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by Kay Dickerson
(Plainfield , Il , usa)

My daughter 11 years old . She seems to have some of these symptoms. She refuses to wear t-shirts and jeans . she will put liquid hand soap , body wash or shampoo and lotion on under her clothes. This causes her to get chemical burns . I have to hide them from her . She hates clothing. I have to let her feel every item of clothing I buy for her. I hate this disorder . I cannot find clothing that satisfies her needs . She is now into juniors clothes . And does not wear all of the clothing in her closet. I need help for her.

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Apr 08, 2010
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more about my 11 yo DD
by: DebbieKinIL

We have a routine with new clothes. My DD must wear new or replacement clothes 3 times for 10-15 minutes before the tags come off. This is called habitation- if my DD can desensitize for the 3 times, then the tags come off and we keep the clothes. A great sign is when my DD comes home and wants to wear the clothes item and wears it right away. I let her do this, even if it is the wrong time of day or season.

Also when we shop we have a "list" and try to stick to it. As I mentioned before, my DD has a terrible time finding pants, but tops, she will buy all day long. So we have the "list". She must try on pants before looking at or trying on tops. She has to show me how the pants look on her (she'll try to fool me that into believing that some ill fitting, scratchy jeans are comfortable just to get to try one new tops) and I cooly ask questions that make her think about how she can or cannot wear the pants.

We also have a time limit on clothes shopping and the minute my DD is starting to get upset or grouchy when trying on clothes I say let's go or just 4 more minutes. As my DD got older, she realized that she did not have to buy pants, just to be buying pants. She has slowly and is learning not to get frustrated with her sensitivity.

This year my DD had her ears pierced. Really a gigantic step for her. Now she can dress or change her style by changing earrings. I don't get upset if she changes them many times a day- this distracts her from not being able to have a closet full of clothes that she is able to wear.

Also- does your DD like nail polish? My DD does- and it is another outlet for her changing her style but not her clothes.

And we have talked about how to respond when kids have questions on why she wears only a few tops, pants, or leotards as underwear. My DD now simply says that she has a clothes sensitivity- and most kids then make no big deal and move on.

Lastly, I work to understand that my DD needs to change into her comfy clothes for relaxation. My DD is controlling her sensitivity all day long at school. I feel at home she can relax (if she needs to) by changing into her comfy nightgown. This garment barely touches her. I can tell if the day was stressful- she comes in and wants to change immediately. If there is nothing going on, I say OK.

Apr 08, 2010
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Don't Give Up
by: DebbieKinIL

My DD is 11 and has clothes sensitivity is part of her SPD. She loves clothes, especially cool jeans. She cannot wear them. She has to have very high top pants with wide waistbands and wears a leotard under her clothes as underwear, because she is so sensitive on her stomach.

We are at the top size limit at Justice and I know that facing Junior sizes will be tough.

My motto is be very cool about anything clothes with my DD. No big deal if she doesn't want to do a PJ day at school (cause her comfy nightgown is so old and worn it looks like a rag). I just say OK and go on to the next thing.

Try on the types and brands of clothes that your daughter can tolerate. We call these clothes comfy styles. The best thing is about this age is that your daughter can tell you when the clothes feel alright. Then stick to this style and brand.
I know, I know, your daughter will want to buy other stuff that she cannot desensitize too,. I just say- go ahead and try it on, when this happens to my DD. Once she feels the clothes on- I know or hope that she will decided if she can tolerate the new style or brand.

If we do buy stuff that my DD can not desensitize too, we take it back. I keep all clothes receipts for years! Really at Justice, they know me, cause I bring the stuff back so often. Once I brought back all 12 items from one receipt-LOL.

Apr 07, 2010
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so much sympathy ... breathe
by: mary

I'm so sorry your going through this ... my daughter has fallen asleep in her own bed (she is 4 and still sleeps with us every night so this is very odd), crying, naked for the last 4 nights in a row and is in there as i type because she wants to wear a nightgown and no underwear. she also absolutely hates it when i comb her hair - that however we can get through. i also HATE this disorder. it can just be so exhausting and i feel it puts a wedge between us... which i hate we are SOOO close.

I'm not sure if you feel the same way but i can't say i'm sorry enough ... let's just hope we can both get through it... i myself hated clothes and wouldn't wear socks and actually purposely wore my reg. underwear with a wedge because it felt better, i had 2 pairs of pants i would wear and that was it, back then it was just i was being a brat and was difficult but now thankfully we know better, to this day i still can spend an entire day in the mall looking for something to wear and not find anything that feels good.

The only store i like is American eagle ... maybe you can try that for your daughter, their clothes feel softer to me and the seams are better and the jeans are flawless!!! -- and it's all really reasonably priced, but like i said i still have habits that i never noticed before with clothes--i won't wear turtle necks (i feel chocked and itchy and it hurts) i won't wear socks - my family makes fun of me all the time for wearing flip flops in 6 feet of snow, and if i come in from food shopping i will change into my pjs while i put the stuff away and then change back 10 mins later to go back out to target. so with all this said you would think it would be easier for me to understand where my daughter is coming from but i see it as i got through it and it's just became a way of life ... why can't she???

I hope your daughter finds some brand that makes her happy i know it took me until high school to find american eagle, and we are still searching for my daughter's signature brand!!!! just breathe and remember to enjoy her and always tell her you love her even when your at your maddest.... unconditional love at it finest right???? lol.

good luck and much sympathy!!!!!!!!!!!!

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