warm sweats over them until getting to school. Once he's in the building, he can wear just the shorts. But we can't seem to be able to keep him from super-tight belts! That's just his comfort level.
Jul 15, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		5 year old granddaughter
by: Anonymous

Our fabulous 5 year old has always hated tags, etc.(so do I) I cut them out of all her clothes. Not such a big thing.
Also recently bought an anti itch spray at a farmers market....it seems to help, even if it is a placebo. the spray was developed by a chemist who also itched.so maybe there is something to it.... At least she sees we are doing something to help her.
May 06, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		some more stuff
by: DebbieKinIL

6. Be prepared for battle everyday-lol - check to see if you notice if they are affected by the weather- lo or hi pressure changes really affect my DD
7. HUGs!!! and Rubbing
8. It does actually get better as they age- I found that the younger years were the worst,maybe cause the kids are growing so fast.
9. Tell your child about SPD and that it is no big thing-also tell you family, Tell your kids, that they can wear comfy clothes at their age no one minds. Thank goodness we have a cauual society.
10. When buying clothes - limit the time spent trying on- if frustration builds- time to leave. Try on every style- if it works then buy extra's.
11. Accept how your kids wear their clothes. This was the hardest for me. Layers, tight cinch etc. My DD has scars around her waist from pulling drawstrings - now she doesn't do it any more. Maybe it's the yoga pants style - I think the pressure makes them feel better or layering.
12. Have a de-stress time and clothing- my DD sometimes changes into her comfy nightgown, right after school, on bad days- this nightgrown barely touches her. After a de-stress time , she changes back into her day clothes.
13. My DD sometimes takes warm bathes- she tells me that make her feel better
14. Girls- peer pressure- my DD wants to look like the other girls- yes, she is at that age and she really tries and overcomes her clothing issues to do so.
15. Are you good at sewing? We have altered a few clothes to make them work.

Good luck and post if you find things that work for your kids. We all need help with this.
May 06, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Sounds like my DD
by: DebbieKinIL

She has tactile defensiveness. We learned the "spots" that were the most sensitive by asking her.My DD refused to wear anything around her waist (this included underwear) then we asked her why some clothes worked & others didn't. weo figured out that she is very sensitive there.Heres something we tried and worked.
1.Habitation to desensitize clothes-offerthe a reward bigger than the sensitivity to motivate you kids. They can earn the reward by wearing the clothes 10 mins,then 20 min,and 30 etc. for 4-5 days.The key is to make the reward something that they really, really want. My daughter cried many times,when desensitizing, but she wanted that DS. And she did desensitize to new clothes, when she needed to. Listen, we needed more than one pair of pants and she outgrew her one dress that she could wear. But we got through it. I had her jump on the trampoline right before and during the habitations. Also get this- she needed to desensitize to a new nightgown. We have a point system- wear the clothes and you get points for rewards. My DD said, can I change right before going to bed? Then I won't feel the nightgown, cause I am so tired. I'll be doing habitation during my sleep! I said -OK. The she said next week, I'll wear it for 1/2 hr before bed, then 1 hr,- so, I learned that working with her to accept new clothing is the key.
2. I never use the dryer for clothes- hang them up to dry on hangers
3. Give plenty of time- maybe an extra hour to dress in the morning- really, this sucks but the morning is a clothing transition time
4. Distraction during dressing- TV, videos, music, eating, playing games etc
5. Jumping up and down at least 10'x, compressing joints, or something using the major motor areas- yeah, chase the dog or cat or your brothers or sisters- motor activities for 10 minutes can help reset SPD- motor activities for 10 minutes, every 2 hrs is what my OT told me.
(more to follow)
Apr 28, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Anonymous
by: Anonymous

yes- it can be frustrating for sure. i have to cut tags out of clothes, buy seamless socks and use earplugs with my son, among other things. have you had your girls evaluated for spd? there are many helpful therapies, resources and ideas that can help with these types of challenges.

try not to worry too much about what they look like and how they dress and what other people think, and maybe focus more on what types of things can be done to help them get through these challenges. :)

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