Wish I'd known sooner

by James
(Alaska)

I had extreme tactile defensiveness growing up (in the 90s); any dry, matte texture brushing against my skin was like nails on a chalkboard and would even make my teeth hurt! Unfortunately included among those textures were paper and the feeling of pencils (especially dull ones) rubbing against the paper.




As a kid I would always get my hands wet with water or spit in order to make the textures more bearable and it made it impossible to read what I was writing. Later on, I only used pens because they were smooth and didn't 'hurt' to use, but I got ink all over myself and everything else.

It made it extremely difficult to work because my assignments would either be unreadable, a horrible chore to push through, or in ink when I was supposed to use pencil. Nothing was ever done to really help me with this even though I described it constantly, I was often dismissed as being difficult and making up excuses.

I did very, very poorly throughout elementary school due to this and other OCD related issues and I feel like if it could have just been recognized, my life would have been able to go in a much more positive direction.

Oh yeah, and at 25 I've mostly grown out of it at this point.



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May 02, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Thank you
by: Anonymous

I'm 21 and have dealt with something similar all my life. I was also constantly dismissed growing up and no one has believed me about my problems. They certainly can't understand it. Paper and my own skin have always been the biggest problems. I always used spit, water, or something sticky growing up. I have only discovered in recent years how helpful some types of lotion can be.

I can't even touch my fingers together if my hands are in that "state" which usually occurs after getting my hands wet and letting them dry. It is really validating to read these posts because I finally know I'm not completely alone.

I can only hope that I can grow out of this, too. It just seems unattainable. It's so frustrating to be afraid to wash my hands or take a shower every. single. time.
Apr 10, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		So happy you shared
by: Anonymous

I think i can relate to this post. Im 34 and ever since i was a kid i hated the feel of paper ... just trying to write about this gives me goose bumps! The dry feeling on my fingers is so gross or watching someone rub there fingers on paper makes my whole body shiver.

My biggest enemy is card board but no one could ever understand it. I was always made fun of and at work i would be dismissed as if im lame... that i cant "come up with some better excuse." My sister in law would have to coat all my christmas gifts with wax.

I found this website trying to find symtoms of adhd for my son and it has made me realize there is alot to consider before heading to the doctors. Never would i have dreamed that maybe hes alot like me in ways and so happy im not alone with the paper/pencil/cardbord exc problem and its a real thing. Thank you. -LF

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