Wondering Why I Chose Motherhood

by Karen
(St. Clair Shores, MI, USA)

Hello. Wow. Lots of descriptions and problems/issues here. Well, here is mine. I have a 6.5 year old who will be entering 1st grade in a few weeks. He was evaluated and treated at a speech pathologist office for Semantic Pragmatic Disorder some years back. The therapy ended when his therapist moved and my son refused to look at or reply to the new therapist. He had an accident a few years back on a playscape and knocked out 5 of his front teeth.


Most everything needs to be ground or chopped and mixed together. He will not eat foods that are "separated" on a dish. For instance. We make some stewed chicken with chopped veggies, chop up or shred the chicken when its cooked, mix it back with the rest of the stewed chopped veggies and add cooked rice or thin egg noodles to it. We add a couple slices of cheese to add in calcium. That is his meal. He wants to be fed most of the times. The only thing he will eat himself is plain (no sauce no nothing) spaghetti with Parmesan cheese, a particular Italian roll that only one market in town has, toasted bread (only that market also has kind of bread), french fries from McDonalds, Burger King, Rams Horn or Big Boy (will not eat home made fries or fries elsewhere), Ritz Crackers, Wheat Thin Crackers (original shape and flavor) or Triscuit Crackers (original shape and flavor). Once in a while he will have a few Cheerios or some organic cereal in a bowl without milk. Once in a while he will ask for some white American cheese cut up into 4 even square pieces. Breakfast is Cream of Wheat with a teaspoon of ground flax seed meal for extra fiber, a little organic sugar and cinnamon. Once in a while he will be okay with eating an egg fried in olive oil, as long as it's not over cooked. Pizza? Only thin crust cheese and pepperoni pizza from Dolly's Pizza and their "cheezy bread" as long as everything is not over cooked or too crispy.

He was drinking milk from a bottle up until a few months ago (refused to give it up) when the nipple shred and NUK does not make them anymore. So we resorted to having him start drinking milk from a cup with a straw. Takes him about 2 hours to drink 4 ounces. We dealt with that for about 6 weeks. I resorted to getting him yogurt made by Stoneyfield Farms because a little 4.5 ounce pack has 20% of the RDA for calcium and I think 15% for Vitamin D. Most other yogurts around town have only calcium. Stoneyfield organics (although I think the texture is disgusting for those yogurts) have the most nutrients, necessary for growing bones and bodies of little ones. We still try with the milk. Each time he starts to cry saying it will take him too long. He can down an 8 oz glass of water in about 5-10 minutes, but milk...he just won't swallow or can't swallow it. Eating the yogurt is a task as well. He refuses to eat it unless I give it to him. He always promises me every day that he will eat a yogurt at my parents home or drink a small glass of milk but he never holds to the promise. My parents panick because he is without milk all day.

Giving meds is another task in itself. We have to hold his arms back and give it to him with a needleless syringe.

It's sooooo difficult. It's not getting easier. My daughter constantly tells my son to try new foods and that he is missing out and he gets upset with her and with us whenever we say things like that.

School starts in a few weeks. Since he won't eat sandwiches, I will have to resort to warming food for him and putting it a thermos container every day. What do I do for milk? I know he won't eat the yogurt himself. Even if I give him milk in a thermos as well (he does not like cold milk, although at this point he does not seem to be liking milk at all). What can I do to make him eat like a human? I want to sit at the table with my kids and eat while they eat. It has not been like that.

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Aug 12, 2015
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Smoothie
by: Anonymous

Spoon feed the smoothie. Make it thick enough and tell him it's called mommy's apple sauce. Good luck to you too.

Aug 11, 2015
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Thanks
by: Anonymous

Thank you for the update. I appreciate it, and it's helpful to see how things can change (or not change) over time. My 3-year-old still only gets his milk from a bottle. He won't drink it through a straw or from a cup the regular way. He also won't drink it cold, so I have to warm it slightly. He drinks juice (not cold) from a straw though, so that's good. Unfortunately I can't get him to drink a smoothie or I would make one every day. :-)

Thanks again, and I hope everything keeps getting better for you, as well as the rest of us. I totally understand how frustrating it is.

