No stitching, tags and please don't be tight .... uuugggghhhhhh

by MommaBird
(palmyra , IN )

My 7 year old is now into her 4th year of not wearing underwear.

When she was 3 she started being very odd about wearing socks. It started off not the big of a deal but quickly turned for the worse (for me) it started taking at least 30 mins to get her socks on, they had to be inside out and lay perfectly across her toes. I would be in tears, I would be late for work because of the sock battle.

Then soon after that came the jeans. She absolutely would not wear jeans (after i went and spent $80.00 on jeans of course). Then came the no underwear or deal.

At first I would force her to wear them, she is a little girl and should wear underwear. Until my daughter was in tears daily. SO I threw my hands up and said whatever .

Well now she is back in jeans and socks are a hit and miss issue. Here lately i have been getting back lash from family members about MAKING her wear them... To be honest I was very ticked off by their input. Its not their child, she's mine and if it bothers her to wear underwear then she don't have to. I tried explaining to these people what was the reasoning but i still felt judged like I was not a good mother.

The brushing of the hair I thought was her just being whiny,I assumed she was just tender headed never knew that it was cause it hurt even more then that of the regular person. She dont like the way grass felt on her foot.

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Nov 21, 2018
I am this kid.
by: Anonymous

I HATE socks and I am 28. Now I know that I have to wear them sometimes. I make sure that the seam is straight across my toes, but when I was a kid I had to wear them inside out and was the same way with my ballet tights. My mom thought I was crazy, but let me do it and that gave me the support and understanding of my body to figure out that my needs are important even if they arent like other peoples.

Underwear have always been a problem. Those cute lacy edged kid ones always felt like they were cutting into me and even the simple elastic was too harsh.I went through times where i did not wear underwear and that helped...until my pant seams were more bothersome.

For teens who need something other than a sports bra I recommend Gilligan O Mally from target. They don't have a clasp, the seams are smooth and the straps don't push on my shoulders. Gilligan O-mally also has a bunch of seamless underwear that I bought in bulk and hope they never stop making.

There is hope, and companies are becoming more aware about itchy tags and seams...but it still seems to be a long way off before we can just buy clothes that are sensory friendly without having to hunt them down.

Nov 03, 2018
by: Anonymous

2 of my daughters have this same issue.

My 13 year old started with the socks and pants issue at 3 years old. I did laundry daily so she could wear the same 2 outfits (never jeans) to preschool. I was late to work because there was never enough time to get her socks on. I was in tears then.

She goes to a school where she wears a uniform. The uniform seemed okay because it was a skort, but then learning proved difficult. What I later found took other kids 20 minutes to do homework took her 2 hours because of her frustration and anger. She behaved well in school and got good grades but teachers had no idea of our struggle at home.

She developed belly aches in second grade and they still haven’t gone away totally. We went to the doctor off and on for years and she was just constipated, but when she was throwing up daily for several days, we saw a specialist who said she has kids’ IBS and needs activity and fiber to regulate her digestive system. Our regular doctor recommended a counselor because maybe she was internalizing her feelings and causing belly aches.

Talking to the counselor led us to learning testing and strategies to deal with her frustration and anxiety. It also helped me communicate with her because I would get frustrated and we would end up yelling back and forth. I didn’t want that yelling environment and wanted to learn how to help her situation instead of add to it.

The counselor helped us talk normally without yelling.

We know she is sensitive to dairy, but she would rather eat ice cream and deal with the stomach cramps.

She wears seamless underwear, and socks are better. She still doesn’t wear jeans unless it’s ‘jean day’. She’s a leggings girl.

She has difficulty with reading comprehension but no official diagnosis and isn’t far enough behind to qualify for an IEP.

Not sure this is all related but looking back now, I realize her anger and defiance were probably related to her frustrations with how clothes feel, with her difficulty with learning, with her nervous anxious feelings that she just couldn’t verbalize (and still has challenges verbalizing), and with this belly ache because of all of it. I make a conscious effort to have extra patience and I warn them all when I am tired.

Round 2. My 8 year old still wears her same size 4 underwear because the new ones don’t feel right. She only wears fuzzy boots even in the summer, but she is able to tolerate her school uniform. It’s a fight to brush her hair. She is having explosive fits of anger.

Hopefully I’m equipped with my experience from round 1, but every kid is different.

I’m glad I found this site. I like to learn what other people are trying to do for it.

I’m wonder if OTs can help with these issues or if it would have to more be a behavioral counselor again for me to learn how to help her with her anger and frustration. One thing the counselor told me (when with my older one) is to not take away the little one’s blanket as a consequence because that’s what soothes her and calms her.

