My 4 year old son was just diagnosed with SPD

by Melissa Copestake
(Philadelphia, PA)

For the past three years I have had a very hard time understanding why my son does some of the things that he does. The daycare he attends has been wanting me to get help for him for the past few years.


As a mother, I had a very hard time accepting the fact that maybe something was wrong and was just in denial. I regret that, because i wish i could have gotten him help sooner. I feel like we just keep getting pushed to the next person and that is even more frustrating.

My son is very intelligent and started speaking very well at a young age. My son is very hyper, aggressive and angry for no reason. He is touchy, constantly touching everything and everyone.

Everything I try to do for him is extremely hard whether it is making sure he eats, bathing him, brushing his teeth and especially bed time. He gets frustrated very easily and acts out in anyway he can.

I don't think he realizes how strong he is but at least once a day he is in the office at the daycare for getting physical with another child. He doesn't sit still for long and prefers rough play almost all the time. He even tends to try to hurt himself whether it is throwing himself into someone or smacking himself in the face. In the past month, he started putting everything in his mouth, eats his shirt and tends to lick everything that he can.

I think he understands something is not right. He tells me his brain is stupid and says sometimes that he can not control himself. He sometimes get depressed for no reason and will begin crying out of nowhere and sometimes he will begin to laugh for no apparent reason.

He tends to be very loud and will scream or shout out things at inappropriate times for no apparent reason.

He is a very loving child and enjoys playing with other kids but sometimes, well most of the time kids have a hard time being around him because of the way he acts and they can not understand that.

He now hates to go to school and begs me everyday not to send him. He thinks about it all the time by asking me over and over again "Do I have school tomorrow?" to the point where it makes him very anxious. I have been with this center for over 11 years with my older son and I know his teachers and they care a lot about my child. He just doesn't want to be there anymore.

His teachers tell me even though he is very intelligent, he will have a hard time because he will not sit still for story time or learning time and he is constantly getting into things.

I just want to get help for my son but unfortunately is seems like everywhere I go I am getting sent somewhere else. I took him to ELWYN for an evaluation where he was diagnosed with SPD they sent me to SPIN (Special People in the Northeast) where they send an occupational therapist to the daycare for 40 mins once a week. My son needs more than this.

Tomorrow night I have a appt. with a therapist at the Growth Opportunity Center but this has been ongoing for the past year and i don't seem to be getting anywhere.

My biggest fear is next year he will go to kindergarten and will be "labeled" by both teachers and peers and I only want the best for my son. If i can get him help now, maybe the struggle won't be so bad.

If anyone has any information that can help me - my e-mail address is melissa.copestake@courts.phila.gov.

Thanks so much.





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Aug 24, 2016
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My boy's story
by: Anonymous

I completely understand you. I have been stay at home mom with both of my kids. Girl and a boy 15 months apart. However I always had to worry about my son who is the older one then my daughter around other children. We took him to therapists, and even neurologists and they said he is fine. He will outgrow it.

Well it was at the age of 3 to 4.5 years. Nothing was changing. Also my boy loved spinning for as long as I let him and never got dizzy. But one day I was able to show/scare him that every time he spins his brain breaks and soon he won't be able to play and build legos (his favorite).I got so tiered that no one saw that there is something wrong with my child.

He also had developed asthma. So I did GAPS diet for him, that was misery because he was extremely picky eater. But a year later he ate every vegetable imaginable and his behavior changed a lot. Asthma was gone. He became less aggressive. But he still couldn't focus at school(kindergarten).

So I started researching and found Diane Craft book "Brain Integration Manual" and later Robert Melillo "Disconnected Kids". That was a great mind opening experience. I began homeschooling him and with do it yourself therapy by Diane Craft that is for kids with sensory problems and brain blockages.

A year later we made a huge progress. He focuses a lot more when I read or talk to him. He comprehends because he pays attention from start to end. Every child is talented and smart you just need to find the best way for them to learn. Both of my kids completely different learners.Library and internet has many great sources to learn about your child and how to help him/her. Just keep digging. Hope that helps.

Aug 05, 2016
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good old fashioned discipline
by: Anonymous

Dearest moms, I have had mu daughter in law, two yr. old , and 3yr. old grandchildren with me for two months now. I love them, and I will miss them, when they are gone. They will be gone in 3 weeks. My son was out of work, and thank God, he has secured employment. The thing is, it has been very hard for me to keep my mouth shut.

At the time, my DIL is, "making the kids apologize, when they do something wrong.For instance, if the two yr. old boy hits his sister, or the dog, she says, "go say you are sorry." And he will walk up to whoever he is apologizing to and say that he is sorry. Well....it isnt working at all! What happened to a swat (or two) on the butt, let them cry, for longer than 2 seconds, and then try telling them why you did what you did.

When the two yr. old (literally) screams, she immediately runs to him, and says what is it? What do you want? What can Mom do? It is making me sick to my stomach, because a two yr. old is running the house. Most importantly, she is teaching him things that will one day get him in trouble. Children can not rule the roost! They have to be taught, that the world does not revolve around them. When a child gets a couple of whacks, on his butt, and then you let him cry LONG enough to think about what he has done.....he (or she) will learn.

Picking them up, right after they start crying, and saying," Mom loves you, and I spanked you to teach you that you dont do that. And then smothering him with kisses; well that isnt going to work! Let him cry it out! Give him time to think about what he did. Otherwise you are creating a little monster, who is going to grow up thinking the world owes him something, and everyone is here to cater to him! Just sayin'!

Aug 04, 2016
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SPD
by: Mothershiplanding.com

Hi. I know the frustration and helplessness you feel. We have the same issue with our 4 year old daughter whom was diagnosed at age 3 due to behaviors such as problem eating, bedtime and temper tantrums as well as anger and frustration.

Were trying OT and Speech therapy as her speach has been a concern for a long while now. What concerns me is that there doesn't appear to be enough understanding about this SPD or SID and I think it leaves us parents in a very stressful predicament as like my concern, How doe we get through to our children to help them either cope, de-stress or understand reasoning.

Jul 07, 2016
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things that have helped my son...
by: Anonymous

My 8 yr old also has SPD, not major but enough to cause some issues. I have eliminated most dairy..working on the cheese and try to avoid food dyes and processed foods...i think this helps his behavior(can't sit still and can be too rough)..also i think he is positive for the gene mutation MTHFR as I am so I try to avoid too much folic acid...and give him a methyl form of vitamin B12 and methyl folate.


He does seem to have anxiety issues. but things are slowly improving...he is a sensory seeker meaning he likes pressure or strong physical hugs..so i made him a weighted blanket for his bed...and also have a homeopathic remedy for allergies (trees/dust etc) and I got a hepa filter for the house...as i notice if he sleeps better without his mouth open he seems more rested...

also the nd gave him a homeopathic remedy called stramonium

I also put magnesium oil on my kids feet before bed and give them epsom salt baths....

Jun 14, 2016
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Response
by: Anonymous

To the mother of the 5 year old who was diagnosed with autism, but you also think it can be more... I would recommend you look into a therapy agency that provides neurofeedback / biofeedback in combination with medication management (since it sounds like he is very severe with impulse control and the like) and ABA therapy. You do not have to spank for discipline, but find things that you can use for immediate consequence like removing a toy he likes, and giving it back when corrects behavior. Will take time, modeling, and definitely all the extra services you can locate for him.maybe a support group for yourself for parents with children with autism...

May 20, 2016
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Please help my son
by: Anonymous

My son when ever he gets hurt he close his eyes puts his hands on his head and just runs some times runs in to things he don't see what he is running in to becousre he close his eyes

May 06, 2016
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Good site for SPD info
by: Anonymous

For some really good info on SPD,

Checkout this Facebook site:

https://www.facebook.com/sensoryprocessingdisorder/

May 06, 2016
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Autism and epilepsy
by: Anonymous

Hope you got more help for him Melissa. I have found that it is the anxiety that causes everything else and also understanding the social situations that he will find himself in. I am not a professional but I think he would benefit from therapy that focuses on how to recognise and deal with anxiety and also apparently social stories are very good. We were unaware of all of this and my daughter is now in secondary school and is having a horrendous time because it wasn't addressed earlier. All he needs is coping strategies.

For the lady that mentioned about seizures and behaviour. I am not sure if you are aware that there is evidence to suggest that there are common links between autism and epilepsy. Dr. Judith Gould from the Lorna Wing Centre specialises in autism and girls and how they present differently but unfortunately get misdiagnosed or underdiagnosed. Hope this info helps x

Mar 21, 2016
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my three year old grandbaby.
by: Anonymous

My 3 year old grand baby have seizures she is on medication for the seizures I'm having problems with her behavior in daycare they say age is very hyperactive and don't sit still what can I do I try to punish her but it doesn't help every day the daycare is complaining about her behavior I don't know what to do is it because she has seizures and it makes her hyperactive.

Feb 02, 2016
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pray for him!!
by: Anonymous

You need to put hands on your son and pray. Bless him with holy water everyday in the name of the father, son and holy spirit. Weather you believe or don't, there are spiritual entities after your son out to steal, kill and destroy him!!! Fight for him. He is vulnerable. Most traditional psychiatrists won't address the spiritual war against your child. Pray. Get to the holiest people you know and all pray together. Your son needs to be delivered from evil. The devil holds no prejudice on age and attacks vulnerable children.

Nov 22, 2015
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please please help
by: Anonymous

My son is 5 years old. He was diagnosed with autism however i cant help but think there is more. He is constantly attacking me and his siblings by biting, hitting, kicking and throwing things.

I have twin newborns and he has hit one of them and when i said that hurt and told him no thats not nice and removed him he laughed at me. He runs from me like its a game and i cant drive in the car with him as he attempts to hit the babies and he is all over the car and wont sit down and throws things. He is acting out at school constantly by biting hitting and kicking. He hurts himself too by hitting his head on walls, scratching his face and biting himself and he laughs the whole time. I try to talk to him during all of this and he wont calm down enough to listen.

He is getting worse he is starting to attack me out of pure angle and is breaking my skin when biting me and when i say ow that hurts he does it again and says good. This is very scary behavior to live with. Im scared of him. He has choked me when carrying him out of school one time and looked at me in the eyes and i saw pure anger. He gets so mad when he doesnt get what he wants im afraid to say no but i know im the adult.

Im afraid for my other kids and i have tried to get him hospitalized and there were no beds. His psychiatrist basically said he cant treat him because hes to severe but wont help me hospitalize him. His new psychiatrist which i was referred to by the old one was talking to me about possession for the first hour However did change his meds but they aren't working. He doesnt sleep and sings creepy songs all night long and growls at me and all my family saying hes going to kill us. Wtf is wrong with my 5 year old.

He used to be a sweet little boy and now his school is acting like im not disciplining him enough and when i tried to hospitalize him the lady said i need to be stricter and discipline him. Well i dont believe in spanking and im not beating my son so screw them. Please someone help. Im so lost. I want my baby boy back to his sweet self.

Nov 22, 2015
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Anger and frustration
by: Helen Hine

My boy has just turned 6 and from what you said, it's like I'm being told Bout my son.
You done a good job to explain as it's hard when ur used to living with it.

I work in care with Autism and behaviour so from one day to the next it seems normal, but he's my only child and I dnt see other people battle with their kids as much as I feel I do.

My boy tells me he loves me all the time, but also will often say hurtful things and act out to get a reaction.

When he was 3 he tried to attack me with a screwdriver and when he was 4 he talked a lot about cutting family up into pieces, twice he went to push me down stairs and that's from a loving hug in the bedroom, very strange.
If friends come over and I say 11 and they arrived at 10 past, I'm nothing but a lier an I lie all the time

He always needs facts and figures and always butts in to adult conversations and all the time wants to know definitions of words which even as a adult it's hard to explain, he gets so frustrated, he has a melt down every time we get into bed about nothing, and always challenged authority.

He's good at school but can't wait his turn and gets upset as he wants to control everything, and last year as he had a big birthday party and other kids were coming we got anxious and hit 5 kids over a 2 day period.

He never has since but he's better of knowing about going on a day out or to the fair a he just losses control.

