No help with school system

HI there everyone!

Our son Max is 3 and was diagnosed with SPD about 6 months ago. He was let go at 3 from the regional center because he wasn't severe enough. He bites, bangs his head, stims, etc. and it's getting harder and harder.

We have a 8 year old as well and he has SPD, language delays and mild autism.

I have fought for years for our oldest to even be evaluated and I finally got someone to see what we see.

I took Max to our school district to be tested for autism and speech. You can't have O.T. services without speech services. His speech was delayed but he is getting better but still has jibberish. I got the impression today that he will not qualify but I'm not sure. Because he smiled at the evaluators and interacted a little they assume he isn't autistic. Which believe me we want to hear.

My question is has anyone ever had a school system say your child wasn't delayed enough but you knew they weren't up to standards compared to other kids their age? He needs O.T. so badly and we cannot afford it on our own. Should I push for the speech support?

I'm so emotionally drained with everything and I have 5 children all together which is tough anyways but having kids with special needs is even harder.

Thanks so much for listening


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Mar 15, 2009
Be aware of the IEP and 504 regulations
by: Anonymous

I am a school PT in New Jersey. DO you have a report from the teacher/speech/OT/PT?
If your child cannot keep up with his peers in class ( cutting, coloring), has poor social skills ( communicates using physical forms-biting, head banging etc) and sentence formation is lagging behind compared to his peers, lags behind in his play repertoire, it seems like he needs all related services.

It is important that the therapists have the experience to detect minimal delays eg a lot of schools may feel a child does not require PT if a preschooler is able to walk and negotiate steps. But he could have "hidden disorders" like sensory disorders which affects his play and social skills. Eventually this will affect his behavior, self esteem and academic achievement.

I have not heard of having speech as a pre requisite for OT services. He can have just OT/PT services.

However, if he is not classified then the funding for OT/PT comes from the school and that's when it gets dicey.

You can consult with an IEP advocate to find out what your child's are or google IEP and find out.
I know it's very frustrating, but it's important not to get on the wrong side of the school too much.... just find out what the facts are (know the law) and request them to give you everything in writing... why they cannot provide services etc etc.

Mar 14, 2009
thank you
by: marisa

Thank you Melissa for your kind words. It's nice to know we're not alone, which is how we feel sometimes. I will look into our insurance but have had problems with them too! Sigh...

thank you again

Mar 13, 2009
School isn't much help
by: Melissa

You are an amazing mom, Marisa. You are clearly doing so much to seek resources for your children, even though you are exasperated.

I'm sorry to say that our experience was similar. It became very clear to me that our strapped school system had to do triage with their limited funds and filter out the kids with milder issues.

We ended up seeking out evaluations on our own to get a better sense of our son's issues. I didn't feel comfortable relying on the school or early on given their minimize the number of kids who needed services.

If you are lucky enough to have private insurance you could check into the coverage for these services.

One of the provisions of the TARP "bailout" bill was that commercial insurers are required to cover mental health issues at the same level as other diagnoses. So maybe that would be helpful in getting some of these expenses covered.

Just keep in mind that you aren't crazy! There are systemic barriers preventing our kids from getting evaluated and treated and being understood by others. It's exhausting. Be really good to yourself. :)

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