Frustrated when alone with child in public

by Kirsten
(North Charleston, SC)

I am the mother of a four year old boy with SPD. He was diagnosed in March of this year. It is very hard for me to take him places for any length of time that requires non-movement activities, such as church. He is only out in the sanctuary for about 30 minutes before being dismissed to children's church, but some Sundays it seems much longer than that. I need advice of how to keep him calm and somewhat focused when at church for this time. Thanks!

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Apr 06, 2012
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Grocery Store Hell
by: Shelli

I feel your pain. Thankfully, our church has children's services complete with "angels" who take care of kids with special needs.

I have a 6-year-old with SPD and twin 4-year-olds also with symptoms. I was forced to grocery shop with all of them yesterday as it was my husband's birthday and I needed ingredients for his special meal. They are too big to fit in the cart and I can't hold all their hands while I push the cart. They have to touch everyhing and don't seem to understand that we are not at the playground.

I was about to say "hello" to a woman when she said to me "Are those Shelli's kids?" I said that they were and, not recognizing me, she said "I thought so. They're brats!" and walked away in disgust.

I guess this is the way we are known around town and around school. I hope this site and the OT we will be getting can help us. We hope to be able to go to a real restaurant some day.

Mar 10, 2011
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Potty Training
by: Anonymous

My son is 4 and is not potty trained. He knows to go, but he does not care to go. He will take his pants off once he has a BM. I recently ordered on Potty training DVD's in hopes of getting him to go potty. Any other suggestions.
Thanks,
Evelyn

Mar 09, 2011
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Back off and give them lots of time to grow up!
by: Anonymous

My parents gave me advice for working with my son a few years back. It was the same thing they did for me as a little kid and it worked quite well. It is to just be patient, terribly patient and don't push too much too soon. Let them take all the time they need to grow up. Things will be a lot better by the time they get to be about 9 years old, they can handle things better by then. My son is 6 now, and still has some days that are such a frustrating challenge, those are the days he doesn't go to the store with me, or he can stay home from church if it will be too much. He doesn't have perfect school attendance, but his grades are great. Just do what you can with them, but DON"T SWEAT IT! It will all gradually get better in a few years.

Dec 22, 2010
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i understand my son is five with spd sensory seeker
by: Anonymous

I have problems taking my son to stores restaurants doctors parks and church. We changed churches this new church has us come at the latest service because there are less kids. The more kids the harder the time my son has. They also have a program for special needs. They have someone work one on one with him. Also his spio vest has helped. He does ot at the hospital and is going into developmental preschool. The thing I wonder about is that he is five and not potty trained. Seems he doesn't care to be wet or poopy.

Nov 17, 2010
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occupational therapist
by: Anonymous

Hello,

I am always searching for additional support for these special angels in our lives. These angels are all different despite same diagnosis. I recommend taking them to an occupational therapist who in tune with sensory integration disorders. They are trained to provide Sensory Diets to help parents cope.

Best Wishes:)

Nov 07, 2010
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Thank you!
by: Kirsten

Thanks to all who posted in reply to my frustration of that particular Sunday in church. I am slowly but surely learning how to work with my son to foster fun creative outings and how to avoid the meltdowns. I know that there will be more meltdowns as we learn this together. Also, I have recently conferenced with his teacher and was given some great strategies to help his neurotransmitters connect. One of the suggestions I am going to try are 1 lb. ankle weights to assist in keeping him grounded. Another great suggestion is to put him in compressing clothes such as exercise outfits. I will let you all know how these work.

Oct 31, 2010
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I feel ur pain
by: Robyn Atkins

My son is four years old and there are many many places I cant take him because he is so anxious and afraid of the unknown that he will vomit instantly if he isn't removed from the place immediately. He will vomit if strangers try and talk to him, if we go somewhere and he doesn't feel comfortable there he will vomit. It is very very frustrating and I get tired of people judging and giving advice on what they don't truly understand. He also puts his hands over his ears and is just now able to get on playground equipment but still is uneasy about playing with other children, especially if they have a loud voice or sing loudly.

Oct 16, 2010
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doctor and media
by: Anonymous

This is the classic behavior of a child with SPD.
us parents to take them to avoid certain places, especially because the disorder is little known and parents and children are regarded with discomfort. I speak to doctors and the media. Do not ignore this reality, but to spread the knowledge. Are appropriate and necessary treatment free for all children with SPD. whatever the cause of the disorder

Oct 15, 2010
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Frustrated with child in public
by: Anonymous

I have the same problem. My son is 3 and we just found out that he has SPD. I have changed churches only to have the same problem. No one wants to deal with him in church. I have to sit with him in the family lounge at church. It's not the same as being in the church service. So I get frustrated and decide to stay home with him when my husband works. I can use some advise as well.

Eagle Lake, Fl

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