Our little HM boy!

by J's mommy
(gainesville,va)

I am the mother of a 6 year old beautiful boy who was diagnosed with spd 2 1/2 years ago. He is very intelligent and very sweet. Most of the time I did not know if he was doing normal young kid behavior, or If I was doing bad parenting.


I found my relief when I did some research and read the "Out of sync child". He had been with a private OT for 2 1/2 years and has done well, but I still feel like his anger and emotions are still out of control. We can have a wonderful day and then the next day he is out of control? The anger issues have gotten worse since he has started school, he comes home and acts obnoxious,and is rude.

I was really starting to think it was my discipline. Until, I found this website on the anger issues. It makes me feel like I found the "aha" again. When I discipline my son gets very angry, he'll hit and scream which makes me want to scream... help!

I am worried what my 3 year old is taking in? My son is so smart and funny and happy, but there are a lot of times that our outings as a family (vacation, partys etc. ) are miserable and we don't enjoy them or just don't do them.I could go on and on, but,I would love to hear how others are coping with anger and how to discipline the correct way!

I want him to have confidence in himself.

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too quick to judge
by: Anonymous

I I can't help but wonder why you are so quick to sue the school?Have you tried therapy, behavior modification before the lawyer?The kids and teacher may be reacting to HIS outbursts and poor behavior. Not the other way around. Im sure it is disruptive and frustrating to spend 8 hrs. a day trying to teach a full classroom of students with needs of their own. Yes be the best advocate for your son. A proper diagnosis, maybe a smaller class for him etc..

Good Luck. Hope you get your son the help he needs.

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We are our children's advocate
by: Anonymous

I have a six year old in Kinder. I asked for a group assessment before he entered school. They put him in a special day class where we have found out he doesn't belong. His cognitive and verbal reasoning are in the superior range. We've been told they warehoused him, they have set him up not to graduate from high school, and his teacher is a joke. The school OT says all his deficits are do to SPD but they aren't addressing it. My son cries at school everyday sometimes up to 5 times for as long as 20 minutes. He talks back, hits other students and most days has a hard time completing his assignments. He is below grade level in everything and I can't stand his teacher. She is not sympathetic at all to my child and the first and second graders in his class are very mean to him. I think she encourages that.

We have hired an attorney who specializes in this and he has started a do process case for how they have mismanaged my child. I look at it like this, we are paving the way for children who will come after him so they maybe won't have to fight so hard. We are our children's strongest advocate. We no longer have to feel we are bad parents. Our children have a hidden handicap. It's our job to make sure others see it.

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confused and worn out
by: Anonymous

My son is 7 and has been diagnosed with SPD. He has been put in a special behavior classroom where he is only one out of ten children. The children all have different issues that make it difficult for them to function in a regular classroom. My sons behavior in the classroom went from out of control at the regular school to awesome in the smaller setting. The problem now is he still rides the regular bus to his home school and is then transported to his new school, which is another 40 mins away. He is still having behavior issues on the regular bus but now on the van ride (smaller setting again) to his new school. He will hit or bit the other students and when confronted about it he always says he dont remember it or the other kid did something to him first. When he says he dont remember it, he is very convincing. I dont know if there is something with his disorder that may cause him to "forget" his out of control behavior or not. Has anyone else experienced this?

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Little Dragon
by: Anonymous

We are very blessed. My 5yr old has so many issues we now call them subscriptions. We tried dance classes. Lasted two Classes before he was asked not to comeback till he gains more self control. Gymnastics lasted four. Same ending. Tang Soo Do has been 10,yes ten, classes. He's quite proud of being a Little Dragon and the instructors not only help with balance, dexterity,manners, respect, following instruction, working as a team independently, but they are also helping him understand that this was a choice that he made and that he will have bad days and there will be days that are so easy they will be boring but this is a choice that he made and now they expect him there.

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I thought it was just me!
by: Lisa

Carolyn!

Thank you for your comments. My son just turned 6. He also has a summer birthday. As a matter of fact, his birthday is ON the cutoff day. We start school here at the beginning of August, and his birthday is August 1st. He just started first grade, yesterday, I guess it is now. I work third shift, and my days run together a lot of times.

My son has had problems since a very early age, with headbanging before he was even out of the crib. However, we only have actually gotten a diagnosis of SPD and ADHD just a few weeks ago, and in hindsight it makes an awful lot of sense.

I also tried the TaeKwon Do route with my explosive little bundle of wonders. But, when he could not keep up and focus as well as a lot of the other children, he lost interest. We may take it up again later in the year when things get under control some.

When he was in Kindergarten, he almost got suspended for kicking another child in the eye (I am not sure if he was aiming or not) because the other boy wanted to play and my son did not want to play with him!

Recently, I have noticed that his behavior has become even more explosive, and in the last couple of weeks, he has actually started trying to throw my furniture. I have glass-top end tables, and he would actually flip them over, has thrown baby gates, and gets extremely aggressive with myself, my boyfriend, and his 3 year old sister.

I have also begin reading the Out of Sync Child at the suggestion of his mental health therapist (we have not been able to get him evaluated for OT yet..had some insurance hurdles to hop through, as his insurance through his dad's work would not pay for OT, and I had to apply for Medicaid for him to get it covered). I am finding it rather insightful, but have not gotten too far into it yet.

I am at a loss and feeling very alone, as my ex-husband has done a lot of hemming and hawing, and given me the "he is just a normal boy" attitude and runaround.

I am sorry that I do not have any insight, but thank you for making me feel a little less alone in this!. We are going to try cub scouts this year, and see if that will help any, as my little bundle of energy is very competitive and very goal-oriented. He is also a perfectionist so we will see how this pans out.

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Worn out
by: Anonymous

What a relief to hear others are experiencing this too. My son is 5 1/2 and has been a sensory seeker since he was 3 1/2. We're at our limit and are so worn out with his behavior. He's so sweet and smart as a whip....but can be so mean, loud and hands-on! How does a parent like us effectively discipline these types of behaviors???

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Sounds familiar
by: Carolyn

Your son sounds just like mine. My little boy is 5 and in Kindergarten. We started having trouble when he was about 3 and it has just gotten worse.

One minute he is fine and the next something sets him off and he is angry. Yesterday he got in trouble with his teacher for pushing other children in the room, she made him move his card to yellow. After that he threw his shoes and glasses at the teacher.

He has poor fine motor skills and I really feel like he wasn't ready for K. He has a summer birthday and so he is the youngest in the class. Taking him out anywhere is a gamble.

We put in TaeKwonDo but he can't seem to handle the small group without getting into trouble. I thought it was just all poor parenting and having older siblings but now I am beginning to think differently.

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