Revelation

by Alma
(New York)

So, this is what I have. Ever since I was young, I have avoided/been repulsed by certain senses. Mostly touch & sound. I refused to wear underwear for several years as a child & would only wear black leggings every day. I am very bothered by certain sounds (heavy breathing, mouth noises, mostly sounds made by humans but also dogs lapping up water) they make me feel very aggressive/violent.




I am now repulsed by anything to do with intimacy after being raped in my early 20's. My therapist says that my body remembers and that is why I am so repulsed. She says that my sensory sensitivity made the event even more traumatic. I agree.

I wish I did not feel this way; It is really hard for me but also my husband & children. I am not bothered by my kids touch most of the time. I am completely repulsed by my husbands touch. I feel so bad. I can not help it though.

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