Aggressive, tantrums, attention, always turning cartwheels, anxiety

by leighann
(NC)

My 3 girls

My 3 girls

Hello,

I have twins that will be in kindergarten next week! they are night and day, but together can fit alot of these symptoms. I am having a harder time with McKenzie listening, arguing, tantrums, always wanting to make sure I am close by...constantly calling my name LOUDLY, always running or cartwheeling, fretful, fears dogs!!!!, worries alot, somewhat aggressive....with touch especially and one more thing very hard to calm down and get to sleep.....should i have her evaluated? her ped. said i could. is there anything until then that i could do to help me get along with her better.....i feel we are in constant tension
thanks
leighann

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Aug 16, 2009
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A child who is seeking out and maybe too much time with mom?
by: Anonymous

Hi,
Wow! This feels that I once have gone down this road before.

Well, you can start a journal. What causes her anxiety and frustrations? What causes the aggressive behavior and the touching not softy?

The anxiety: try telling the day of or just before of doing something. Our daughter gets anxiety going somewhere new, new teacher, who picking her up at school, routine not knowing(#1), seeing new people or not seeing family for a while (I tell my folks let her come to you) no forcing hugs or kisses.

The cartwheels could be a seeking out (upside down, the dizzy feeling, faster I go the better I feel) example of seeking out "Science Diet" movement not food diet.

Spinning on or in anything, jumping like frog or anything, squeezing body or things gives them tension / pressure then release makes them feel good. Sometimes my daughter squeezes me and does not relizes she is doing it hard. Outside swinging, jumping at high areas not wanting to be outside when hot, clothing issues, shoes / socks issue other things to look for.

Now the attention will happen with sensory or not sensory. With me being a twin yes there were times I didn't get my attention. But who didn't. But set some special time with each one. Try it, yet it will be hard at first, yet rewarding in the end. (Routine picture charts are great(use a three ring folder / fold in half. Picture with hole at top / loop thru the ring) yet it takes a couple of days for them to get the idea. Reward picking something out of a jar. (stickers, parachutes, animals, bugs, chalk, free push on swings, outdoor time, game time, cooking time.

Spending all day with mom can get the wrong attention she wants.Maybe she would do better if you had a babysitter once or twice a week for you to go out. When you get home and see you the next day maybe she will realize she had fun / missed you also. Being together all the time is not healthy for you and the kids. I'm learning to get a babysitter once in a while for my health.
LOve and Logic method of I will listen / pay attention when you do what is asked to do. No pay attention when not doing what you are asked to do.

The best advise for tantrums is ignore them, walk by them or if they follow go where they will not follow.

Good Luck and stick with it. Check out the list on SID. Don't forget to journal it helps with questions.
Fish

Aug 16, 2009
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Take care
by: Alisa

best thing I did and still do for kids is encourage good behavior being mindful of the sensory input they might be getting. Ignore negative behaviour especially if you believe its sensory related. Ask them to try to tell you what up set them and say mummy want to try to help make thing better for them. Just pay attention to there behaviours and try to figure out what may be causing them and make note and take them with you for the assessment it will help.

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