Are SPD Kids more Defiant?


We cannot get our daughter to do anything she doesn't want to do. She is in school and we are having all kinds of problems with her cooperating. She refuses to write, read, do the math games...she is 6 and has been reading for a year and we know she can write her name and do simple math. It's so frustrating because we want her teacher to know how smart she is.

We waited a year and put her in Kindergarten because she wasn't emotionally ready for 1st grade, even though acedemically we think she is. However she won't do her work so they think she doesn't know anything! I don't know if our daughter is just bored because she knows the stuff already or just being stubborn or it's a control thing.

Anyone else experience this?

We also cannot get her to use the toilet by herself or other simple things that we know she can do (we know she can because she has done it at OT when we're not there).

Thanks for any feedback you can give.

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Oct 02, 2009
by: Heather, Calif

I was curious what kind of SPD she has. My daughter was tortured by sound, scared to death of the toilet flushing we made a deal that my self or my husband would flush for her after she left the bathroom. My daughter also found the school experience so draining. My stepmom a 30yr. special ed. teacher put SPD like this:

Imagine you are driving with your kids in the car. Imagine you are picking up more kids and taking everyone to a party. Your happy and you have your radio on while the kids are happily talking in excitement. Now imagine it starts to drizzle and the road is getting wet. Now there is a down pour and your not sure if you've made the right turn, you immediately turn down your radio and ask the kids to be quiet so you can concentrate on driving.

Kids with SPD can't turn the radio down and ask anyone to be quiet this is the overwhelming, stressed out, way they live at school. Imagine how cranky you might be by the time you arrived at the party, you might feel like you just need a minute to relax. But your at a loud kids party and you know eventually you've got to get home in the bad weather. Everyday for SPD kids, this is everyday.

It took my daughter until she was 11 to show how smart she was on paper. She was a terrible test taker and she thought that meant she was dumb. We actually had to let school grades take a backseat to self esteem. We told her teachers that we were more concerned for her happiness at school than if she got a good grade. Elementary was painful for all of us, but eventually she out grew alot of issues and is an extremely successful middle school student.

Don't push too hard you have to realize that she works harder than most just to sit in a classroom,let her teachers understand that as well. Eventually she will mature and be able to handle more but it does take longer than most.

Oct 01, 2009
by: april

hey, yes I went though these same things. and found that my daughter worked best when I change up things by singing or using music. Pampers has a CD w/ potty training songs on it. I would even make up silly ways of saying things then when she did what was need I gave her candy as a reward. I hope this helps! good luck,

Oct 01, 2009
by: Lorinda

Have you tried a reward system? I have a chart on my fridge and my daughter receives stickers when she does the tasks we know she can - getting dressed, brushing her teeth, washing her hands etc. I know at school a similar system is used. For the first little while, it may take more than stickers, maybe get to be a special helper at school. You'll have to find her "currency" or her "trigger" Each kid is different.

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