Is it choice

by Kelly

Please tell me why my child has such issues with such things as putting on uniform in the morning and have such intense meltdowns at thirteen that are now turning violent and yet return home from school and remain with her uniform on quite happily.




This is causing doubt of sensory issues with the professionals involved in our lives now due to the violence, I think they are trying to say my daughter can pik and choose and can indeed control her behavior, please help as I cannot accept this



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Jul 03, 2022
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starstarstarstarstar 		It's NOT a choice!
by: Anonymous

I had to respond to this because as a mom of a child with SPD and on the Spectrum, I want to assure you that sensory issues are never a choice!!!

I know that it is difficult for people looking in from the outside to understand, but it is crucial that we show our children that we believe them and give them the understanding and compassion because they need a safe place (home to start..) where they can truly express what is bothering them and how to cope through these sensory challenges.

I believe the wearing her uniform fine at home may be due to home being her 'safe place' and also sensory issues can change from day to day and even hour to hour. A lot depends on other sensory things that may be going on around her.

For example, school is total sensory overload much of the time. (Think, smells, lots and lots of constant sounds, brightness and overload of visuals, and even feeling confined with so many other people for so many hours at a time) Whereas at home, there are less overstimulating sensory stimuli. And there are more secure safe places to go when feeling overwhelmed. (finding a quiet place to regulate or get movement is key).

I hope this helps and don't give up on explaining to the school or other people to help them understand that sensory issues are not a choice--but, are always there, but just at varying levels and a matter of learning to cope and accommodate to help in different situations.

I know that there is finally more information about SPD being spread through social media, I am hoping that this means more understanding and compassion for our kiddos out there in the world!! I wish you the best.
Jun 02, 2022
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starstarstarstarstar 		It's because they've worn it for awhile
by: Anonymous

Disclaimer: I'm autistic as opposed to having spd.

The problem with clothes is that when you first put new ones on, they are, well, new. They aren't your body temperature, they aren't your smell, they just flat out aren't what you're used to. It's like getting in a car that you've never driven before, or using a computer with a different operating system.

Also, if they take showers/baths in the morning, their skin has probably dried out making the feeling even worse. Unfortunately, I don't really have any advice other than to fire any so called "professionals" that don't understand this in the first place.
Feb 15, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Stressors
by: Anonymous

My 6 year old with SPD is the same way in regards to clothing. I believe his "inconsistencies" are due to his dificulties with change in general & also his general stress levels. The less stress the less complaints. Mornings are rushed. Weekends if we take our time & aproach it in a supportive manner he is more likely to put fresh clothes on.

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