Is this me?

by Michelle
(Colorado)

I am in my 40's and I just today heard the expression "Sensory Issues" in reference to disliking the feel of something. I googled it, because I'd never heard of anyone other than myself who is unable to touch certain items or be touched without adverse reaction. I scored very high on the checklist for SPD, 5's on at least half the items on the list.

My family, friends, and significant others have never been able to understand (nor have I, for that matter) why I cannot stand to have my bare skin touched or stroked lightly. The sensation sends me through the roof. It truly feels like I'm being burned, shocked, and tickled all at the same time. I can't count the number of times I've hurt someone's feelings when I have to explain that I don't like certain types of touch, especially gentle caressing, cuddling, or tickling. I enjoy sex, but have a strong dislike for tender sexual foreplay, and about 99% of the time my involuntary reactions to it (swatting hands away, thrashing/kicking) is misinterpreted as rejection.

I hate crowds and being brushed, bumped, jostled by others. I cannot imagine having a pedicure or manicure, as the mere thought of it makes me dizzy with repulsion. I can barely stand to groom my own cuticles. I cannot use regular American toothpastes, mints, mouthwashes because they make my mouth burn painfully, sometimes for over an hour. I use European dental products because they're made with milder flavorings. I cannot touch dirty or dusty cotton fabric, such as shoelaces, caps, oilcloth, canvas, etc., without great effort and anxiety. Then I feel compelled to wash my hands repeatedly after touching until the memory of the sensation fades.

I do not like eating anything remotely gelatinous. If I see food or thickened sauces "jiggle" on my plate I'll barely be able to look at it, let alone put it in my mouth and swallow it. I am very sensitive to smells. While some odors that others find offensive (like BO or skunks) do not bother me that much, others do. I can smell even tiny amounts of blood and even ozone. When I mention that, people think it's crazy. I cannot view movies in theaters any more because the sound is so loud it hurts my ears. I could go on and on, but I think many of you can relate somewhat. I just thought I was alone in the world until today. Friends and family often call me "quirky" and sometimes laugh when I'd describe my reactions to such things.

Anyway it's nice to know I'm not alone in the world.