He's so head strong and refused to get in the car is he wants to ride his bike and twice has tried getting out of the car and once kicked me while driving and the cd player, took him over a year to accept if i need to pop to the shop after school, he likes to just go straight home and doesn't like change, he is now better in this area. He will also put his thumb up at me and my natural response is to say alright mate, then he has a huge fit because I didn't copy what he done and likes to control everyone's actions,

Also can't wait for food, I come across something called PSD I think it was, ill have to look bk at it, but he also can tell spanish polish and french languages could count to 300 by the age of 3 and his maths is of a 10 year olds.

He's smart but he has another appointment Thursday, they think he may be going through the change as he gets nipple pain and has a feel voice And hairy toes legs and hairs on his balls, but not thick. But it is so draining, he spent a hour on a melt down because he wanted to know how many minutes in a village and how many mph does his hand move, it's stuff I can't answer and even if I make it up its still not good enough,
He has funny ticks at times but not sure if it is or not, it's like he will sit in ws wmberly and screw his face up often for no reason and has a habit of burping and sniffing when in bed, he does struggle at night and seems to have mini muscular contractions and I wondered of the suspected night time epilepsy may have something to do with his random impulsive and erratic behaviour.

Although he tells me 30 times a day he loves me and is always kissing me, he also wells me he wishes he could find a big man to kill me or hurry up and die of asthma, I know he doesn't mean it, and it's not often he says nasty things, but there must be a reason behind it.

In some kind of way it was refreshing to hear what you were saying as I feel there are other people going through te same. Be great to keep in touch or exchange numbers, and ill look for that information I found online x all the best my name is Helen Hine, that goes for anyone reading this post.

Your welcome to add me on Facebook if you wish, it's me and my son in my pic


Sep 17, 2015
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Mom at lost
by: Anonymous

I'm at lost! I don't know what is wrong with my son. I had him checked with a developmental pediatrician when he was 3 years old and she said that my son does not have autism but behavioral problem. He was kicked out of school when he was in KG2 because even when he was in KG1, The school was constantly complaining to us that my son was hyperactive. He does not sit in class, shouts a lot, disrupt the class, does not follow his teachers and pee on his pants. I had to search for another school after the school already starts because they don't want to accept my son anymore. His new school had the same complaints.

Now, he is almost 6 years old and in grade 1 in another new school ( 3 schools now) It's been almost 2 weeks since he started grade 1 and the school supervisor and the teachers complaints about his behavior. Same stories, shouts a lot, does not follow and listen to the teachers, removes his pants infront of the class coz he wanted to pee and singing while the teacher is teaching them. We also had him check with a neurologist and had MRI brain scan. the doctor said that his brain is normal. He prescribed him Depakene syrup that needs to be taken twice a day in 150ml for almost 2 months now but nothing changes. I don't know what to do. My son is very sweet and loving but when he gets upset he gets very very angry and shouts too much. He also sometime wets his bed if I didn't able to wake him up to pee in the night.

I have a daughter who is a total opposite of my son. I never had a problem with her. I also had him check with another doctor and he said my son had ADHD. Another doctor said that my son cannot cope up in class and aggressive because his mental age is lower than actual age. I don't know what to do now, the consultations are very expensive and I cannot get a concrete answer. Please advise me.

Jul 21, 2015
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You Know Your Child Best
by: Anonymous

My boy is 6-1/2 now; born as a fraternal twin at 32 weeks; spent 5 weeks in NICU; he liked to twirl and lay on the floor pushing his cars back and forth and sit in W sit, and stuff his mouth with food until he threw up, so they referred us to autism center for eval - told us he needed speech therapy and it was too early to make any autism diagnosis. During eval I noticed that my other more verbal twin did most of the talking so during the 6 month wait for speech therapy I did "tough love" and wouldn't bring items if his brother asked until he asked for it - as frustrated as he was, he started to speak words so that by the time we got in for speech therapy 5 months later they questioned why were there and did another speech eval and he passed - no therapy was needed.

No issues in fulltime daycare until age 4 when teacher stated he couldn't sit still, was disruptive, and would have a hard time in kindergarten eventhough he was bright. Preschool had about 28 kids in the class although they changed from day to day so I think he was exposed to over 34 different children, many of them boys. I signed him up for swimming (it has a calming effect), gymnastics (trying to reign in the upside down spinning he liked to do), and he wanted ice skating (I think it was just another cool/different sensation). In the meantime, I had him evaluated by the school and I started trying different things in the diet to see if there was a trigger - I believe sugar didn't affect him as much as food dyes (fruit snacks, etc) so I cut that out however, he's always been a pretty healthy eater. I also made sure that I took them outside to play an hour each day - and noticed outside play had a calming effect on him more than just inside play. School district eval came back as 1-1/2 years ahead academically but 3/4 year behind socially - may end up with a SPD, but not clinical so keep trying to be consistent. They did point out during the preschool eval that the teacher wasn't consistent in whether kids had to raise hands, etc. so my literal child was having a hard time.

She made some changes and I started experimenting with weighted lappads and blankets, fidget tools, etc. Every child is different but I got a book from amazon that was "Raising the Sensory Child" and took some helpful tips from that - for my son I found that the weighted blanket at night made the most difference (what used to take an hour or two to get him to sleep now could take 20-30 minutes!) We also had a tiny backpack and filled it with weights (10% of his body weight) - the preschool teacher and I would have him carry it from the classroom to the lunchroom/gym - OT recommended to give another type of calming effect through "work" instead of running it out.
He was a child too where timeouts would make it worse, and at age 4-1/2 would start telling me he wants to do it but his ears won't listen to his brain and he'd feel worse. When he gets out of control - I now crouch down in front of him and ask him if he needs a hug and tell him to squeeze me as much as he needs to - it works so much faster than any timeout ever did and I wish I would've figured it out earlier.

I enrolled him in a private parochial kindergarten that had only 19 students (my luck only 6 boys the rest girls) with a 20 min morning recess and 20 min afternoon recess. Made sure he was asleep by 830 (we'd have to start bedtime at 730) because he had to be up by 630 and on the bus at 715. By November conference, kindergarten teacher mentioned "we may have a problem", so I provided the weighted backpack from him to carry to the lunchroom and back from the recess (he just needed a bit more help transitioning back to seated work). Because I had him already evaluated I feel I had more leverage with the teacher because I just had him evaluated by OT and psych etc. 6 months ago. I continue to ensure he gets more sleep than his brother, he can have chocolate but not colored candy as a treat, swims once a week, gymnastics once a week, and during kindergarten I started piano to see if that would provide a different avenue for calming and we recently got a kitten as well.

My son is now 6-1/2 and while he has more energy and bubbly than most - he no longer is the child the others roll their eyes at. He is gentle and kind and empathetic. I'm not sure if he ever had anything clinical and I can't say he wont in the future but I do believe (as well as my extended family) that he was not an easy child and there wasn't something right.

I will never know whether he would've outgrown "it" naturally or whether doing all these things combined somehow connected the brain's pathways in a way that he can function as the educational system needs him too. I ticks me off that I had to figure most of this stuff out on my own and that the school system isn't set up for what I believe to be 25% of the children who aren't sedentary and can't sit for hours on end. Maybe Europe has it right by not starting kindergarten until the age of 7!

I realize that some children will be clinical but I share this in hopes that it will give you some help or direction that is so lacking for the average parent to see if one of these works for your active child. God Bless!

Jul 15, 2015
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I need GUIDENS PLEASE SOME ONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO
by: desert hot springs CA

My son is 5 hasn't been sleeping at night , some times it's seems like his body goes out on him for 2 second and comes back,he talks very loud out of the blue ,can keep feet still or hands still when siting or laying down only time there still is when he's sleeping ,.I need guidens a help on what to do ,he's my only son that has been threw alot .

May 22, 2015
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SPD
by: Rena

Melissa:

I truly understand your dilemma. My 5 year was diagnosis with Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder, ADHD, and Regulatory Disorder. This was his first year in a public school after being in a small daycare setting for 5 years. The large classroom with 25 kids was a shook to him and he acting out everyday. I've spent so much time in the principals office for his aggressive behavior in class or issues on the bus. He's been suspended from school at least 5 - 6 times this year. I've taken many days off from work to spend all day with him in class. He has an Individual Educational Plan but, the school couldn't provide services for him. I had to contact the school board to final have him removed from the school in April 2015 to a non-public school for a smaller setting. I'm now in the final process of getting him placed in a school for kids with Autism and Sensory disorders. It's been a long process since September 2014 but, currently I see a big difference from my son from the temporary school he's in now. You may need to call your school system now to get information about Special Schools in your area. Your school should be able to get some assistance now before he starts kindergarten. If want more information you can reach me on rena43@hotmail.com

Apr 22, 2015
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Gifted children and behavior issues
by: Anonymous

If you know your child is intelligent, you can do some research on gifted children. Search gifted children, intensity, twice exceptional etc in YouTube. You will know their brain works so differently that causes many issues. Don't just rely on one diagnosis as many gifted children are misdiagnosed.

Apr 17, 2015
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My son gave me a heart attack
by: Mona

My son is six years old and from they day he was born as a preemie different. He screamed as a baby all the time. 24/7 !

The Doctors told me he had colics. But he turned 1 year and he still cried about everything. He is 6 years now and all over the place. He interrupts, breaks things, hurts the dogs, pees everywhere, Poops in his pants right infront of us! We tried everything. He screams and talks very loud and repeats himself all the time.
No matter if it is brushing teeth, getting dressed, shower or bath. Everything is a pain in the ....! He Bullies us and tells us how bad we are. I had a heart attack 2 weeks ago and I am 40 years old. I went with him to doctors and they act like that I am crazy. What is happening?

Apr 07, 2015
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Started with my son at the same age...
by: Andrea Z

My son is now 6 and in kindergarten, but at the age of four everything changed. He spoke extremely early, forming sentences while other kids were learning basic words. Always a very calm and bright child. We had small tantrums start around 2 1/2, but nothing that was not normal. 4 changed everything. It started with the laughing, I knew his random laughs meant the other side of my son was going to come out. The laughs were the worst right before bedtime. I hoped he would grow out of it. We were trying everything. It was so frustrating!

We kept a regular routine, restricted his diet, and things continued to escalate. I started having to leave work to pick him up at daycare because my now 5 year old was throwing full-blown tantrums. People told me he may be ADHD, everyone gave advice but no one seemed to understand. I think they thought it was just "problems at home" or "bad parenting." My son would tell me that he cannot control it. That his brain tells him to get upset and he tries to call his brain down and he can't. We talked about ways to calm down, and the next fit I asked him if he tried them. He continued to say things like, "My brain won't listen - it won't calm down. I try mom I do!" After getting the call from daycare that he can no longer attend, my husband and I decided I needed to take a leave to be with him. He was to start kindergarten in a few short months and we also did not want him to be labeled.

I also enrolled him in counseling, which was more help for me with coping than it was for him. We never labeled his condition. Although at times he cannot sit still, there are also times he can for hours and color amazing pictures with stories that go with them, so ADHD is not the issue. I required him to nap everyday in his room with black out curtains, and that gave us the most significant change. It's like his over-active brain needs a rest (even at 6 years old). A lot of parents mock me when I say my 6 year old son still needs to nap, but he is doing very well in kindergarten and although it is not perfect it is so much better than this time last year. He also needs a lot of brain stimulating activities. He behaves so well when I give him something challenging. I would love to hear from you and how your journey continues, and any things that may be working for your family: andreaamara@live.com

Apr 06, 2015
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help
by: Heather

My son is 6 and he has always been hyper and bouncing off the wall. I just assumed he was just a hyper lil boy. but he had his tonsils and adnoids taken out a few weeks ago and he just recently got to see his half brother and sister that he has never seen before and is upset that his ( so called Father ) wont have anything to with him. He went to school today and they called me a couple hours later saying he was crying and his stomach hurt. I got there and picked him up and he calmed down now that its bedtime which he has never gave me any problems going to bed just starts crying i said whats wrong he says i dont know i just cant stop crying he says nothing hurts hes not sick he just cant stop crying he has been crying now for almost an hour.....

