Finally... An answer!
My son is 4 and has SPD, I'm convinced of it. His neurologist has said he thought it's Aspergers, but I know it's not. He is such a classic case, scored a 16 on his ot/pt testing, a loner in preschool, puts everything in his mouth, chews all his nails to nubs, overeats to the point of us having to lock the pantry/fridge, screams if we park the cars differently in the driveway, cringes and cries at getting his hair cut, on and on.
When he was little he was obsessed with the wheels on things, still obsessed with overeating (which we are trying to make progress with and having great success with lately.
When he was a small toddler, if he saw a room full of toys, he was like a "starved" child in regards to stimulus. He couldn't touch all the toys fast enough-he looked crazed when we went on playdates.
He was a very late talker, and we have a private speech therapist that works miracles but he still has a "lazy" tongue but speaks beautifully now. I thought for the longest time he had some sort of autism. I've had really nasty things said in my former mom's group behind my back, like "she's just trying to find something wrong with him". People don't see what you see as a parent.
They don't know you have to cut the buttons out of shirts, they aren't there when you
have to wrestle your child to get his hair combed. You have to trust yourself and finally, I understand that I have a child without autism but with a different disorder, one that can be dealt with. I consider myself lucky.
I know lots of mom's would trade places with me in an instant because their child has something far worse. Everyone has quirks, but our kids have something beyond the norm. We will now search for therapies for our son so that when he begins school next year he will be better prepared.
It's been a long road here with lots of pain, frustrations, misdiagnosis and did I mention frustration. There were and are plenty of times I second guess myself, what parent doesn't. No mom wants to label their child as special needs but you have to put those feelings aside if you truly feel like there's something amiss.
God has given parents that "gut instinct" for a reason. People who don't understand don't live in your house and don't answer to your child. I won't be remiss and put his needs on the back burner. I see lots of kids who need help but don't get it.
I will do whatever I have to for my son. I brought him into this world and I answer only to him. I love him too much to ignore his needs even if it makes me a target for gossip.
Thanks for listening...