I thought I was just weird or "slow"

by cassie
(nashville, tn)

I once had an interview sitting near a sales floor where it was noisy and music was playing and my boss asked me a question and I stalled for so long because I had to keep processing and turning over the question in my mind, over and over again until it finally clicked what he was asking and then it took me another moment or two to process an answer for him! I thought I had lost the job because he looked at me like I was dumb, but the truth was, that all the noise and music was distracting so some of his words got lost in the noise and I had to take a moment to fill in the blanks and understand him.

This happens to me all the time, not everyday, but in most situations. People will talk to me or tell me a story and my brain will keep trying to listen to other noises or stop hearing what they are saying even so I don't always have a reply to what someone has said, and don't contribute to conversation very well. But usually once the awkward silence hits, that's when I have my moment to process and understand and REALLY hear what said, than my dumb brain finally has a good response, but it's usually too late haha.

I'm also very very forgetful because if I don't allow a task or direction to be fully absorbed in my mind or say it out loud, than it becomes muddled in my thoughts or even completely forgotten almost immediately.

This has been so helpful! I'm not dumb!