Mar 21, 2015
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I felt like I wrote your article
by: Jamie

My 3 1/2 year-old son has very many of the same issues! It is very hard to do anything or go anywhere with his behavior. School also has a rough time with him and we are just looking into getting occupational therapy as well. Reading this made me feel not so alone in this world! So hard when you love somebody so much to think that there could be something wrong.

Mar 16, 2015
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Email me!!
by: Anonymous

Hi! I'm in Philly also and we are in the same boat! We receive the same services from elwyn. Email me so we can chat. Lizwockey@comcast.net

Mar 11, 2015
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For "Grandson with night terrors"
by: Anonymous

Our son began having intense night terrors at around 2.5yrs old. It went on for a good three months or so until I finally came to the realization that this was not "typical night terrors". He had been a child who slept from 7p-7a since the time he was 3mo old. His pedi didn't seem concerned calling it typical toddler night terrors, but his fits and intensity was an alarm for me that something deeper was going on here. I am a Nurse with much psych/behavior experience. I've also taken care of many children throughout my life to recognize that this was more than "nightmares". This was a real, intense, frightening, painful, uncontrollable experience for my little guy.

Coming from a family history of multiple Strokes and Seizures, my gut went straight for brain wave activity, possibly "night seizures", common in children. I took a natural approach, basically I did what I felt was the way to go. I knew best and didn't need the approval, or disapproval of an MD in my way. I took my little guy for Neurofeedback therapy. We found a therapist who used the optima system. They put little sensors on the top of his head (held in place by some sort of sticky gel) and headphones. That's it! It basically measures brain wave activity while the child watches one of their favorite movies. Much like an EEG would check for seizure activity. As the system recognizes glitches in the brain wave activity, it sends feed back (very low "record scratching" sound) to the child via the headphones. It's just enough feedback for the brain to recognize "oh, in that moment I wasn't firing in the right direction/correctly" The system will continue to send little scratch noises until the brain fires correctly.

Let me tell you I was a skeptic. But after one 45min session our son slept through the entire night with no "night terrors" We went for 3 sessions in total and have not had one more night terror. We did end up having the occasional "night awakening" where he would "quietly" wake up and crawl into our bed. With a few months of training him to stay in his bed he eventually did. Thank God those days are behind us. Best of luck to you and your family.

Mar 07, 2015
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constant night terrors since 2 months old!
by: Anonymous

Every night my grandson wakes up screaming it last till he gets a bottle he was two months old when we noticed he had night terrors. Now he is turning two, and it is getting worst. He is very smart and active. Very well loved and he and he knows how to make a crowd of people laugh. His night terrors are now hurting me and my dogs. He scratched the hell out of my eyes and jumped on my dog. He felt bad after he woke up a bit. These night terrors are scary and annoying. The doctors don't have much information on night terrors, but my opinion they need to figure what causes this to happen and find a cure. This is a horrible situation to see the kids go through an act of something so scary when they were sound asleep and peaceful.

Feb 15, 2015
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Maybe the environment is stifling too.
by: Anonymous

I have a four-year-old son who does not have spd, but was in e preschool 7 months ago that was just a bad fit for him, we have since moved him to a preschool in the woods where they go hiking every day based on the Reggio Emilia approach and he really thrives in his new environment, the reason I am posting is because they said the same thing about my son sitting down while the teacher was reading in groups of 12 kids, but he has always been fine when I read to him and he sits still at his new school in smaller groups of 4-5 no problem.

Feb 05, 2015
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Help
by: Angela

I have a ten year old boy and he has been developmentally delayed since he was born. He was a month early and I labored with him for a month. This was do to him having a bowl movement in my sack. At birth he was able to breath fine. He had problems keeping warm,low blood sugar, feeding intolerance,low birth weight 4 pounds 6 ounces, and developed jaundice. He spent two weeks in the nic u.

When i brought him home from the hospital he was ok for about a week then the uncontrollable crying started and projectile vomiting. His doctor kept saying its colic and hes fine and would change formula. Then he stopped breathing. I rushed him to ER where he was admitted a diagnosis with acid reflux disease. When we got this under control and the crying stopped cause the pain was gone we noticed he would just sit there and stare at the ceiling. He was late for every mile stone and received early interventions.

My son didnt crawl at all didnt walk till age 4 and didnt speak till 4. He spent two and a half years in pre kindergarden then kindergarden. And by first grade he still wasnt ready. He is 10 and has all the issues you guys have described. Hes in fourth grade doing first grade work. Now i have a girl and she was a month early and i labored for a month. Her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck three times. She spent two weeks in nic u and came home. She went back to hospital a week later having seizures and now shes three and a half and not talking and spins in circles most of the day. Whats wrong with my kids?

Feb 03, 2015
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son of 8
by: Anonymous

My son is 8years.he has difficulties in talking and sometimes forgets at first. Please advise me.

Jan 08, 2015
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I wonder about my son
by: Anonymous

My son went through early prevention because of jaundice starting at 3 months till he was a year and then again because of speech delay at age two 1/2. He has had his ears checked and was told he might have selective hearing. He is sensitive to loud noise. If he does not have a good night rest he may get night terrors and be mentally over exhausted during the day. He seems to always need a toy in his left hand. He does write with his right. He can not be still and moves as he falls asleep. He also shows very aggressive behavior when he gets mad.

He has had a tough time making friends. He writes certain letters and numbers in mirror image. He makes names up, which is strange for example he has named every angry bird and when I looked them up those were not the names. My son had high levels of jaundice when born. His diet is all american. When he was a toddler elevation and ear pressure changes wear horrific for him.

Dec 16, 2014
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poor little 5 year old grandson jealousy
by: Anonymous

I adore my 5 year old grandson. He had a difficult birth and gap always been hyperactive. And very much affected by food coloring and chemicals. He has a younger brother nearly 2 who my daughter dotes on, still puts to the breast . And indeed still sleeps with. The little one is very small and extremely cute. The eldest one often pushes or throws a toy at the little one, severely reprimanded by his mother. She always cuddling the younger one and having him on her knee. He's totally reliant on her and she's created situation whereby her needs for him to cling to her are greater than his need to do so.it breaks my heart but if I say one word out of place I'll be prevented from seeing them and he won't get any time with me at all.he frequently tells me hates mummy ,wants to live with me,and with big sighs,wishes he could be a baby again..I think this happens in a lot of homes and indeed happened to his mother with her father favouring her younger brother.as much as I tried to compensate.it didn't work and I still get blamed .she still cannot see what she's doing.

Nov 14, 2014
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my 4 year old want stop crying at school what can I do
by: Anonymous

I have a four year old that love going to school everyday, but when he's there all he do is cry for everything thing. The teacher doesn't know what to do because he is a very smart little boy but he stop the class if he don't want to do what they are going and cry. So days he cry cause he dont want to be at school and other days he cry not to come home. I tried everything talking time out taking his toys but that doesn't work. He is a child thats ok playing alone and can take the punishment. What can I do help me!!!!!

Nov 13, 2014
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My son is 7 and has had these problems since day 1
by: Anonymous

I feel I may be party to blame for the way my son is because when I was pregnant with him I was in a terrible relationship with his sperm donor that made me act like a crazy person and I feel that may have effected him. He's a lot like me in a lot of ways, very high strung, emotional, short fuse, etc but then there's things he has that I don't like his extreme out of control hyperness.

He was given adhd meds at age 5 because he wouldn't have made it through his first day of kindergarten without them even though I have a love hate relationship with adhd meds. Sometimes the side effects aren't worth it . He's been on about 3 different kinds and I'm still not really satisfied. It gets him through school though without me getting phone calls from the principal which by the way has happened quite a few times since he stated school and most the time those days he wasn't on his meds.

My child is very intelligent and can be so sweet but he has a bad temper at the same time and says things that scare me like the other day he said he wanted to stab himself in the heart because I sent him to his room for misbehaving , go figure. That seems to be the easiet way to deal with him because it keeps me from stressing out.

I'm pregnant with my third. Thank God my second son is totally opposite from my oldest son and he's so easy . God knew what he was doing when he gave him to me. There's no way I could deal with two like my oldest or three at that. I'm praying this third is just as easy as my second. My oldest sons sperm donor was a trouble maker and still is in his 20's. He has never seen him but you can still see the similar qualities and it scares me because I don't want him to turn out like his sperm donor. My son makes everything difficult from getting up in the mornings to taking showers to getting dressed to eating , just literally everything. I have to get his meds in him as soon as he wakes up or he will be out of control. By the time he gets home from school they have already wore off so I really never see the calm side of him. He's so mean to his little brother who is 4 but I know he loves him. He's very bossy (I was also when I was a kid) . He honestly would have made a great only child I think because when his brother and him aren't together he's great. It's like he's constantly trying to compete with his brother and they both get the same attention. We don't show favor towards my younger one.

Before he got on his adhd meds at age 5 he got us kicked out of our gym because he would pinch, kick , bite kids even girls. He was almost kicked out of karate. He was moved out of one teachers class at Mother's Day out to another because the first teacher couldn't deal with him. I'm afraid now that he's in 2nd grade he's already been labeled by the teachers. He was moved up close to the teachers desk at the beginning of this year. He's very easily distracted. Can't keep his hands to himself, can't sit still, etc etc etc. when he was a baby he would cry non stop and was never a baby to "cry it out". There were times I called my mom crying who lived right down the road at the time because I couldn't sleep and had to get up and work the next day because he was crying and crying and nothing I did would work. It doesn't help that I don't have a lot of patience but he really is a difficult child. Im 100% sure all his past teachers and anyone who has had to deal with him would agree.

He did have something called cafe au lait when he was born. It affects the nervous system. He had brown spots on his back but they faded after the first year or so so I figured that wouldn't be an issue anymore but maybe it's worth bringing up to my dr. Just know youre not alone. Almost 8 years later and I still don't have the answer.

Oct 11, 2014
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What is SPD? What are the signs & how is it diagnosed ?
by: hottina44@yahoo.com

I'd like to know the early signs of SPD ? It sounds like my oldest son,it's like he's never been able to process the right & wrong side of his choices. Now in his 20s his ( as we were told in 2 Nd. Grade , that he had a learning disability.) he's been in trouble with the law ! Does he have a chance with getting a break ( never told courts before) due to his learning disability? He went to a trailor & then a special school but never chose to use those times to learn to work out his problems & learn to live his life around his problem?

Oct 10, 2014
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Try Spio suits
by: Anonymous

I would try a Spio outfit, or at least just a top. Works sensory and self-regulations wonders for some kids. You can look at them and testimonials and research. No I do not sell them, but I have worked with many similar kids for many years.

Oct 01, 2014
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God bless you!!
by: Anonymous

I was reading this blog&just wanted to let u know.You are not alone. My son is very hyper also..more so just recently Starting kindergarten. And where it is such a long day.I feel its just to much,especially for boys being so active. My son gets very aggressive&cannot focus after sweets.It is a true saying..we are what we eat.I limit sugar juices&most Important anything with artificial dyes. They are poison to
Not only us..but our kids.Especially with any hypersensitivity&aggression.Its only going to make it worse.They have banned red#40/yellow5 etc.In over 40 countries. Feingold.com)has a special diet that I need To check out.

Going to bed early..lots of hugs&kisses & a Proper organic diet is essential for our kids.I ended up Keeping my son another year in preschool&it did help in
Maturity. I KNOW sometimes our pride gets in the way & We worry about what others think..but what it comes down
To is they are their to help & when its all said &done,No one Is perfect.

People have told me to hit my son when he gets
Aggressive after having sugar.oh!please that only would Make him worse..and instill more anger.My father in law had adhd which if you read about the disorder, Sugar& Dyes only make it worse...

I usually make a chart hang it On his door..talk calm and reward all the positives then when he gets 20..I bring him to toys r us to pick out a toy & if he does something fresh..hide his tablet for 2 days.

I have had such great success with cutting out red #40 etc. its in everything. & it definitely has helped his behavior.

Beware of when he starts kindergarten and starts Buying lunch..because my son would come home crying very angry and Throwing things..and i found out..he was buying chocolate
milk.total caffeine&sugar ... crazy!!!! l.o.l.

