What if the parents don't know?
After hearing of this disorder, I'm convinced that my 14-year-old niece has many of the symptoms. From the time she could speak, she has been super picky about what clothes and shoes she will wear, and what foods she will eat (only white foods, basically). She is a bright girl and her social skills seem okay, but she is totally resistant to new activities.
For example, she has refused for years to learn to ride a bike, which has been a real disappointment to her dad. My husband and I, along with my mother-in-law, try to ignore these behaviors because we have been assuming they are things she does to "control" her parents, and because we are embarrassed by the meltdowns that occur when her parents push her to try something new.
If she does have SPD but her symptoms are relatively mild compared with some described on this website, should my husband and I bring this up with her parents? We only see them once or twice a year, and we are afraid they will be offended if we suggest our niece has a "disorder." I wish I had known about this disorder a long time ago. It explains why she never wore any of the clothes we bought for her, never tried the skis we got her for Christmas, etc.
I am concerned about her lack of proper nutrition and exercise (she spends most of her time reading, watching TV and playing video games) but maybe the problem is bigger than that.