Grandmother of 5 yo boy with SID

by Lisa Carroll
(Flagstaff, Az )

My grandson was diagnosed with SID and ADHD 2 yrs ago. Its been a lot of meetings with therapists, doctors, teachers etc, to get a good treatment plan going for my lil guy. One thing that is of great concern to me currently is that my daughter is going through a custody battle right now. My grandsons father decided after a year of being totally absent from his life, to reenter his life. He hasn't been involved with any of his treatment or therapy sessions until recently.


One of my grandsons issues is getting ready for school in the morning. Some days hes great. Gets himself dressed, brushes his teeth etc. Some days he fights getting dressed, wont brush his teeth wont put socks on etc. On these days which we never know are going to happen, we often get him to school a little late. I don't know about anyone else but when he refuses to get dressed, you put his pants on for him, he takes them off and on and on, its a nightmare. And impossible unless we finally get him to do it on his own, its not happening. Most times this just takes a little extra time and patience on our part and some creative communication.

The big worry is that his father (who thinks he knows it all cuz hes back in the picture ) is gathering up his attendance record to show to the judge to make it look like his mother is irresponsible because he gets to school late at times. We would like to know if anyone else out there with a child with SID ever has difficulties like this and can let us know so we can show the judge that this is not an uncommon issue when you have a child with this disorder. My grandson is the most wonderful, loving, smart, funny little boy I know and I only want what is best for him. And that is to stay with his mother who has always been there for him and has done a wonderful job seeing that he is getting the appropriate care. We would like any input anyone out there can give. Thank you to all

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Apr 22, 2012
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Divorced Mom
by: Anonymous

I too have had problems getting my son dressed in the mornings and baths of the evening. I am a divorced mother, now remarried. I have problems with my ex-husband. When problems first arised with my son and I took him to get MRI's and an EEG, I informed my ex about what was going on and he told me that I was doing it because I wanted to get my son proved disabled so that I could get Social Security from him. I completely understand why a mother does not want to let the father know about some of the medical issues.

I agree with some of the others, get a diagnoses and so statements from others. I hope everything goes well for you and your daughter in court. I know what kind of battle that can be.

Dec 30, 2011
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same problem with getting dressed!
by: Anonymous

I have to say how comforting it is to know that there are others out there with the exact same issues. only those who have witnessed SID know what we go through on a daily/weekly and lifelong basis. wow. my 6yr old daughter battles almost every day with underwear, pants, socks, bathing suits, and shoes since she was 4yrs old. I have to prepare myself for the battle and if we need to be somewhere at a certain time- it doesnt go well. I losing my temper and forcing her clothes on and her crying, frustrated, pulling off the clothes, and finally- sorry & exhausted. its awful. I usually need to allow her to wear the same jogging pants over and over. Once an outfit is on, we're good! Whatever she said bothered her is gone. She'll even 'like' the new pants or shirt that were forced on. But the next time, its all over again. and then the miraculous getting ready perfectly one day to fool me into thinking she's cured herself only to start the cycle again a few weeks or months later. I will definitely be looking for further advice.

Dec 13, 2011
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Dear Grandmother:
by: Anonymous

I too am the grandmother of a 5 year old grandson who has recently been diagnosed with SID. I have had several conversations with his mom who I care for deeply and know that she is trying her best to raise him and his older brother. My concern is his father, my son, is absent a lot having remarried and "new life" of his own, new career in which he and his wife travel a lot. He is not always involved in his sons life on a regular basis for reasons I have not yet learned as he doesn't want to talk about it. In fact the mom says he won't talk with her at all except in texting and only about where and when to meet to pick up the boy when he does take him. They live in the same county. I know my story resembles yours in that she is not getting any emotional support from his father..but this is her choice.

She has neglected to inform him of his current diagnosis, treatment options, plans etc. She does not want him to be involved in this at all nor of the fact that she just had surgery which incapacitated her for a few days when she could have used my son's help. He, being the missing link here (somewhat of his choice, some hers) has no idea. I tried to get her to tell him as I feel they both should be involved with the care of their child. Is your daughter in any way discouraging the father to not be involved ie, does he know all that's going on? Your daughter and my son are both adults, their children need their help from both parents.

I hope that their is some way both of these little families can work things out. And maybe there will be some way of getting emotional support for you and I too. It is not easy for any of us. Most of all parents need to hold each other accountable, they made these children together...they have a little life that they are responsible for.. together! These children should always come first and hopefully you and I will learn about this SID, as well as other family members,so we have happy little boys that we can understand! God bless you and your family. Cindy

Dec 09, 2011
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agreed.
by: Anonymous

i think the previous post is exactly what you need, a written statement that indicates the challenge that you have mentioned. and i would gather as many of them from different people that you are working with, as possible. good luck.

Dec 09, 2011
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problems
by: Anonymous

Dear Lisa I'm sorry for your problems. I think your grandson's behavior is caused by SPD, at least that's my experience. On the problem of unfair accusations that your daughter suffers from ex-husband Ask a child psychiatrist and get to make a statement of the problems that your nephew. and for which your daughter is not to blame.

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