God bless whoever reads this & Remember these are our babies & we are their
advocates ...Have a great night!

Sep 11, 2014
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my son 4 years
by: Anonymous

My son is the same in most of them things touchin lickin and kids dont want to play with him he just wants to play hide and seek he is on waitin list for autism wish it would go quicker 9 months 2 wait he has been doin this shakin from 6 months but more in past month nearly everyday scaring me doc done blood but nothin everything normal so they don't care he is 4

Sep 01, 2014
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Hidden autoimmune disorders/diseases
by: Anonymous

Have your child's anti-body level checked. Most of these children's symptoms/diagnosis (ADD, ADHD, Autism, aggression, anger, learning and social issues...) sound like an autoimmune disorder of some sort. My nephew has been diagnosed with PANDAS; my oldest son has juvenile diabetes; my four yr old couldn't handle milk until he was two and a half; my two yr old is chronically anemic for some reason; my great-grandfather had Gillian-Barr Syndrome twice; my aunt, Fibromyalgia and a gluten allergy; my sister; Irritable Bowl Syndrome; another nephew has a severe shrimp allergy that was almost missed by doctors because he hallucinates, runs a fever, becomes lethargic and has night terrors instead of the "typical" allergic reaction... Not to mention the ADD; ADHD, OCD, Separation Anxiety; Bipolar and other Mood Disorders, aggression; babies that did non-stop crying,like they were mad from birth; Learning Disabilities in otherwise gifted children... All are autoimmune disorders/diseases or are symptoms of, or are related to an autoimmune response/attack on various parts of the body. Some symptoms are very hard to link. To someone who has never heard of PANDAS, I explain it as Strep induced Tourette's Syndrome w/OCD, ADHD, allergies, behavioral and social issues, aggression and anger problems, learning disabilities, and much more. I come from a very large family, both of my parents have 4 siblings (which was nothing compared to generations before them), I have 6 sisters, and we have 18 children among the 6 of us, so we have a greater probability and wider range for multiple and rare autoimmune disorders/diseases and their symptoms.

Jul 15, 2014
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help
by: Anonymous

i am not sure what is going on with my daughter. she is 3 going to be 4 in sept.
i thought it was just her being 3 because there are days where she is an angel and does nothing wrong. then there are many days where is just cries all day long, hits herself, will not listen, throw things, lick things, purposely do things she knows she is not supposed to do. i asked he doctor about adhd he said she is way to young to know. but there has got to be something wrong with her.
we try and talk to her and she wont look at us or even listen.
what should i do??????

Jul 08, 2014
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Dont take just any diagnosis!Read this moms
by: Anonymous

Wow!Exact same story almost; but listen to this everyone!! Drs. labled my son autistic after being pretty much "normal progress" until about 4 yrs old.He hit all milestones on time and the only thing at first was hyperactive. Well he started backtracking,talked less,using bathroom on his self ect. Well I thought it was asd. But he just kept getting worse and worse.So up to date,he's 10 and in December he just got a diagnosis of degenerative brain disease and say he wont make it to 15.Well on top of that started treating him for agitated catatonia also.So after the last MRI recently it showed that his brain had been shrinking and that from all the sleep deprivation was bad on him.His brain would be sleeping but body awake.They say meds are working and has gained weight and grew 2inches!!Please get MRI s for these kids early!!Dont take just any diagnosis! !If I hadn't caught it they say he had only 1yr. Left!!!-devastated mom

Jun 30, 2014
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Food
by: Anonymous

Before rushing for a diagnosis for any of these kids, I'm surprised no one suggested removing gluten and dairy from their diets. My now 5 yr old was so bad at 18 months we were sure she was autistic, or had some form of disorder.
She screamed sometimes 23 hrs a day ( not an exaggeration)
Was violent to others, and herself. Had a rash that she scratched constantly. Never slept more than 30 mins at a time. Was the kid at parties that people were advised to keep their kids away from.
Her nickname was devil child, terrible I know, but she was like Damien.

On a whim, we considered food as an issue. She had a milk allergy. We also removed gluten. We have also removed artificial colours. In 2 weeks she was a different child. She potty trained herself in 3 days. Slept 8 hrs.
Anyone who has issues with a child, one of the first things that should be looked at is a food issue. It might not be the whole issue, but a part of it. People still fail to realize what we puts in affects us. Kids can't tell you how they feel, so they act out.

Jun 25, 2014
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crystal child
by: indigo child 8888

My 2 1/2 yr old has almost the same exact behaviors. Look up crystal children :-)

Jun 20, 2014
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oh god...please tell me there is hope!
by: Anonymous

We have just adopted a 5 year old boy. For awhile things were good...i mean the kid is insanely hyper but we dealt with that ok.....but lately i fear for him and for our family.

I will call him Greg....he hits himself, bites himself, calls himself stupid, terrible....he drops into a rage in a nano second....he ran in front of a car trying to kill himself a week ago because he hates himself..... i am new to parenting and wasn't looking to adopt but thru a messed up family member this child fell into my lap....i am giving him all i can and then some...i am in tears not knowing how to help him.

He goes to occupational therapy weekly (which i think is doing nothing for him) and he goes to a normal therapist....i take him on hikes, bike riding, parks wherever just to keep him busy.

Lately he is scratching, hitting and biting other children.....

Normally he is sweet and loving until one thing doesn't go his way and then it is the whole world better run.....

i would love any ideas feedback...i am truly afraid this 5 year old boy is going to kill himself or severely hurt another.....

side note: he watched his parents get hauled away by the cops...has been abandoned by a lot of people...all of his teeth are rotted out (thankfully they will be replaced by adult teeth) he is very athletic though i tried putting him in a sport.....i am lost here

you can email me at seaosin@hotmail.com if you have any any ideas to help.

May 12, 2014
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SPD
by: Anonymous

Have any of these children been screened for ASD? ASD children have language delays, aggression issues, tantrums & outbursts, use nonsense language, & sensory disturbances. My daughter was diagnosed with both at age 4. She exhibited all of the above. She has made huge improvements with ABA therapy and speech/language therapy. Her negative behaviors have decreased and she has gone from one word answers to full sentences. We are still working on focus and social skills. I hope your children are receiving all of the therapy they need and not just assuming they have psychiatric issues.

Mar 18, 2014
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mom of 2 both have something going on
by: Anonymous

Hi, I was never suppose to be able to have kids but was blessed with 2!

my daughter is 7 years old and at 2 was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and has been through so much testing for that alone. By age 6 she was diagnosed with adhd, odd, and waiting to rule out a lot of other things. She too has major aggression issues, and is very hard to handle every day. To this day she does not sleep through the night and wonders. she is a running and will attack me, animals, and her younger brother. she also has a central auditory processing disorder which makes things hard, she is very smart but in school for numbers or letters she can not do anything with them, she writes backwards and from left to right yet she is right handed, she can not recall memory or explain what happened 5 min ago properly, she will say last year or always blame someone else, she is a compulsive liar,she is off in her own little world, she can't sit still and has been put on abilify for her aggression towards others. we have to wait until her teen years to determine the level of her mental illness. possible bipolar, paranoid schizophrenia...

then there is my now 3 year old son.

doesn't sleep, can't talk and when he tries no one can understand anything he says, he will only eat pasta and pizza and fries, he refuses everything else, every since he was a baby when it came time to start on baby food his teeth came in so fast, and the time of year he had the flu 2 times close together and in the end all I would have to do is walk into the kitchen and he would throw up. if any new food goes near his mouth he runs, or throws up. he was never a baby to put anything in his mouth. he screams and cries a lot since he can't communicate, I've been trying to teach him sign language in hopes he could communicate that way. he attacks his sister and everyone else, spits at you and scratches, bites, kicks, punches, the works. he is seeing many different specialist to try and help him but nothing is working. they have him as special needs so far and we are all working hard to teach him the best we can. he has no fear and will jump from the top of the stairs with his eyes open, and he feels no pain or at least it seems that way, unless it is very bad then he will just cry very very little. he gets nose bleeds a lot when he does sleep ( 2 hours max) at night he will wake up with his face covered and his pillow with blood all over it. I try every day for potty training yet nothing, he pours water, juice, anything he can get a hold of all over the floor and is obsessed with the vacuum. before it was the only way I could get him to fall asleep was by running the vacuum now he has to be the one using it. my advice to helps those just starting out, here are the ways I've went so far:
doctor, pediatrician, speech and language therapist, physiologist, child and youth workers, pathways, sick kids hospitals, and for my daughter the arthritis society.

Mar 05, 2014
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Mom of 5
by: Anonymous

I have a 2 year old and I have talked to his doctor about his sleeping it is like he don't really need sleep. He falls to sleep must nights around 10:30/11:00 wakes around 2:30 back to sleep around 4:00 and back up for the day about 6:30am. He has been in speech therapy for about 3 months now and is doing a little better. His therapist he might have a sensory issue where he does not like process everything that is being sayed to him but they could not tell that until he was a little older. He shows no feelings if he hurts someone and if he hurts hisself he might wine but that is it. You speak to him and tell him no about something and he gets really mad sometimes and knocks over lamps, throws things. Then sometimes for no reason he will just pick your drink up and dump the whole on the floor. Just two nights ago for no reason at all he throw my cell phone at our 11 year old daughter and put a HUGE egg knot on her. For his age he is strong and big. I am a SAHM and I really don't have the engery to chase after him. We had to talk his toddler bed out of his room for him throwing his mattress around. Can anyone give me any advice.

Nov 14, 2013
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in process of diagnosing my 5 1/2 yr old
by: Anonymous

Hi I can relate to alot of those other mums.I got teary as well to as it sounds alot like our life. is sad for the reason we have all seen dr after dr and its like when is this going to stop so you can help my son. I had my son ak just the other day mum do I have any more drs soon. I finally said no. I really with we/I did as now we are just waiting to see whats wrong.Then we have already seen a Psychologist, and tried Kinesology ( which paed said to stop ). He had problems when he was younger but I always pulled him up. He wasnt mean to kids when he was little. Have temper tantrums from me but I disciplined him from when he could understand ( not that they probably do fully yet ). They started in daycare getting aggressive or not getting along with kids. Then he was fine through kindy. He was very intelligent when he was young everyday I would ask the teacher how he did. I told her I thought it was a problem and she said she had to find time I was see a physologist (how ever u spell - have had no sleep and it nearly 5 am, had when all u do is think is this goin to be a bad day. Anyways where in term 4 so soon our christmas school holidays - his teacher has written to the paeditrician, has done a reward/bad behaviour book (stickers if he is good and not sticker just writing what he had done wrong) for him and one other. Every best friend he had made teacher has said they should hang out after school there a bad combination.

He currently has that situation (which has the be the hardest as he has only got 2 more weeks with him as his best friends family are moving overseas probably for good). It's hard it will say he has hit his best friend and then there all talking after school, its hard to think that these kids he has done things do talk to him (it is great that they do as he doesnt want to do the things he does and he realises after he has done something that he shouldn't have and would cry and feel bad) but they must see he has a gorgeous heart and care just has hard time showing at the moment). He has also seen his principle and deputy principal. He has hit a boy in the class next to him and given him a blood nose. he hasn't gone to year one yet and everyone friends, doctors and family its normal (well maybe normal from where they come from but not me) I have 2 boys 5 1/2 yrs and 4 yrs. To where a lady said she would stand with the pram, with my youngest son in it. So I could get him. I was actually like him just not aggression I was diagnose at an other age with adhd as symptoms were from like 4 yrs old my mum just didnt know much or probably want to medicate then. I feel sorry for him he does which I hope he doesnt. At least if he does his mum understand and can help him. If it wasnt me sorting it out first then I would be at square one with having concerns at a young age. if he does we dont want to medical first and see ho we go.

