Should I tell my sister that I think her son has autism?

by Michelle
(Cypress, TX)

My nephew is 6 years old and has atypical behavior. He doesn't look people in the eyes.

When you hug him, he doesn't hug back. He just stands there very stiff. He doesn't understand pretend play. Everything is literal to him.

He doesn't have any friends, because he has trouble relating to other children. Transitioning from one activity to the next is a struggle for him. He is clumsy too.

Right now his sister plays with him, but I worry about when he becomes a teenager. Kids can be so mean at that age. I have told her my concerns before, but my sister can be very passive about stuff. I know it is hard to hear that your child has a developmental disorder because my 3 year old has SPD.

Should I bring it up again or just drop it?

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Jun 19, 2018
I think you should
by: Anonymous

I would say yes, you should. More than likely it would help her out a lot, especially if that is her only child or she hasn't had a child with special needs before.

Honestly, she may not know what's going on on. She may know that something is different about her child, but she may need help from someone such as yourself who can pinpoint the issue.

This could really help your nephew if his mother gets help for him as early as possible.

My son has special needs. He was my first child and I had no previous experience with children. My sister, on the other hand, had 2 of her own that were young adults, she had worked as a teacher many years, plus helped out with her siblings.

One day, I was telling her about what I thought my son may have and she told me "I was going to tell you that I thought he had...." and at that moment, I thought how could she NOT say anything?!

I was wondering how long she had been thinking that and what stopped her. Maybe she thought I would get upset, but that is ridiculous. My son's health is more important than my feelings.

I really wish she would have said something right when she thought that, but instead I was on my own trying to make sense of my son's strange reactions and behaviors.

Even if we do get upset or get offensive, we will get over it and, more than likely in the end,the child will get what he or she needs.

May 20, 2018
Heartbroken sis
by: Anonymous

I have told my sis that I think her son has autism. I didn't want to say it but I'd been thinking it for a while and my little sis had also noticed the lack of eye contact distance etc

my little sis asked me to talk to my big sis about our concerns but I couldn't find the right words as it's such a sensitive subject. neither of us wanted to say anything for fear of her falling out with us. it's been so hard as we both felt awful discussing it behind her back and thought that if it was our child we would want to know ..

Having worked myself with children that have autism I could see the signs and had thought it before my little sis had said it one day it just all came out everything she was saying was what I was thinking but we were too scared to say it to our big sis .... I have just told my sis only yesterday and she has been crying on the phone to my mum and now I can't apologise enough.

I feel dreadful and haven't stopped crying too I didn't want to hurt my sis and I fear that she will distance herself from us now ... I really hope she doesn't. I love her so much and I want her to know that I will support her 100% as much as I can.

Nov 25, 2009
by: kim

My sister (who i don't get to see, except every couple years) knew my son had autism.
I asked 4 different Peds, what they thought and they all poopooed me. "He'll grow out of it"
Then he had a vaccine and he was gone for about 10 months. Lost. nothing....

But he was already rocking incessantly from when he could sit up,...... which was why i kept asking pediatricians if i should be concerned.

Well i got to see my sister finally, who had worked with autistic children. I was so happy to be with my family.
I noticed ( and clearly remember) her watching my son, as he rocked constantly and at that time,....... was gone...
I thought she was watching him because he looked so much like her son....
AFTER i got a diagnosis, i started to put ALOT of things together, and realized, SHE KNEW, but didn't tell me!!!
I guess she didn't want to be the bearer of bad news, BUT, I was still hurt that she didn't tell me.
I asked her.."you knew, didnt you?"
And she confessed, "didnt want to make a big deal", and she has ALOT on HER plate.

My point is, TELL HER!!
Print out info and just tell her to read it!!!
Thats what my cousin did for me, and to this day, i owe her big time,.... because of her telling me to read stuff, (she didnt actually tell me), she wanted me to realize it on my own,......... cool way to handle it!
Because of her, my son got into early intervention at 2.............
What a difference it has made in our lives.
He is now 5 and a half, still has alot of isues, BUT, i CANT IMAGINE, what he would be like now without all the help he got! He has aspergers and SPD. God love him!!!
I love the person that he is, i wouldn't change him, except for the things that cause him pain and anxiety.
BUT,... because of someone telling me, pointing me in the right direction, life will be ok!!!
Good luck, and God Bless you and your whole family, Kim

Nov 23, 2009
by: Anonymous


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