Washing my hands makes me want to break the sink. (ADHD, Irritable Depression, and SPD)

Washing my hands is a day ruining routine I avoid. My hands automatically clench up and I want to break the sink with them, only because pain feels a large deal better than the crawling sensation rubbing my palms together has. It helps that when my fists are closed I can feel a slight stinging sensation that covers the infuriating tingling that rubbing my palms together brings.

When I was younger, I'd keep my hands covered in dirt or mud so that my palms had enough friction to avoid the feeling. I can't run my hands across tough cloth or raised edges without wanting to punch a wall or the floor.

As a small note, I also dislike the feeling of lotion, I prefer if people touch me with their nails rather than their fingertips, I hate massage yet don't mind acupuncture, and rather have dull pain than annoying numbness. I'd very much like to stop biting my nails so I can't feel my annoyingly rounded fingers.

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