Nov 09, 2013
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Been There
by: Anonymous

It sounds like a lot more than SPD. That may be part of it but please find out as much as you can as soon as you can! I wish that I would have had all the info that I have now earlier. My son is twelve and can't function socially or academically. He appears to be a normal 12 yr old but once people are around him for an extended period of time we have problems school, daycare etc. and the older a child gets the less tolerant people are especially adults even when they know there are issues. If your lucky you will find somewhere with understanding and compassionate people. we started trying to find out what is wrong with our son when he was about three and we still don't have a clear answer. We've been given diagnosis' of ADHD, ADD, CAPD, SPD and AS all at different times and he does show signs of all of those but I know there has to be a better answer. Also one problem I've found is doctors not wanting to look deeper and test thoroughly, you have to make them!! GOOD LUCK! GOD Bless!

Oct 23, 2013
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You are myym soul mate!!!
by: Anonymous

We are going through the same. Only we weren't as understanding w his current school. My heart goes out to u and your family. I can tell u what we've done: saw a play therapist for months, had her observe him at school, she suggested sensory, did massive research for an occupational therapist specializing in sensory disorder, had her evaluate and start O T twice a week. Next week he is starting a school specializing in sensory issues. He's in PreK And the school only goes to kindergarten as the program is made to help them learn coping fir the need to jump, hit, push etc. we had to look up autism schools to find this one. Been in you shoes. Screw people that say we are not doing the right thing. They are ignorant fools!! By the way my husband has a doctorate in psychology .... This condition is real and not easy to identify

Oct 10, 2013
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Suggestion
by: Mum of 5 Anonymous

When enroled in kindergarten or primary school , you can request to see school nurse and education Walfare officer and it's these people who really get things moving for you and your child's future x best wishes good luck x

Mum who's been fighting for her son sanity

Oct 07, 2013
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For the mom, Oct. 5
by: Puckerup

I have learned through therapists in working with my son 4 1/2yrs old that he and a lot of his peers (probably like your child too) has difficult sensory issues (I'm guessing that's why you've posted on this forum). Some of these children like to hit, push, and display randomly a lot of aggressive behavior that's sometimes unpredictable. Some of these kids are hypo-sensitive and don't feel pain normally. They have odd fixations. My son currently loves to leap from high places, omg! Don't be scared (I was a bit too). Kids are real sensitive and they can't express themselves properly. If it's possible, read-up as much as you can to help you and him at home. I bought my son a mini-excercise trampoline, this helps with sensory and calms him down...for example. I'm reading "Raising a Sensory Smart Child" and "The Out-of-Sync Child". Also, "the GAP diet"...these are GUIDES, not the end-all, since every kiddo is different and parental situations as well. I also rely on a lot of speech and occupational therapists to help him out. Wish you and your son positive developments. You are not alone.

Oct 05, 2013
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my son
by: Anonymous

Hi, I'm in tears my son is hyper, impulsive, disrespectful,very aggressive, looks through me when i speak. punishing him turns into punishment for myself. He loves too hit and taunt others. I ask him why? he looks at me with an straight face says he doesnt know why he do the things he does. That scares me so much. He harms himself like biting, slamming head into walls, likes to open scabs and watch it bleed. Tries too over power me any change he gets. spanking him isn't effective, nor is timeout or punishing him. the most unsure and frightening thing of it all is that he is only 5yrs old.

Sep 27, 2013
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homeschooling?
by: Anonymous

I know not everyone can do this.
But I homeschool. There meet ups for play dates and parent are pretty understanding and supportive on the play dates and field trips.

Sep 06, 2013
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My kindegarten
by: Anonymous

I can relate to many of your stories as a mother of a 5 year old. I first had my worries at age of 2 when my son had sleeping issues which I thought was effecting his behaviors. Had him evaluated by a pulmonologist with no answers. He went through early intervention due to poor language development
(which you could never tell now since he is very well spoken for a 5 year old) It was early intervention that stated they saw some SPD issues and started working with him.

Once in second year pre-school we stopped since the school said they would take over. He now is in kindergarten and I am sensing he is being isolated by other kids due to his behaviors. For one, he acts inappropriately at times, making goofy noises, poking, getting in peoples personal space, and being very hyper. I myself find the most annoying part is its like he can't comprehend other peoples facial expressions, signals of dislike and even verbal cues until the situation escalates into screaming or him being physically removed from the situation. He has said to me "I'm bad, I'm stupid, I'm a loser" and I have no idea where this is coming from. It breaks my heart!! He isn't violet but disruptive and hyper. Constantly getting hurt falling down, hitting walls, bumping into others. He has stated to me "I can't help it, My brain won't stop, and constantly apologizes. He does have sympathy and can be very loving. I am so afraid he will make no friends or lose the ones he has now. He said to me that nobody wants to play with him so I play alone. I am heartbroken!

Aug 13, 2013
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Get him Meds
by: Anonymous

Get him to a Spd specialist and pn the right meds. It makes a world of difference for him and you!

Jul 20, 2013
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You must try this
by: Aimee

Hello. I have read all these comments and as always it all sounds so much alike. I have a 4 1/2yr old boy. I've known for so long something was off. He's smart, can speak clearly but if things are not exactly the way he wants them he freaks out. I can go on forever but I just joined something called Brain balance center. You must look into it. Most likely your son is right brain weak. Meaning its functioning at a slower pace. We are trying this 12 week program for our son to help strengthen the brain neurons. His testing showed his right brain to be functioning at a 3yr old level while the 4yr old brain was perfect. He also scored low in auditory processing in the left ear. Meaning low brain function on right brain. It was an eye opener for us. He hears you but can't process it correctly causing all the symptons of ADHD. Please google brain balance. It just may help!

Aimee

Jun 25, 2013
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My little 4yr old..Need help
by: Anonymous

My son who is 4yr old is very hyperactive when is plays, doesn't know how to react with other kids, especially in public places he screams for no reason, cries out a lot, never listens to us,never does anything which we say rather does what he wants. Due to this behaviour in public, in parties or any get togethers we face a lot of embracement they look at him as a weird kid which breaks my heart.!!! so may time i made him understand how to behave and no to scream, he says yes but no improvement.Because him we are avoiding social activities , no friends, we are totally isolated now.. That builds our frustration even more. His school teacher in Pre-K was okay for first 2 weeks now she is like not caring,talking or even responding to my child or us properly.All his comments are positive in school no complaints but i still think i am not getting the actual input from school..:(.. sometimes i doubt my parenting.. what to do feel like i am not doing enough to put him on track.. I thank you all who shared their feelings about their children..it makes me feel better and gives me a confidence that i can deal with this situation.

Jun 16, 2013
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Eliminate 3 things...i went through the same exact problem!
by: Anonymous

Sounds just like my daughter...look into the affects of gluten and dairy and kids. I tool my daughter off both and it was an amazing transformation in behavior. We limited sugar as well. It seems that those three things are an irritant to our kids bodies.
The way they are processing wheat, sugar and dairy is killing people.
I have looked into this for 12 years as I was misdiagnosed. I took these items out of my life and it was THE answer to so many problems.

good luck and my prayers go out to you!

Mar 19, 2013
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Food additives
by: Anonymous

I have Asperger's Disorder and SPD that severely worsened due to chemicals being added to foods, particularly Splenda/sucralose and whatever toxic substance is being called "Natural Flavors." If it's derived from a natural source and you can taste it, it can be called a natural flavor according to the FDA no matter how toxic it is. For example, MSG can be called a natural flavor because it can be made from seaweed and humans have taste buds for glutamate. MSG is an excitatory neurotoxin that will stimulate brain cells until they die. Packaged Splenda is laced with maltodextrin and god knows what else (MSG is a by-product of maltodextrin manufacturer). Pure sucralose isn't absorbed but destroys the good bacteria in your intestines as recently shown in studies. Bad bacteria probably thrive on sucralose so even though you don't absorb sucralose, the bad bacteria produce toxins that kill your good bacteria as well as being absorbed by the body. Destroying your gut flora is severely detrimental to your health. It took me a long time to figure out what was wrong because "Natural Flavors" are added to most of our food and I trusted the FDA to protect us. I can't imagine what this is doing to our children, especially those who are already generically susceptible to these toxins (see the recent research on Neanderthal DNA and autism connection).

Feb 03, 2013
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Our Hope
by: Anonymous

My son was diagnosed with PDD NOS in September 2012 at the age of 5. I believe the main reason he was given this diagnosis was due to his sensory processing difficulties. Noise, taste, texture, smells touch etc. He also has a hard time sleeping and due to the sensory processing issues a harder time than most typical children with self regulation. We did tons of research, networking with other parents etc and have tried numerous things including Therapeutic Listening to help support him through this. Two things have made a major impact on his life. One of which is Melatonin. If you have a child who cannot sleep I urge you to speak to their pediatrician about Melatonin. The other is actually a GFCF diet. I realize that to many this sounds crazy and impossible. In fact I was one of those people 2 months ago. When our sons naturopath recommended it I actually cried as I wondered how on earth I could ask my picky eater to start eating gluten and dairy free foods. Literally the first week on this diet he started singing songs and telling me he loved me. He has not had a negative note home from school since and "knock on wood" we are 34 days free of temper tantrums. About 2 weeks into the diet he asked if he could sleep in his own bed and has been sleeping alone for 3 weeks. We have also started biomedical treatment in which is comprised of vitamin supplements, probiotics and B12 injections. I am not sure if we will continue with this (other than the probiotics), however, I thought it worth noting. If you have a child with autistic traits I would encourage you to watch the CBC Nature of Things Autism Enigma documentary by David Suzuki. It might just change your life.

Feb 03, 2013
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Spd reply
by: Anonymous

Everythink u have said about ur son it is like im reading about my own son who is 5 but nighttimes are my worst times ive being trying for 2 years now to get someone to listen but it seems like im talking to myself. It is 12.26 in the morning and hes still awake hurting his brother and keeping us all awake but they not wanting listen.

Dec 31, 2012
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It is isolating...YOU will help your child overcome.
by: PuckerUp

My son just turned 4! My sweet little man looooves birthdays, every cake now is known to be a birthday cake :) in fact, we celebated his birthday multiple times because it's also close to Christmas, Family Vacation, New Years, etc. The only remarkable difference to us is that he had no friends attend any of the "parties". That's because we have a VERY hard time striking up friendships. He is language delayed and attends a private speech therapy school, where, during the End of Year Holiday Party, he threw a major tantrum that scared the bejeezus out of all grown-ups present, who are clearing thinking...my kid is definitely not as troubled as yours. No one would look at us after that grand display, ha! This is just an example of the many more incidences that we've experienced thus far. We have a lot of resources and that's helpful. But, regardless, there's no price on true friendship. We advocate for our son. We are, at times, embarrassed, fatigued, and completely dumbfounded. Just keep calm, and carry on. Do take a nano-second to curse the world, it's ok. Fast afterward...be present, be loving, be patient, be a teacher...because right now, it is just YOU and Him/Her.

Nov 01, 2012
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sick of pdd nos
by: chococherry

I am at my wits end. My pdd nos son is five and I can't take it anymore, he can talk a little but he acts so strange no one wants to be around him, the past year has become very isolating, slowly but surely all my friends have disapeared. Some friends I withdrew from because they simply don't get it, mind you I am the only one who has an autistic child. He goes to aba therapy and its not really helping, I thought I was getting along with the other mothers of autistic kids there but they're a little stand offish to me. I feel like I'm trapped in a downward spiral, family and togetherness is important to me and I feel like I don't have either and its making it very hard on all of us. On top of that I'm divorcing because its just too much for us emotionally, so he don't have a father in his life which makes it much harder on him. He is able to understand enough to know that all of the other neighbors have there dad so why don't he. Its painful and I'm trying to cope but failing miserably. Lets see what else, he's lonely, no one understands him, kids shy away from him, he has no one to play with outside of school, believe me I've tried. I kept him around the so called normal kids but it ends in disaster, the older they get the more they know he's different. I don't know what else to do and he's only 5. Is there any hope?

Nov 01, 2012
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hi
by: Anonymous

Wow I feel for you! It is exausting to take care of little ones especially when there is problems the child has, not that the child is a problem so dont take that the wrong way pls. I actually bawled when you said your son says his brain is stupid. I never want my kids to think their dumb, and im sure you dont either. Its just so sad. I pray you find the help you need and even though what he has may not go away. I hope you can find ways to live and cope with it and make your life and your sons easier.

