My daughter's behavior

by Melissa B.
(NY)

this is her sweet look!!

this is her sweet look!!

I have two daughters ages 3 and 4 who have been diagnosed with the SPD, verbal dyspraxia, coordination dyspraxia, my 3 year old has an eating disorder and my 4 year old has behavioral disorder.


This is my major question.... my children attend a special needs preschool and they are both very intelligent children(and manipulative). While they are at school my 4 year old is an absolute angel, does nothing wrong, no outbursts,temper tantrums and no crying.

When I talk to the teacher about her behavior at home I feel as if she may think I am crazy, almost like I am a munch hauzen mother. Or else they feel as if I have alot of children (7 total)and that I am probably at the end of my rope and am letting her behavior slip.I can assure you I am not.

My children have the diagnosis from the Department of Pediatrics Center for Development, behavior and genetics. So for that part I know I am not crazy. But I was wondering how do they hold it in for the time that they are at school?

When she comes home off the bus her face is all distorted and scowled,I am unable to accomplish anything out in public after she gets home and she is literally exhausted. She is a very demanding child to begin with who has ripped doors off of hinges, ruined my couch and furniture from her jumping on it,went through 4 cribs as a baby,and rules the house,is very demanding,intrusive,and yet can be sssooo sweet to other people.

I was wondering if anyone had encountered the same problem. Please reply soon!!

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Feb 04, 2009
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Thanks
by: Melissa B

Well that makes me feel alot better. I was really beginning to feel like maybe this was all me. I am trying to explain to them how he behaves at home and obviously she must not have alot of experience with children and SPD, because she really thinks it is maybe me, but like I said she is young and not as experienced as I would prefer.

At this point I feel like she will have a hard time in kindergarten, that day will be over 6 hours. I am afraid of her now when she comes home after three. We see the specialist on Friday after being on a waiting list for 6 months and over 90 miles away. I am very excited to see what he will say. I will post again then. Until then I thank you.

Feb 01, 2009
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by: marisa

My son is the same way. He is a well behaved student, follows directions etc. and I used to think the teachers thought I was crazy because I was describing a totally different child. His O.T. and RSP teacher said that some children with sensory disorder or autism can function in social situations and know they are different and know how they should act. Also my son's teacher is very structured and he craves that.

With 5 kids it's hard to stay structured all the time! I think he holds it together at school and at home can release his energy and be himself. It's something we're trying to deal with. His behavior is opposite at home.

You're not alone! good luck!

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