Touching as a child.

by Amber Jenkins
(Lexington, Park, MD)

As long as I could remember fun time with dad as he runs through the house tickling all the kids I'd run and hide from the fear of being touched. Instead of laughing I'd cry so hard I'd pee my self.

Now I'm older I still can't be touched. My SO understands this. If he touches me on my back really lightly I have pain like being electrocuted all over. Once he tried to tickle my feet in the beginning of our relationship and I kicked him in the face. I didn't do this on purpose.

I at age 12 was diagnosed with OCD. I could not have dirty hands. I still can't. I can't shake people hands nor can I hold my child's hand to walk. I hold their wrist.

I was diagnosed after school at age 19 with dyslexia. I can't be in an elevator. I will always take the steps. I am terrified of heights. I can't even get on a 2 step step ladder.

I go grocery shopping at midnight to avoid crowds. I have major anxiety attacks. I was told that I wasn't normal and that I was a freak accident. No one in the world is like me. When I seen this article I had a sense of belonging. I realized if this is up then someone is like me.

If there is a Facebook page or Twitter page that I can talk to people like me could you tell me? From the time I was 12 till today age 34 Ive always thought I was a freak of nature.

I keep my hair short so it won't lightly touch me and send pains through me. NO one crys at being tickled its not supposed to be painful.

My e mail is 4jenkies @ gmail . com if someone could tell me I'm not alone.