God bless!

Oct 08, 2012
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The right temp
by: Worried mom

That comment about the right tempature hit right at home I thought it was just something personal. He has to have his milk and juice heated up, if he can feel that it's cold he will throw the cup. Some things I try not to pay attention to because he is still young and babies will do baby things I'm just reall concerned that with all the other symptoms that it make for a bigger problem.

Oct 08, 2012
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Take heart
by: Anonymous

I am a 35 year old engineer and had horrible sensory issues as a child. I could not stand the loud sounds of classrooms, school buses, or outdoor sporting events.I also begged my mother not to send me to school but in those days it was out of the question. Your loving affectionate a child is begging for your help in terms he cannot explain. I know it is a lot to ask you to consider home schooling but there are many programs where the children have a center based home school program. (That is they do get together for functions. If you work you could also find other mom's in your area with the same issues and develop your own "home school system," with each mom taking a turn one day a week. It would give you all the opportunity to keep the classroom down to no more than five, a reasonable noise level and still achieve the social aspects schooling provides. The best advice I can give you is find a group, get together and organize. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! The good news is I shared the same issues as your son and have had a very successful career. Five is terribly young to deal with sensory overload but I promise you, if you work with him as he grows he WILL find ways to compensate! I don't know if you are aware but children with sensory issues often have too many receptors in the brain but this is a curse and a blessing as they usually turn out to be very bright exceptional children. Best of luck!

Sep 24, 2012
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We are what we eat
by: Anonymous

My son was diognosed with asd at 2.6 years old he is now 5.5
He showed a lot of the traits that you mention and I recal many broken nights of having to cater to his constant needs of milk that had to the correct temperature.
How did I start to turn things around I looked into what he was eating & drinking, seriously if you look into what your son is consuming I'm sure this is contributing to his behaviour. I'm sure others will agree but this approach takes time and things can get worse before they get better.. For example if my son has anything soy he reverts back to broken nights and aggressive behaviour, if he has none organic meats he steadily becomes more hyper.
Seriously try and look at a GFCF diet and also have a read up of DR FEINGOLD more for the info on what certain foods naturaly have in them that for some reason certain kids can't tolerate . Good Luck and it does get better.

Aug 16, 2012
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it will get better
by: Anonymous

Hello. thanks for posting on the board. I am very sympathetic since i have gone through many years advocating for my son. I have to say too that rarely if ever have I seen sensory issues in the absence of other issues. ALL children have sensory issues but when they are very noticeable and constantly rotating (they don't outgrow one specific issue but instead take on a new one) it tends to be with another condition. That said, I think labels are useless and with all the budget cuts it doesnt actually help get more services because they pay attention to functioning and problem areas regardless of diagnoses. Diagnoses that typically come with SPD are some type of autism (this spectrum is so wide i think 10% of kids will be on it soon so don't pay attention to it) or ADHD.

My son was diagnosed with High functioning autism and ADHD and at some point i dropped the labels and focused on his problem areas. He is doing much better now but it took 6 years more of my intervention than the school's. I dont know if day care if the best place for a child who has needs. You may be better off taking some time to spend with him or hiring a compassionate and fun sitter, at least for part of the time.

From my experience with the sensory component, some things i would ignore, anything not really harmful because paying attention to it actually does make it worse and upsets the kid. If it is damaging you try to find an alternative like say a chewy toy (most kids tend to love these, theyre like teethers you chew on) to keep the mouth occupied, bounce houses to try to get the smackety energy out. Have you ever been to Bounce U? or something similar. Maybe get a small safe trampoline. hyperactivity tends to decrease with age but can take a long time. Very smart kids are often terrible with attention especially boys. You might suffer in the lower grades. If he is really struggling I would pester the school to give him an aide at least part time. Take heart, it does get better. it just is harder when they are younger.

Aug 09, 2012
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looking for opinions
by: worriedmom

My 1yr old is showing multiple signs of this disorder. He has the tendency to be very aggressive he hits everyone and was never thought that. He is having a issue with food, he breaks down and has real temper tantrums. Everything he touches he has to taste I don't care what it is. He dislikes crowds and loud noise, if he takes food he throws it down and steps on it on top of it all he has great aim because when he dislikes something or gets mad he throws what ever he is holding. I need help what should I do because I was thinking as if he is just a baby but I know something is wrong.

Jul 25, 2012
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In the same boat!
by: Anonymous

I have a 4 year old son as well and I thought I was
Reading about him! We also live in the Philly
Burbs. I am in the beginning stages of trying to
Get help and it is super frustrating... They just
Say "he is a very active boy" when I know
It is more than that.
Maybe we can be of support to one another!?!

Jul 22, 2012
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Response to Joseph
by: Anonymous

I am a stay at home Mom with a four year old little girl who has displayed signs of SPD. We do currently take her to an OT who has also confirmed that she could use a little bit of work with her sensory issues.

I find your comment about spending more time with your children slightly offensive. I spend almost every minute of every day with my two kids. I am fortunate that I can do that. A lot of others are not.

SPD is a real diagnosis for a real problem! This is not just an issue of spending more time with your kids. I do agree in some circumstances that children do act out in all different ways......many of which can look like SPD or ADD or any other "D."


Jul 16, 2012
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Spend time with your kids, thats the best cure.
by: Joseph

Not sure why but people in US (i'm from Malaysia) always tries to associate some problems they cant handle with their kids is due to some disorder, dysfunction,etc.

Not sure but maybe this gives them some reason like "Ohhh thats why, he/she is acting like that". All these experts comes up with some fancy sounding terms. They will ask the parents to send the kids to their center (which most cost $$$).

I have 2 boys. I had the same thought. Nearly attended a talk by an expert/consultant on Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) which cost $$. He said my son was having ADHD.

After a while i decided to spend more time with the kids (especially with the eldest) instead of going for these talks. It helped (a bit) but I will continue to do so.

Jun 05, 2012
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Funny but true
by: Linda

My 9yr old was just placed at the Horsham Clinic for stabbing a classmate with a pencil and threatening to blow up the school. We have tried for 6yrs for someone to take it seriously the school would just change their reward system when he started acting up... pediatrician "he's a boy" the couselors, I can't say why he behaves this way... Mind you 98% of his issues are only at school, not home or daycare. They IEP the school makes you sign for your child to stay in school is almost a joke... you sit at a table with 7 or 8 people taking turns telling you how rotten your child is but they are hear to help... So of now that my son is at the clinic he is sortof talking.. and guess what it all lies in he feels picked on by the teachers.. almost threatened.. he feels he is being watched all the time (which he is and for good reason)... so now the psychatrist is at the school helping them help my son!!! Finally an advocate for my child!

May 18, 2012
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Like a Mirror
by: Mrishel

As I read through you testimony and frustrations, I could have just as easily wrote the same thing about myself and our 4 year old son. He's at the point the preschool is sending him home from school because of his behavior. I'm a teacher so I know the difficulty of running a class of 25 kids and the lack of training and resources for underpaid professionals. However, I also can't help but feel there should be training for these teachers so they have strategies to help our special kids desensitize before exploding. We do not have the same issues at home because his father and I know what to use and do. The brushing and joint compressions have helped a lot, but we were trained to do it. We're read all the books, gone to classes, and go to OT and doctors regularly. I give the teachers suggestions, but they really don't understand SPD to predict why finger painting and lunch time and nap time are so hard! Kindergarten also scares me. We need more trained professionals in the schools to help the teachers.

Mar 29, 2012
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impulsive 8 year old
by: Anonymous

My son is now eight. When he was younger he really did not like being touched, he couldn't stand tags, he hated the sound of the vacuum. As he gets older he has outgrown some things he still eats his shirts and can't stand tags. He is so impulsive I ask why he does the things he is not supposed to do he either tells me he can't control himself or his brain made him do it. He had a lot of problems in first grade last year and was held back. My doctor put him on aderrall seems to help him focus in school he is doing better this year. I really did feel awful about putting him on drugs I always said I would never do that to my kids, but it makes a difference. I take him off his medication on the breaks, so last Chrismas break I forgot to give him his medication, by the second day his teacher sent me a note saying he was not focussing and was kicking other kids. The medication really helps. He is still very impulsive and I don't know what to do I feel so bad for him. Any advice on how to handle the impulsiveness.

Mar 05, 2012
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Response to Please Share
by: Anonymous

The thing we struggled with the most was deciding on which approach we wanted to take with addressing our sons situation. Prior to receiving the diagnosis of DCD, the clinic and OTs in which we took him to for an assessment believed that he had some sensory processing difficulties. They decided to treat this with OT for sensory integration as well as Therapeutic listening. The therapy was intense and very expensive. They believed that the SPD was causing his coordination problems (I believe they called it his vestibular system). We have seen some improvements with our sons behavior and coordination since his therapy has started. However, I do believe his improvements have been a result of the physio he has been undergoing with the therapeutic listening, the amount of sports we have saturated him with, him growing and learning some coping skills, and him becoming more comfortable with school and his new teachers and peers.

In the meanwhile, his pediatrician diagnosed him with DCD. This diagnosis explains a lot. Things that we once believed were totally SPD related actually were related to his DCD. A couple months into this therapy I by chance was introduced to the head of research for childhood disabilities at a local children's hospital. She is the guru on DCD and referred us to a different therapy clinic. This new clinic's philosophy is providing parent information and information to the school on what DCD and SPD is and how it affects our son as well as ideas to help support him. For example our son has a hard time standing in lines. He bumps into other children as a means to helping him ground himself and to figure out where he is in space. So the teacher lets him stand at the front of the line and she also has him do a push up against the wall as this action will provide him with the input he needs to feel grounded.

He also has a hard time with transitioning from one activity to the next so the teacher makes additional effort in preparing him for the change. Ie reminders and giving him a head start. These are just a couple small little changes, however, they are making a huge difference. But I think the most comforting thing is that for now, his teacher is educated on his condition and is understanding and compassionate.

Mar 05, 2012
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Book Recommendation for Melissa
by: Anonymous

I would recommend reading "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene, Ph.D. My 4 year old son has ASD, but the ideas in this book are applicable to children with a variety of diagnosis that have behavioral implications. I found it EYE OPENING! Hope it helps.

Mar 03, 2012
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Please share:)
by: Anonymous

I was just wondering if you would share some of the things that help your child cope and succeed in school. I have a 6 yr. old who sounds very much like your son and is having some difficulty in school. He has mild SPD and possible ADHD. Any advice is always appreciated:)

Mar 03, 2012
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Update from my post Oct 23 2011
by: Anonymous

So my four year old has finally received a diagnosis from his pediatrician in which makes sense to us. He has been diagnosed with Developmental Coordination Disorder (hence he is pretty uncoordinated) and attached to this disorder is some sensory processing difficulties. The full sensory Analysis that was completed showed that he was both a sensory seeker and avoider and had difficulty processing all of his senses. It also showed that he had difficulty filtering stimuli.

For example right now I am sitting at my computer in the background my baby girl is babbling, the clock is ticking and the wind is howling outside of my window. I can filter out all of the unimportant stimuli to focus on writing this comment. However, my son will notice all of the stimuli and will not be able to filter it out and will get overwhelmed and will eventually give up and check out. Hence, his teacher noticed that at times he does not appear "to be all there". On a positive note there are things you and the school can do to help your child cope and succeed and I feel we have finally found what some of these things are. We still have good and bad days. But things are getting easier. Good luck with finding the answers you are searching for. It will get better.

Mar 03, 2012
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My spd baby
by: Chococherry

I know how everyone feels, my 4 year old son is driving me bonkers. He licks people, touchy feely even with boys, he s angry at the slightest things. He recently told me he was gonna burn my house down so I called his dr right away. I was always concerned about him, he likes to be social but the odd stuff he does makes kids get upset with him and then he says" I don't want friends, I ll just play by myself", which breaks my heart. I try to find friends for him but they sometimes back away or I ll back away when they want to come because I don't feel like interfering all the time when keeps acting up. I don't know what to do, his father and I broke up recently so its really been bad. I'm just depressed so that doesn't help. It seems I'm the only one I know with a kid like this and its so heartbreaking for me. He refuses to listen to me and is angry with me all the time, but I love him so much and he s so adorable I wonder why he has to be like this.

