It's not easy being me :-(

by Nina
(New York State)

I'm a highly creative and sometimes very energetic 38 year old who for the life of me can't hold a job. I could do things in my 20's that are unthinkable now because I can't trust my body or mind. The worst part is that nobody believes me when I try to explain to them what it's like being so sensitive and how I quickly burn out at every job I have.

I thrive living by myself but can't afford to and get so burnt out and overloaded by the chaos in the house around me.

I take Cymbalta for the anxiety attacks and Clonopin so I can sleep.

Some days I function like a normal person (though I usually have to battle fatigue and sensory overload no matter what) and other days I wake up and I'm in some strange world that I can't control. I lose my balance, I bump into things, I can't think straight (brain freeze), I can't understand what someone just said to me etc. I need a lot of harmony and simplicity to make my life work right but such luxuries are elusive. I always have ear plugs with me because I'm so very sensitive to noise. People know I'm different and weird and often anti-social. I get painfully squirmy sitting through a lecture. I have a hard time maintaining relationships because I need so much alone time.