My 6 year old son wet his pants daily and recently has been pooping them too

He has been potty trained since 18 months but has always had accidents. Even if I wake him up twice during the night he still wakes up wet. He leaks a lot during the day.

Recently he has been going poop in his pants. Within the past 2 weeks it happened once in school twice at home. He hides the dirty underwear so I find them in the laundry room.

I have no patience I feel horrible for it. I try not to hit him because I feel I will really hurt him. I don't know if it's a medical issue or just plain laziness.

I really need HELP.... I cry myself to sleep because I think in a bad mom I don't know what else to do.

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Chin up
by: Anonymous

First of all, you are not a bad mother. the very fact that you are seeking help implies that you are plugged in enough to know that your son is having challenges and are trying to do something about it.

sometimes, we as mothers can be very hard on ourselves, especially in times when we feel the most pressure to keep it 'together' or be the most patient. spd, can be a difficult, frustrating, overwhelming issue, and with so many other things that can go along with it and be triggers for children/adults who have it. challenging because neurologically, things aren't always consistent.

that said, i would agree with the previous post. it's likely your son is not doing this on purpose. children with spd can sometimes have intestinal issues, bowel issues, etc. which would be worth looking into. i would also second the vote to seek some help from a qualified occupational therapist. they can be such wonderful resources for ideas and ways to implement tools at home and school to help our children be successful and to also help us know how to help our children. :)

my first thought and a question that came to me as well when i read your post, your son is 6. did he just start first grade? all day school? does he have some anxiety? i have a friend whose daughter started school and she began peeing her pants at school when she got too overwhelmed, had anxiety about taking a test or didn't want to participate in something. it became the anxiety way of getting her out of certain situations. she would then have to call home, etc. etc. she also has some ocd tendencies. do you notice any pattern or triggers to the incidents that he is having? or have the teacher(s) noticed? just a thought.

children at this age, naturally want to please people, especially their parents and teachers. i would bet, he has something going on much deeper or medically at the root of this issue. keep your chin up. continue to plug along and help him get it figured out. he needs you. you are stronger than you think. walk away when you are angry with the situation. hitting and yelling etc will do more damage to his self esteem in the long now and in the long run. try to be empathetic and remember it's not on purpose. you'll get it figured out. find an OT. :) good luck.

Seek medical/OT help and advice
by: Dan Travis

First off, you are not a bad mom.
Secondly, I doubt this is laziness, especially if your son also has SPD. He likely doesn't even notice stuff is coming out until after the fact. I doubt he is intentionally doing this.

It's possible your son may suffer from enuresis (inability to feel/control bladder) or encorpresis (inability to feel control bowel movements). If he's on any medications, those can also lead to these issues.

I strongly recommend seeking medical help and/or seeing his occupational therapist, if he has one for SPD. This is not a pretty issue, but I'm sure it's causing a lot of embarrassment and shame on his part. I urge you not to hit him, but to seek help medically to see what else could be at the root of this all.

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