Oct 23, 2011
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Back Again!
by: Cyndi

My son was FINALLY diagnosed with SPD and mild ADHD this Thursday. I was relieved to find people who noticed and realized his challenges. I have not started OT yet because it is so expensive and we are on state funded medicaid. I have been having a hard time with his new school. It is a great school but is geared toward strictness and has a staunch approach towards "problem children". I live with my sister now in a very high end neighborhood and it seems no one has any children with developmental delays or any kind of problems...... Many treat me like I am a bad parent and make me feel like I am coddling my son. His doctor says he has acute gross motor skill delays with his legs and feet and that that is why he can't do what the other kids do in gym class. His gym teacher has been repeatedly putting him in time outs for not listening or doing what he is told, but the bottom line is that he CAN'T do it. I am worried he is getting treated unfairly. I am hoping to find some support groups here in Georgia and maybe a new school that is sensitive to his needs. My heart goes out to everyone who is dealing with the negatives of the unforgiving public. You are not alone and don't give up.

Oct 23, 2011
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SPD and my 4 year old
by: Anonymous

I am responding to the post "Lost in the System" and to the couple of questions she/he posed. To quickly answer the question are these signs of SPD or autism I would have to say yes. Many SPD children exhibit the same behaviors and traits of those with autism or aspergers. However, autism is a social disease and children with this disorder have a very clear lack/desire for social interaction. Children with SPD may have a harder time socializing as other children do not understand their behavior, however, the desire to socialize is there.

I am by no means am an expert, however, I am in a very similar situation with my 4 year old son. I have always felt that my son was different than other children and for many years made myself believe that he was a sensitive child and that this sensitivity would by no means have any adverse affects on his life. However, I am truly beginning to question that theory. My son's sensitivities showed up as fear in many cases. Fear of playground equipment, haircuts, public washrooms, doctors, dentists, showers, hair brushes and getting his hair washed. He also was a picky eater and disliked the way socks and tags felt. Getting him to sleep was also tricky and we had to adapt to his needs in this area. In fact he still sleeps with us and we have just grown to accept this. He functioned ok for the most part at the day care center in which he was in from the time he was 2.

However, he did have a period where he was having regular tantrums in which were very difficult for the staff to deal with. As a 4 year old he has learned to cope with many of these things, however, new things are replacing those things and I have committed to finding him the support needed at any cost. The 2cnd week into Junior Kindergarten I got a call from the teacher concerned that he was having a difficult time figuring out what to concentrate on, he was not able to listen, his gross motor skills were delayed and he was falling a lot and walking into other kids and furniture. He was not dealing well with the noise and chaos of a junior kindergarten atmosphere and she was worried for him. So I took him to a pediatrician who said leave him be he is presenting here in my office as a well adjusted 4 year old boy.

He also stated that all 4 year old boys present with signs of ADD and processing disorders as they have not yet acquired the skills needed to concentrate and cope. I left the office feeling optimistic for 4 minutes and then reality hit me in the face as soon as we walked into our front door and the behaviors resumed. We have since met with an OT whom indicated she believes that there is some sensory things going on with him and we have scheduled a full sensory analysis for this Tuesday. I would love to hear about other families success with this disorder and I will let you know what comes of his sensory analysis.

Oct 19, 2011
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Loving a beautiful child is easy, it is loving a not-so-beautiful child that is hard.
by: Jim

Loving a beautiful child is easy, it is loving a not-so-beautiful child that is hard.

Oct 18, 2011
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Response to anonymous
by: Megan

Hi. Wow, do we have identical children! My son is also 6, and if I didn't know any better I would have SWORN you were talking about my child! He is very critical of others, meticulous, a perfectionist, and doesn't respond to positive reinforcement. It doesn't matter how much I try to tell him to relax, that life should be enjoyed for a 6 year old, and not to take everything so seriously, it doesn't matter. He won't hear it. As a mother I am so worried for him! I want to see him happy, but he just refuses to be happy. He socialized well, until the criticism kicks in. However, because of his extreme anger issues, he too has been labeled a problem child. I've been referred to some psychologists, but I just recently lost my job and therefore my insurance, so now we are facing a major dilemma. Let me know if you find some answers, and I'll keep you updated as well. Good luck.

Sep 26, 2011
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SPD Update
by: Jim

I posted in Dec 2008 about my four year old. I just thought I'd give you all an update. Read my earlier post to see where we were at then.

We went to see an OT who specialized in SPD for 6 months. It is expensive and not covered by Medical Insurance. The OT had a gym specifically for SPD and Autistic kids. He identified that our child had an inner ear balance issue. That if you spin him around very fast and then stop, he would not get dizzy or feel sick. Most peoples eyes, when they stop, should shift frm side-to-side while they re-orient themselves. My son's eys remained fixed, straight ahead. He would never get car sick. Could watch a movie on the busiest roads.

The OT suggested a few exercises, a trapeze, trampoline, push-ups, sit-ups and some balance exercises. We would do these every morning for an hour. One exercise was to put him in a trapeze the hung from the ceiling. Wind it up as tight as it would go and let it spin and swing as it unwound. The goal was to try to get his inner ear to "engage" (sorry I amy not have the exact terminology. He would then do push-ups, sit-ups, some balance work and then jump on the trampoline for 10 minutes. He loved his exercise routine and I explained to him why we did it.

He is now 7 years old. He still has issues with clothes and shoes, but well within what I would consider normal. He would wear shorts and flip-flops everyday if I let him, but today he wore jeans and runners. When he wears runners, they are so tight that I think the circulation must be cut-off, and same with his belt on his pants. But he wears them, and he now dresses "normal". Hs shoes are a zap-strap lace so he doesn't have to tie his shoes. He can tie his shoes, but it takes 10 minutes because they have to be exactly the same tightness, and the length of the laces not too long, or two short. This does not work if he's going to be in and out of his shoes at school.

But, having said all this, he is now inside the normal range, and we feel we are over the hump. He seems to do his growing in the spring (2 inches in 2 months) and then the sensitivity creeps back in, but it only lasts a month or two and then he's good again. It's like it takes a while for his nerve endings to catch up. This is when we find the deep massage helps. The brush or comb never worked.

One more thing. I had a bout of Shingles in the spring. Shingles makes your skin, particularly around your torso EXTREMELY SENSITIVE! Wearing any kind of shirt with seams or not the right texture was VERY PAINFUL. Only a light, tight cotton shirt felt goo. If the shirt had any movement, it would over stimulate the heightened nerve endings. I think I finally felt what my son feels when his clothes do not fit right!

Anyway, good luck to you all!

Sep 25, 2011
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lost in the system
by: Anonymous

wow, where do i start ? My 5 y/old son has always been quirky as i call it. He didnt sleep more than a couple of hrs per night till he was just a little past 4. Has always smelled everything & has a meltdown if he does not like the smell, he used to smell my arm when i collected him from daycare, very poor diet,hates tags & the way clothes shoes feel on him to the point of meltdown,hates change,hates people touching him & hates people looking at him in the eyes,only plays with same toy all the time.

if people buy him gifts & gets upset if we buy new furniture for the house or move his room around, scrunches up pictures he draws because he said there not perfect he will play with other kids but he will freak out if they dont play tig & chase thats all he plays constantly throwing himself on the ground & bouncing all over the furniture & climbing is weary of some noise too,the list is endless i dont know what to do , i have a meeting at school next month so i feel like im gonna need to push to get some help as he is on staged intervention just now but i feel like i am getting nowhere as most of these quirks he does outside of school ,is this common in spd or autism ? They school pschy did mention she suspected he has highly autism then she's not too sure im totally at a loss i need some advice all comments welcome thanks x

Apr 12, 2011
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I need advice for my son he's so angry and stressed all the time
by: Anonymous

My son just turned 6 and life seems so hard for him. He gets mad if does anything wrong. In school he can do the work but for some reason he doesn't think he can do it, he will shut down and get angry. Most of his anger is directed at himself. When you're telling him it's OK don't stress or any positive reinforcement he will not listen. It makes me feel bad for him kindergarten is supposed to be fun but he is always unhappy at the end of the day and doesn't want to go back. His teacher is sweet and kind. she gives him a lot of her time when she needs to be with other kids. one thing that happened was in a game we were playing with other kids, one person in The middle and the team runs by with flags on. The person in the middle tries to pull your flags off. If you get your flags pulled then your in the middle trying to pull the flags as the team runs by tell everyone's flags are pulled. Well he was the last one to get his flags pulled you would think good but he doesn't he was still very mad when his got pulled. It's like this with every thing you can't tell him good job you did what you were supposed to, it's like he can't hear you when he feels defeated. I don't know what to do I really want my son to be happy and enjoy life.

Now hes not listening to me more and more every day. I need help and don't have any answers. I have spent a lot of time with children my hole life and never seen one this angry or such a perfectionist. His teacher said the same thing. he can't keep his hands to himself and is very critical of other people.It's stress stress stress with everything. Even things that are fun where the outcome shouldn't matter, he will find a way to make it matter in a negative way towards himself. Now people see him as a trouble kid and they will always be first to believe the other kid in any situation. What do I do?

Mar 13, 2011
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Im an Occupational Therapist
by: Anonymous

Dear All,

I am an Occupational Therapist who works with children with Autism and has post grad training in Sensory integration.

Sensory modulation disorder (over or under responsive to sensory stimuli)is hypothesised to be a life long disorder.A sensory Diet is a wonderful tool to implement to enable your child to remain in the "just right" arousal level, i.e not hyper or hypo-active (high or low or fluctuating between the two).

For the sensory diet to work, all environments where your child functions (home, school, family, friends etc) will need to know how to implement the same strategies to enable your child to function and facilitate appropriate sensory choices.

Sensory diets are programmes specifically designed for your childs sensory needs to give them the correct level of sensory input in the day to help them remain in the optimal level of arousal.

They only work if they are completed!

Proprioceptive (deep pressure/ heavy work) activities only last in the nervous system for up to two hours so need to be done at regular intervals (1-2 hourly) and vestibular (movement) based activities can last up to 7 hours so would be best places in the morning and mid afternoon.

All activities will effect the nervous system so it is important to consult an OT trained in the theory of Sensory Integration to guide you in choosing the correct types of activities for your child. Some vestibular activities can actually be counter productive so its important to get professional advice.

I wish you all the very best with your children's progress.





Mar 09, 2011
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Reposting after a year and a half
by: Cyndi Moore

I still have similar problems with my son, as I had in 2009, in my last post. We have found that he has a severe Iron deficiency that has seriously affected him. Kindergarten has been tough and we are considering keeping him back. His grades are great but his immaturity is a hinderence for the entire class. I still get notes home daily and he is on a behavior program at school that seems to be slowly working. The high dose Iron supplements are really helping. I still have to correct him on NOT rubbing people, but he is better at taking direction. There is an answer out there for us and everyone here. Just keep searching and don't give up hope. There is no BAD kid, just bad parents...which none of us are :)

Mar 08, 2011
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sAME bOAT
by: Anonymous

guess what i am sailing in the same boat.We all need to get together and get heard.Our kids have these issues and there is no support for SPD. I feel my son has no where to go.

Feb 27, 2011
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i'm sailing in the sme boat
by: Anonymous

I have a 4yr old who is very bright and cute, but is very very energetic. He gets annoying to others and sometimes even to us.He acts so funny and in the process forgets that some things are not appropriate.:He also gets physical with other children and wants rough play.He sometimes gets so irritable that you just want him around.Other kids also want to stay away from him and dont like him , but he does not listen.I don't know if he has any issues or will grow out of it.We even get complains from school about physical and hurting others.

Jan 25, 2011
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only way to help your children.
by: you are what you eat

I send you all my prayers, but you must consider incorporating nature in it's most natural state as much as possible (raw vegan/ raw foodist) There are books for meals with kids, etc. Your are what you eat and kids are exposed to way too much toxic..air, food, water, t.v. (mind,)..their kidneys and livers can't detox fast enough. Pray about this and dive into the net of research. xoxo.

