Quiet

I was diagnosed as a child. My mother went through a lot to get me services and I managed to adapt fairly well. I went through a lot of OT and PT. We moved around a lot, which didn't really help. I craved structure but every three years or so there was no structure and there wouldn't be for at least a few months. There was no room or space to go to to calm down. My mother could only do so much to make sure I was prepared. I kind of had to learn to self regulate. The minute I was able to read, things got better. There's a kind of calmness with staying in one spot for hours, reading. I quickly excelled in school. I remember my mom crying when she heard I was being put in advanced classes. She tells me that I wasn't a happy child for a long time, that the first time I laughed was during OT and I was two years old. I'm a published author now. I got better-ish.

Sometimes I have to leave restaurants when it's too loud. There are clothes I hate and I catch myself smelling things sometimes. I couldn't speak full sentences until I was six and I starred in my high school's play, was captain of my own debate team. I really benefited from early treatment. I know that this is never going to go away. I've realized that. But I'm going to college and I was given a lot of money to go. This doesn't have to be a weakness. This doesn't have to be some horrible flaw. My writing has only ever flourished because me, people with this, we feel the world and see the world and smell it all at once. Sensory overload, craving the world around us, if it's regulated, given in small doses- I've managed to put feelings into words.

I've managed to write about things that only someone with SPD would know. I'm rambling now but know that this doesn't have to defeat you. This doesn't make you odd or wrong. There's a lot going on, I know, but there's a way to quiet the world. It just might take some time.