What about social fears?

by Mira
(NJ)

This checklist was helpful to me to an extent when considering my three-year-old son's social fears, but it did not cover the issues that my son's OT has attributed to sensory processing disorder: a strong fear of social situations involving peers and younger children. I thought anxiety in social situations, or at least hypersensitivity to general chaos, fit under this rubric. I do appreciate the checklist's thoroughness in other areas, but it would be great to have more depth under the "Social" heading. This section was so brief, and some key questions were so vaguely phrased, that as a result, the checklist did not really resolve any questions for me.



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Mar 31, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		My 2 y shocks when strangers are around
by: Miriam

I notice that my 2y girl freaks out when see strangers, or more than 3 people around her. She put her face in the floor and I can't get her up she don't move and start doing sad faces. She also have texture problems she can't touch anything with sand or rough superficie, when she fell down in grass she can't stand by herself she rise her hands and her feet because she don't like the sensation of it. She have strict routine. I'm getting her help, and the speech pathology said that could be SPD. I made several appointments like neurologist, OT, and Genetic specialist. I would do everything to help my princess. I hope you understand my writing, English is not my first language.
Aug 29, 2009
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starstarstarstarstar 		Can they have seizures
by: Anonymous

My 4 year old has been having seizures and Dr's told us he has a type of anxiety disorder that causes his body to sort of shut down when he gets into a situation he does not like. For example we went to pick up my older son from school and waited outside the classroom door. Where many others were standing waiting for there children. Well my younger son was holding my hand and just went down. The time before that we were walking and a lady came up to me to talk and my son went down. I am not sure if he thought the lady came to close or what happened. I thought when I walked out of the dr's office that she was crazy because she told me this and sent me on my way. I was CLUELESS!!!!! I guess this sort of thing does really happen. Now I feel a bit more informed but still not sure where to go.
Aug 24, 2009
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starstarstarstarstar 		Cont
by: Alisa

If I had to get milk and the routine said it was Game unit time there was no way I expect my oldest child to NOT have a melt down people saw it as a child making demands of me but I just accepted that he was going scream and if I was going to make him walk to the shop to get milk I would could not punish him I also never rewarded him with something out side of the routine. I would try to negotiate with him saying he could have extra Game Unit time if he tried his hardest.

Over a few years he started showing major improvement when I had to break the routine slightly. know longer need his routine to be as strict. If I had listen to all the people telling me that he was making the rules and I was giving in to him by not smacking him for screaming or just being agitated about the change in routine, I would never have made the progress I have with him.

His sister on the other hand got better the more he was no longer having melt downs. While I could control my behaviour my daughter has picked up a lot of bad behaviours from my son, and getting him not to respond to her negative behaviours is like banging my head against a wall. I use the word STOP 1000's of time a day some days. He does not know how to NOT talk I dared him to try to not speak for 5min one day just to get some quite and to see if money could make him shhhhhh lol he manage it but I could see him bursting to talk as if he was holding his breath If I had listen to all the people telling me that he was making the rules and I was giving in to him by not smacking him for screaming or just being agitated about the change in routine, I would never have made the progress I have with him.

His sister on the other hand got better the more he was no longer having melt downs. While I could control my behaviour my daughter has picked up a lot of bad behaviours from my son, and getting him not to respond to her negative behaviours is like banging my head against a wall. I use the word STOP 1000's of time a day some days. He does not know how to NOT talk I dared him to try to not speak for 5min one day just to get some quite and to see if money could make him shhhhhh lol he manage it but I could see him bursting to talk as if he was holding his breath.
Aug 24, 2009
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starstarstarstarstar 		Cont
by: Alisa

As a mum with a 4 kids with sensory disorders of different degrees and behaviours, I have been accused of being bad parent told to be stricter and ignore the negative behaviours. The more I did what I was told to do the worse my kids became. It was not till I took a step back watch my kids very carefully and sat back and tried to figure out what might be causing the behaviour and how I think I can help my kids, that I started to make progress with them.

I became less afraid of having a different parenting approach and more comfortable that I knew what my kids needed from me. I have a rare perspective cause I could see my kids doing behaviours that I did when I was there age so I thought about what I believe cause me to do that behaviour and started approaching the behaviour from a different angle. I Knew I was not going to beable to focus on all my kids negative behaviour so I choose a fuw behaviour problems to start focusing on. I let the other slide till I made progress with the one I was making progress with.

I'm not super women I cant fight every battle and as a parent if you get in to a battle you HAVE to win or your kids behaviour will get worse. The other big thing that make me know when I making progress on negative behaviour whether they be due to fright, flight, fight is that if the child gets worse it usually means your on the right track a child will test you to make sure you keep the boundaries clear for them. If the flare up of behaviour goes on for months or years and you've stood firm on the boundaries you set then as parent trust your self and look for a new approach.

I know I'm a firm parent with clear boundaries but for some reason traditional parenting tactics dont always work over all. It may solve one problem but cause 10 more. For example when I found out my oldest child had Asperger Syndrome I asked other parents how can I help my son and the things all the parents said was a STRICT routine. So I made a routine and I set times for everything and showed my kids a clock and taught them with 100% effort as positive this can work attitude and with in a week my oldest child had stopped having major melt downs. For my 3rd child with anger issues this just made her anger worse as a parent you really cant have one rule one child and another for the others and with an Aspergers child who's restrictive about keeping an even score its even harder.

My second child who just cried LOTS about strange things I started to notice she was also become restrictive. I lost my easy going child we always had a basic routine but with the knew routine I was far more aware that I had to follow it very strictly in order for it to have a positive effect.

Cont
Aug 24, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Sensory or Anxiety
by: Alisa

While Sensory disorders can lead in to Anxiety disorders I don't believe a person who develops Anxiety will not suddenly develop Sensory issues.
If your OT has made your childs Anxiety worse then I would be finding a new therapist who will go slower or just take a step back and see if there are sensory behaviours that are not being address or maybe your unknowingly some how rewarding a behaviour you dont want your child to be doing.
Cont

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