Jan 18, 2011
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Im at the end of my rope
by: ash

MY son... My son has always been different, i dont know what to do anymore. Hes always been difficult, he would never sleep, barely eat anything but one food, just everything you can imagine. Every year got worse, and at first i thought ok hes going through terrible twos, then ok hes changing into a little man at three, now were at four and it seems like were going backwards, my son was a late talker, and still has not perfected it which is very frustrating, since hes turned four its been terrible. Before we were able to play around and have fun color watch movies just enjoy each other now its like i dont even want to talk to him. he just started pre k, he doesn't follow directions which we expected for someone coming to school for the first time, i have to tell him everyday to keep his hands to himself, he doesn't talk to the kids, hes literally in his own world, ill give him a cup of water and hell just go pore it out in the stink, h slams doors and locks them, and will even throw himself into the door, if me oe his father tell him no hell no hell go to the other and say daddy or mommy so and so said this, you cant have a normal conversation with him because he acts like he doesnt hear you, he still will not sleep through the night and just wakes up for no reason in the middle of the night, hes loud, and now is starting to lie and cry all the time! hell cry if i tell him to put his clothes, or take a bath just anything, if you cry in front of him he wont even notice, hes just obsessed with trains thats all he talks about from morning to night since he was two and its driving me crazy!

i know somethings wrong and i think its asperger syndrome but in a couple of weeks well e paying his physician a visit, and getting that going, he also acts like he cant hear i ask him are his ears and everything ok and he says yes but you have to repeat everything like ten times, hes going for a full check up and were going to get rolling with everything to figure out whats going on because im concerned when he starts kindergarten because he cant follow directions, i dont know what to do and im depressed im miserable, im now seeing a psychiatrist, its horrible, i was so excited to take him to school every morning but now when i drop him off i get asked questions about home or i get the thirty min talk of everything he did the day before and it always ends with but itll get better and i hope it does i really do, sometimes the days are so bad i just keep thinking to myself, is this really my life, is this real? but i realize i need to be patient because my son needs me and may need professional help, so all i can do is pray

Jun 06, 2010
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Prozac
by: Anonymous

Find a psycopharmacologist(modern term for psyciatrist)that can work with you and your son to find the right mix of medications to support his therapy with a psychologist.

Psycopharmacologists are medical doctors(MDs)who have special training in determining which medicines are available and how they work with helping to modify behavior that lowers the quality of someones life.


Dec 14, 2009
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help me!
by: Cyndi M

I used to think my son was just very affectionate, but now he is 4 and his constant need to touch/hold/rub/pet me is driving me crazy. He is intelligent and funny and just a joy to be around, but he won't focus on direction or correction at all. I hate that his need to touch me has made me so irritable and it's gotten to the point where I have put him in time out for doing it. He has a type of obsession with the feel of skin. I had to take him out of pre K because once he likes a kid he does the same thing to them, and if it's a girl I get a note home. God forbid a foot be exposed... he will rub his face all over them, no joke. What can I do?

Aug 29, 2009
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you are me last year
by: Anonymous

Seriously! My son just started kindergarten. Day one, he wouldn't stay in the classroom. Day two, wouldn't stop talking in a screaming voice. Day three, kept trying to take his clothes off. Day four, kept hitting others and himself. Day five, blissfully uneventful. Get your child prepared to be labeled. Its okay to be weird. It is not okay to be mean, disrespectful. Its okay to be different. It is not okay to be dirty. Dont forget to label other kids too ie. Robbie is Hoodie boy, or Kevin is long hair boy, or Stacey is laughing girl. Labels can be an okay thing.

When we went to kindergarten orientation I took a copy of this checklist to her and explained the best I could to the teacher. We got real lucky. This teacher looked it over and said, "you know... I could probably use this for a few other kids in my class." My little man has labeled his teacher "Fuzzy hair smart lady".

Aug 28, 2009
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Your son and mine too
by: stephanie

I have read many message boards an stories from exhausted parents your story is a carbon copy of my own. In fact,If my hubby were here to read this I think his jaw would drop.

My four yr old is completely irrational. angry,difficult and sometimes destructive. Every single morning is a battle.From eating breakfast to going to using the bathroom it's constant turmoil in my home.

I had him evaluated at 3 as Fl. Dept of Ed. has a life saving program for difficult toddlers. The school psychologist will not make the official Dx because in the long run, they try to place the least severe children in basic ed by 1st or second grade. We as parents want that but what we don't know can hurt our children. I have been through this with my 12 yr old.I know all of their tricks. I have also realized that my children have many issues that my own troubled siblings have.

This is a life long situation.I have done counseling,medication,social skills groups,OT I also tried helping my son make and keep friends. It's exhausting and overwhelming.

I want you to know that early intervention is the key but my two boys will always need some type of support or help. Children that are angry are usually frustrated and that's what causes their anger. I have had different DX from different Docs but the truth is my sons have genetic behavioral problems. It's very clear to us now and I am trying everything to nip things in the bud but believe me your child may still need support long after his early intervention. Don't deny him help from the school cause later down the road he may struggle like mine and it's harder to get the help once they are older and already in basic ed.

Many parents must hire lawyers to fight for their children to get the support they need.It doesn't mean they must be in a special ed class either,they can still have an IEP and attend regular basic ed. I wish someone told me all of this tears ago but you have the info now so get the ball rolling with your schools district about their early intervention plans. Sometimes they will not inform you so you will have to be your child advocate. Their budgets are being cut alot so they aren't exactly screening kids like they used to back in the 90s.

My sons are very intelligent and my four yr old began speaking very well at 2 so It's not that they can;t learn but their emotional problems get in the way and that is why people grow up to be dysfunctional and many end up in jail and on drugs. This happened to my brothers and one has an IQ of 142. Don't let another day go by...Schools are required to help even if it's not a learning disorder.

Jan 20, 2009
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PLEASE try brushing
by: Amanda

Please anyone who is at the end of their rope, find a doctor to write you a order for you to a have a sensory evaluation by a Occupational Therapist. The gentlemen who comented on here with the 4 year old, by Jim. That was my story word for word, it's unreal to hear how other parents are going through the same situations.

But so true, I encourage Jim and anyone else to continue with the therapy to set up the right sensory diet or to go get an evaluation done. I am a Occupational Therapy Assistant, but mostly work with the elder population so I know of sensory issues, but not enough.

I took my 4 year old to get a evaluation and we started the deep brushing.. oh my, such a change, not cured, but it has just helped enough to get through the mornings.

She has tried on clothes that she never would have dreamed of, she never used to button her pants because she said they were too loose (when in fact it surely didn't seem that way), now she is buttoning them at least 50-75% of the time. She has worn a couple of sweaters which she NEVER would before, it has just really helped enough so far to make our mornings less stressful and I haven't went to work crying for about a month.

I let her pick out her own clothes, we were down to only 4 shirts she would wear, now she is trying others, some days she's ok with some and other days she may go back to the 4 shirts. We are still working on shoes, socks have become much easier, shoes she has only one pair she likes but she won't fasten the velcro straps... but it's so much easier to deal with some rather than all that was going on.

So please give OT a try, they can help you find things that will help your child so that the little things don't interfere with their daily routine.

Jan 14, 2009
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Fight response
by: Sara

Hello-

My four year old son was recently diagnosed with SPD, Anxiety Disorder with Panic Attacks, Distorted Eating Behavior, and now probable ADHD (which to be quite honest after reading all the stories on this website appear to be SPD.) He too is a very angry, aggressive little boy. We started noticing something was very different about him in early infancy.

Now as a little boy who can communicate, my son begs us to eat whenever he is frustrated or upset (which in his world is nearly all the time.) When I would bring up the topic of an eating disorder to his pediatrician I would simply get "we don't diagnose eating disorders in children so young." Denying him the ability to "cope" (my son's only self soothing or coping skill) often sends him into a fight response that will result in physical aggression. The frustrations escalate so quickly I find it hard to believe he consciously makes a choice to become aggressive. He has no coping skills, no way to self soothe other than eating and at 76 pounds it has to stop.

We attend weekly appointments with a psychologist who tries to teach him coping and self soothing skills. I don't know if it's his age or the SPD but when he spends 85% of his day frustrated and angry he won't grasp onto what we're teaching. It seems to make him more frustrated when we try to talk to him when he's escalating. He is so out of control he just lashes out at anyone who nears him.

We started OT and when doing the Heavy Work program my sweet boy is there with that smile that used to light up the room. For 20 minutes a week my eyes are filled with tears of joy and my heart which normally aches for his frustration and aggression feels the day it did when he came into this world.

He has many sensitivities, and is often consumed with anger. We're just getting started ourselves in his diagnoses, treatment and making transformations in our life to lessen his frustration level.

What I have learned is he has two responses to his inability to cope with anything... fight or flight. When the fight response comes into factor normally you would use your coping skills to work your way through it and because he can't grasp those skills we're left with him to fight, even those who love him immensely. I hope I was able to help but as I said we're just starting out. Please keep in touch or e-mail me with any questions.
sara.dickmann@yahoo.com

Dec 16, 2008
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Our 4 year old shows signs of SPD too
by: Jim

Our 4 year old son has been showing signs of SPD since about the age of 3. It first started with the need for his shoes to be excessively tight-his feet sometimes go numb. He also likes his pants tight. I recently bought a belt for his pants - he tightens it so tight I think he's going to cut off the circulation in his legs.

He has difficulty wearing long sleeve shirts, but will if we force him to. He has only 3 shirts (all short sleeve) and 3 pairs of pants that he will wear. Once we find a pair he'll wear, we buy every color. Getting ready for school can take 1-2 hours.

What's odd is, in the right circumstance he will wear clothing that I think (if he had SPD), would be unbearable. When we play hockey, he insists on wearing a hockey jersey (which is not a soft comfortable shirt) - but when we stop playing, off it comes. We were skiing, and he had no problem wearing ski pants, jacket and boots - although the base layer is a tight pair of long underwear, so that may help.

Summer is our best time of year as he will wear shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops from May-Sep. but come Fall, we start to stress.

For food, he is a very basic eater. Bland is the word - no party in your mouth food. He eats, carrots, broccoli, coli-flower, peas and corn-on the cob; chicken fingers, fish sticks, pizza (cheese only); apples, raspberries, water melon. He will only eat dry cereal (honey nut cheerios), so I give him a glass of milk with them. We also give him a nutritional shake each morning (Nutrimeal from www.usana.com).

He loves loud music, particularly "awesome guitar music" - his words. I imagine him as an adult wearing those tight jeans with pencil thin legs - Mick Jagger like.

We seem to be managing. I've lost my temper on several occasions, and felt like crap for several days. I realize that he is suffering, but it sometimes feels like just a control issue, and I'm determined to win! The days I have most success is when I have the time and patience to sit down and talk to him. I noticed one person said that their child told them their "brain wasn't working right". My son told me once "my brain is making me do things I don't want to do" - very insightful for a 4 year old, but a schock to hear! We try to tell him, when things are getting very irrational, that he needs to listen to his heart and do what it tells him - this works with moderate success.

We've taken him to an OT once, but don't believe he officially diagnosed him. When we go through the SPD checklist, there are 11 items we can check off.

We are hopeful that once he is old enough, he will be able to rationalize his sensory issues and either ignore or avoid them.

I'm not sure if he has SPD - he certainly has symptoms. Are there any adults out there with SPD? How are they coping? What is life like as an adult? Are they able to wear normal clothes, eat Indian, Thai, or Japanese food?


Dec 15, 2008
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John Heinz???
by: Gina

Is there a John Heinz or Allied Rehabilitation Center in your area? My son is 3 and 1/2 and shares many of your son's behaviors. He goes to John Heinz in Hazleton, PA and they are very good with him. Is there also an Early Intervention agency you can contact?

Dec 15, 2008
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Don't give up!
by: Anonymous

Your totally right, your son needs for occupational therapy with someone knowledgeable with sensory disorder. Seek out and EasterSeals near your area, I am sure they can help you... In the mean time don't stop trying, you will eventually find the right help.

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