My son Jack who is 10

by Amanda

My eldest son has from a very young age had very demanding behaviour problems. He had a delay in his speech and play. His speech is adequate for his age now, but his play is still immature. He gets very frustrated by a lot of things, like ie foods, doesn't like certain textures and taste, says it makes him sick. Hates noisy busy places. Will ask people to be quiet when he is concentrating.

Clothes can be a big issue, as he is always complaining about his socks. Doesn't like wearing tight clothes and doesn't like wearing short sleeves. But will wear his school uniform which has short sleeves, but if you could see it, it looks worn out. He doesn't like brushing his teeth. Jack has never been a child you could cuddle, he will move out of a 3 seater chair if somebody else sits down. He is not very good at sports PE, he doesn't seem to be able to coordinate his movements very well. Or ride a bike. He states on more than one occasion, that he doesn't have any family, but nosy people living in his house. He always addresses himself in his full name, even to me. In the last two years he occasional has started to call me mum etc. If on the telephone will call me by my name not mum. These are just a few to mention.

In his school, he is above average in his school work and they have an answer for all our concerns, because they know he is different from other children but not enough to get the professionals in.

We keep asking for help, because at home his temper tantrums and emotional outbursts are disrupting the rest of the household. At school he just switches off and can appear vacant, with no emotional output.

He is moving up to high school next year, and I worry that he will not be able to cope, firstly the school will seem massive compared to where he is now it only holds 55 kids.

As per usual awaiting pediatrician and school psychology to assess. I am hoping that these issues will be addressed.

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Sep 15, 2008
Hang in there!
by: Jessi

If your insurance will allow it, I'd bypass the doctor and get your son to an OT - at least that way while you wait for the doctor, perhaps your son can get some OT for his sensory behaviors. Also, I had some trouble with my son's pediatrician before - but when I called the office and asked for a referral to a developmental pediatrician, I got a fairly quick response. I don't think he wanted to be responsible for diagnosing my son's problems, so given the chance to pass it off to a more qualified individual took it off his shoulders. Can't say this would work for everyone else though. The developmental pediatrician spotted my son's problems right off and referred him for therapy - he also has a receptive/expressive language disorder and SPD. Now, not only did I get a referral, but I also have the dev. ped.'s report and dianoses on paper - which has come in handy since my son's insurance just changed and I'm having to defend his need for speech therapy. She was just a godsend to us.

My son also 'takes it out on me' when he gets home sometimes. Sometimes I'm grateful that it's me and not his teacher and classmates getting it (as is sometimes the case). Not sure if I have any solution for that - sometimes we'll go outside and run around as physical activities often help his demeanor. I really think the OT has done wonders for him in this area - he has far less breakdowns than he did before we started.

Good Luck!

Sep 13, 2008
I had to constantly ask her doctors to be tested.

My daughter who is nine. Was just recently diagnosed with post complex partial seizure disorder, autism disorder (high functioning), memory disorder, severe mixed receptive-expressive language disorder, etc. She has some of the same issues you mentioned. I had to really stay on her doctors to get her tested.

All her life I knew something was not right. I was told she would grow out of it, but she never did.

Last year her grades started to go down drastically. She also started to do rapid eye blinking and neck twitching. That was the only way I could get my doctor to take her issues serious enough to send her to a developmental pediatrician.

She sent her for an MRI and EEG. We then seen a neurologist and found out both were abnormal. The neurologist sent us to a group of doctors who diagnosed her with autism disorder (high functioning).

This summer she had to be constantly on the move (spinning in circles, pacing, making mouth noises, flapping her hands, rocking in chair, etc.) When she was put on medicine for seizure disorder all of that slowed down some. Especially at night it used to take her two hours to go to sleep, but now it takes 30 minutes.

That is until school started then every thing went in reverse. I guess it is because of change in routine. Her grades are okay except for her test. Her teacher says she doesn't notice any outburst at school so far. That is good, but when she gets home it is a nightmare. She has to get all of her anxiety she was holding in out. So she has to constantly be moving and she has emotional outburst. This emotional outburst has gotten worse since she started her medicine. She also showed a lot more aggression since starting her medicine.

She also talks about being afraid of dying. Since she started taking her medicine she will say things like "what would happen if I jumped of a cliff" and one day in the car she said "she wanted to escape out the window and touch the power lines". I ask her why she say's this and she said she was just curious as to what would happen. She had a fear of dying before her medicine except now it is worse. I have called her neurologist three times and can not get her to call me back.

I am trying my best to deal with all of this. I really hope things work out okay for you and your son.

Sep 12, 2008
10 year old with SPD
by: Lauri

My daughter is also 10, soon to be 11. I can understand so much of what you described. My daughter is a sensory seeker, makes noises that annoy all of us, bothers her sisters incessantly by getting in their space or trying to wrestle with them, and feels the need to eat constantly. She holds it together in school, but falls apart at home. Her sisters and I get the brunt of her frustrations and have to act as her punching bags.

I get a lot of verbal abuse from her...terrible disrespect. She always feels sorry for her behavior after the fact, but honestly can't help herself. I just wish I knew how to teach her self control. She is so frustrated it makes me want to cry. School is hard for her and to top it off she is one of the youngest in her class. I would have liked to have had her wait another year to start school initially, but my husband didn't want to pay for daycare... big area of contention. She is just so immature and struggles so much with learning. I am afraid of what her future holds. I worry about depression, etc.

Sep 12, 2008
Tough tweens
by: Anonymous

Hi Amanda, There are definitely some things about your experience I can identify with. I have a very challenging daughter. She was diagnosed with ADD as well as Auditory Defensiveness. She too is very immature as is majority of the kids, as well as, family members I know with ADD.

Something changed though when she was 11, she became depressed talked about how she'd rather be dead. I was horrified, I'd always known she was a hand full but I truly hadn't considered what a toll her not being like the other kids was taking on her. She didn't feel smart and she knew she couldn't keep up physically or socially with her peers. She would come home and take out her frustration on me after holding it in all day.All of us were exhausted. But when she said she'd rather be dead there was no more kidding myself that she was o.k. I took her to see a behavioral specialist who put her on ADD meds (This was not an easy choice).

But we as parents were very positive about it and my daughter is a changed girl. She is happy and confident, her grades are now A's and B's she can focus on conversations and she has made many friends. I'm not saying this is the answer for your son but we do have options and choices, truly all kids want is to have their families,and teachers proud of them.

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