Aug 11, 2015
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Did it get any better?
by: Karen

Here we are a few years later. He takes bread to school and 2 slices of cheese folded up into 4 pieces per slice in a separate container. He also takes some snacks like cereal or crackers. He was eventually diagnosed with ADHD and we had to medicate him because all the "alternative and natural" remedies were not working and he was getting into trouble with a non-understanding and quite horrific teacher. The medication decreases his appetite so there are many times he comes home with the lunch bag still full of things. Once every so often I take fries to him. I may even order a pizza on pizza day from the place he eats pizza from and have him share it with some friends. So pizza is still from one place. Oh sometimes I give him a thermos with spaghetti but again, for him to actually eat is considered miraculous. He still is very short tempered. He only eats yogurt. Medicines are still difficult to take. Now we have braces too. Makes things on the food end a little more difficult because he uses it as an excuse of food hurting his braces so he can't eat. When the other students bring in birthday treats, he will not eat them unless they are plain hersheys chocolate bars. At home I sometimes need to spoon feed him certain things. It's gotten tiring and worn me down. Having to work full time and have to deal with that daily is crazy. There are some things I learned though with the ADHD meds to keep his weight up.

I make his fruit and veggie smoothies every other night (enough for 2 servings) and put a scoop of Organic Whey Protein (plain) powder in the smoothie. I also add 1/2 of a calcium tablet, 1/2 of a vitamin D, 2 chelated zinc tablets and a 500 mg wafer of vitamin C. Why? These are things ADHD kids on meds and not on meds are deficient in. These things help. A LOT. Another thing I do which I know sounds gross is add in a half of an Omega 3 fish oil. I've researched all this and found that everything works better and it keeps his weight up. The Whey also gives him additional calcium which is a big plus.

Easier. No. Wherever we go on vacation has to be at vacation rental homes so I can have a kitchen to cook all our meals. It's tiring and ridiculous but I can't do different at this point. Just keep hoping that things will fall into place. This is his last year in elementary school.

Aug 11, 2015
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Did it ever get any better?
by: Anonymous

Hi Karen:

I was wondering if you still visit this site and if your son got any better with food over time, since you last posted in 2011. He sounds very much like my son, who is 3 years old with severe oral defensiveness. I kept nodding my head while reading your story. Like your son, mine will eat fries, but only from certain place, like McDonald's, etc. I too am very worried about what he will eat when he starts school in the future. I cannot bring him McDonald's fries every day. I was just wondering how everything worked out... Thanks for your story. It helps me to know there are other moms out there with the same troubles.



Aug 12, 2011
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Re: comments
by: Karen

I am not sure what else to say. He loved milk when he was able to drink it from a bottle. He says it just won't go down. People have said that maybe his enlarged adenoids may be the problem there. I get fresh fruits in him by making thick smoothies, which we need to give by spoon, he refuses to drink that by straws or by itself. Every day is a definite task. He often tells me he is sorry for what he does and how he upsets me. I told him that if he is sorry about something, it means he wants to change the way he is doing that something, but he doesn't. So I told him I do not want apologies until he knows he can make a change to what he is being sorry for. Last night I decided to leave things in God's hands. God can handle it the way He knows.

Aug 12, 2011
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Just reading first page is painful
by: Anonymous

Reading your son's food list is painful as I can so relate. However, I had the same issues as a child and and I grew up to be healthy and love exotic gods foods. I still can't stand for my foods to touch each other, and cannot make myself eat casseroles. I gag and throw up trying to drink milk-please understand your son wants to be normal probably more than you want him to.He has to save face and will probably always be somewhat defensive.Read the book Don't Drink Your Milk.Cows milk is overrated for getting calcium and actually causes anemia. I wish I didn't have to be a short order cook as well, however at least there are a few foods our sons will eat.One friend's son at age 12 will only eat baby food due to texture issues.I feel for you and want to read more.I also feel for my parents who raised a child with these issues when no one acknowledged that out might be more than me just being difficult. Namaste

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