Here we go....

Feb 23, 2018
Underwear drama
by: Anonymous

My daughter is 9 1\2. The underwear drama has been killing me for 3 to 4 months now. She prefers dresses and skirts. Absolutely no jeans.

So glad I found this page. It proves that we are not just over stressed parents who thinks their child is doing this on purpose.

Read these articles to my daughter and she actually seemed to calm down quicker than the 2 hour drama dance!

Oct 14, 2016
Soft and Stylish Clothing for Girls
by: Anonymous

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Come check us out:

Please let me know if there's any product you would like to see on the website or if there's anything we need to improve on. We would really appreciate the help.

Thank you,

Jun 28, 2016
Sock battle
by: Anonymous

We are going through something similar it started when my daughter was 5 we could not put socks on her, we tried inside out, I would spend so much time in sock isles at stores feeling them trying to find soft socks with no strings, and even ordered the seem less socks online, still no luck! We had a fight daily and were late daily!

Now that it is flip flop weather she is not concentrated on her socks she has moved from leggings to shorts.. She will put on three to four pairs before she finds one. I have stacks of clothes she refuses to wear.. I am glad I found this post I seriously thought I was the only one with the sock battle..

Jun 17, 2016
Exhausted and Distraught - How can I help my little girl?
by: Bethanne

My daughter is now 7 1/2 and she has a twin sister. Her sensory issues have fluctuated from socks to underwear to jeans to shorts and now bathing suites!

She overcame the sock issue for awhile. I'm sure that will come back when fall comes again. Each season brings on a different set of senses. Now it's shorts and bathing suites (always underwear since about 4).

I had an OT look at her when she was about 3 and she did not seem have any concerns. She was a friend and it was unofficial testing. She is now being tested for other behaviors as well (defiant, explosive, angry, etc). I'm guessing this is all connected. She has one outfit that I bought from Target (one piece jumper) and I have three of them. She will alternate between them.

Oh, and she wore it in the pool as a bathing suit yesterday because her bathing suit did not feel right. Her sensory issues seem to be getting worse as she gets older. I get so frustrated and impatient with her because I don't know how to help her. Her twin sister had some of these issues earlier, but they have stopped and she will wear anything (except dresses).

Sep 26, 2015
im in the same boat
by: robin

my 5 year old daughter fights me about wearing underwear, I have tired every kind they have even boxers.. I'm at my wits end about it she willonly wear dresses and they cant be even close to her next and only thin strips, I can barley get her to shoes and socks... what have you done about it?. u can email me if you want to we can see what has worked would be nicwe to have someome else to talk to about this.

Aug 20, 2015
not alone
by: Anonymous

My daughter, who is now 11, has similar challenges with clothing. Try the brand trim fit socks - we found them at Kohl's. They are the only socks that are truly seamless, and my daughter still wears them inside out. But they have to be the plain ankle style - not fancy or the height of shoes - those are not seamless.

Underwear can be worn inside out also. Try different brands, but beware that packaged underwear can vary GREATLY in size within a single package - over an inch on the waist we found.

All kids grow into their own "style"...your child's style will just not be jeans. Neither is my daughter's. She lives in leggings or dresses in summer. Try Hanna Andersson livable leggings...they last forever. They are not tight like other leggings, so they can be worn with anything, not just under a long top or a skirt.

Try Hanna Andersson underwear too. Not inexpensive, but again they last forever. I find that my daughter wears what is comfortable - the same few articles over and over. So I have become ok with spending more on clothing that lasts, knowing that even if she has drawers full of options, she only wears a few things.

Aug 04, 2015
You're a GOOD Mom
by: Anonymous

Our daughter also struggled with shoes, socks, underwear and jeans, just as yours does. It was like this until she hit high school. Slowly she became acclimated to wearing underwear, they aren't the cutesy type of other 16 year old girls her age, but they're soft, not tight and no seams. Bras were also a horrible thing to go through.

But stick to your guns as the best one to know what's best for YOUR child. If people ask, just tell them you and your daughter have it worked out and it's between you and private (even to your best friends and relatives, it's not their business). Most kids don't outgrow the sensitivity as such, they become desensitized. Or the sensitivity shows up in a different area such as OCD, etc. But you tackle each hurdle as it comes, no sooner, no later.

The main thing to accomplish is her success and self-esteem to where you say, "it's okay to be you", you're accepted and loved as you are for who you are.

We wish you the best!

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