What do I do?

I am going to be 16 years old on September 16th.

I'm in 10th grade and attend public school, the same one I've been going to since kindergarten. I was a straight A student. When eighth and ninth grade, mainly ninth came around, my grades, my attendance, and other things started to go.

I've been asking my parents for a year of some other form of schooling so I can get things on track, but everything is happening so difficultly. They called the dean of my school, they just, really don't understand what I'm going through. I think I have Borderline Personality Disorder, but of course nobody else thinks so. This year, when I'm in class I just feel trapped, like I can't leave if I'm feeling like I just need to get away for a while.

I really need one year to get things on track, but how am I going to do this? Everyone has gone through so much trouble because of me already, and that's making me really sad. It's causing everyone issues, but I don't want it too.

My plan was in 11th grade to be back in the school, which is one year. Then I would be ready. I'm just kind of a mess right now, and I know some people would just say "toughen out," and "stick it out," but I just can't. I need it so bad.

Do you have any suggestions?

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Sep 05, 2008
by: Just a Mom

Wow! Let me first say that I am so impressed with your level of self awareness and how articulate you are. Do you suspect you have SPD? Or were you diagnosed by a doctor? It's really important however that you don't assume have a behavior disorder without a Doctor's evaluation or guidance.You sound very frustrated and a little lost right now. You also sound extremely intelligent and very much a young person learning how to deal with life.

If your parents seem unable to identify with how you are feeling that's o.k. because your lifes journey is unique, but that doesn't mean you should stop seeking answers or help. Most schools have counselors that can be very helpful as well as your family doctor. Part of growing up is taking responsibility for your own needs but also realizing it's o.k. to accept help of others.

Hang in there, everyday holds new possibilities believe it or not this experience however difficult or painful will give you strength of character and compassion for others. We all do our most significant growth when going through the hard stuff- don't judge it. Like most adults some of my most painful life experiences helped me become who I am and I honestly wouldn't change a thing.

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