Clothing sensitivity..... please help

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Clothing sensitivity..... please help

My daughter is 4 1/2 years old and cannot for the life of her wear clothes. One day something will be okay enough to wear and the next day nothing is okay. We will literally go through all of her drawers, her entire closet, and the literally 20 pairs of underwear we have bought and nothing will "feel okay".

My big question is should i let my 4 year old go commando, i feel like in a way i'm letting her get away with this behavior but on the other hand i feel like if i'm making her wear them it's like telling a kid okay sit in this tub of scalding water and like it. i'm so frustrated but sad at the same time, we are constantly fighting her to get her dressed and i don't like the relationship we have anymore, we have never been like this and it is only over clothes she will fight me, she was just diagnosed with sensory integration about a month ago... i just dont know what to do getting dressed is a part of everyday life. She can't walk around naked everyday!!!!

please help!!! my email is mary032086@yahoo.com if you have any advice or thoughts!!! thank you!!

p.s. i have also threatened to keep her home from preschool (which she loves) and it just ends up with her hitting and screaming ... which is not like her!!!!

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Clothing sensitivity..... please help

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Feb 08, 2012
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Glad we aren't alone!
by: Anonymous

My daughter is 10 years old and has been very sensitive since about age 4 or 5. She was late to school everyday because she would have to arrange her socks in just the way the seams would feel OK. Smart Knit socks don't have any seams, these have been life savers ever since I discovered them! My daughter has an absolutely horrible time with underwear. One style might work for a month, and then she cannot even touch the fabric anymore. Hanna Andersson underwear has flat seams and "good" fabric, for now. It might be worth giving those a try. Good luck!

Jan 14, 2012
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underwear idea
by: Kay

i recently came up with a design of underwear for my granddaughter. And she is wearing underwear now! Find a soft stretchy fabric, would suggest you let the child feel the fabric to make sure they like the way it feels. Using a pair of underwear as a pattern, cut both sides open and lay flat. It will look similar to a Pampers. Lay the cut underwear on the fabric and cut them out, leaving enough that you can adjust and trim off. I also made the leg opening larger so the underwear would be loose are the thighs. Fold up the fabric and sew each side. Have the child try them on until you get them the right fit around the waist. Of course the seams will be on the outside, as many children have problems with seams touching their skin. The fabric I used was a very soft spandex. By using this fabic, there was no need for elastic. Also use high grade, soft thread. Within an hour my daughter and I had made her 5 pairs of underwear.

Nov 29, 2010
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Sharon...first breathe
by: Mary

First and foremost i would like to thank everyone for helping me and my daughter so much, she is doing amazing now (comparatively).

Sharon.... Step away from the situation for a day just forget about it ... i know that sounds ridiculous and impossible but it is not. My ah-ha moment was the day my father wanted to take my daughter and i out for lunch and she through an all out fit hitting me, screaming to the point of almost vomiting,because she had to wear pants (without underwear) my father said that's enough about an hour into it (in his comforting papa voice) -- "mary go outside for 15 mins. - kylie come here" -- he gave her a hug calmed her down and i calmed down. Two things happened I got to rethink the situation (remembering she does not have control of this) and realizing for the first time that everytime she cried it was worse(her senses were heightened by 1000x) and hugs work --not just for comfort but for the input ...

Soooo... I would suggest calling everyday to the OT and asking if they had a cancellation (i did this and it only took a week for the office to finally get sick of me calling and fit us in) ... Also, start running, jumping, push-ups- anything that gives your child "input". keep a calm attitude and voice and our miracle remedy is acknowledging that it doesn't feel good "I know these underwear are uncomfortable hunny, i understand... lets take a deep breath and get through this together." my father has a "magic spray" and amazing hugs for the rare occasion he get her dressed, my husband has a dance party with her for 5 mins. my mother gets her out the door with my 50 lb. almost 4 foot tall 5 and 1/2 year old on her hip bc she found if you get her out and in the car quick enough she gets over it faster ... and I ... MOMMY extrodonair ... I bounce her on my lap and i give her big hugs and i stretch those underwear until they look like they are going to split and sit on them and do everything she has come up with with me to make them feel better, then we run out the door.

NOW>... I know that is a lot but that is the point- it takes a lot and a lot of support and loving people around you and your daughter. you can get through this ... you will get through this. Just listen to your instincts and more importantly listen to your daughter. and dont worry about the latest fashions .. just what is necessary.

good luck and much support. if you still feel lost and found any light in my advice you can email me -- mary032086@yahoo.com -- trust me i understand completely!!!!

Nov 29, 2010
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HELP
by: sharon

I have a 5 year old Daughter in the summer she is happy and content but come the winter she will not wear jumpers, socks, Coats, hats, gloves etc she has been told she has SPD last year but the OT discharged her instead of keeping her under review. Now she has got even worst will not get dressed wants to wear shorts and tee shirts in freezing weather.. Will not leave the house if she can help it.. Keeps shutting doors, hates bumps in my rugs, has to have all my teaspoons by her side with every meal. Is late for school most days as i can get her dressed... I am a prisoner in my own home i know its hard for my daughter, have been to my GP and health visitor and told i have to wait 6 months to be seen.. I cant cope that long and am worried about my daughters health.. We need help in the United Kingdom people really need to know more about this as there is NO support am left to cope alone....

Nov 16, 2010
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NO clothes at all!
by: Anonymous

I have yet to read about a child with SPD who can't wear any clothes most days - some days old PJs without any underwear or socks of course, works. This little 8 yr. old girl cannot go to school; she does her math and writing at home and plays her violin and guitar, which she loves. She is extremely bright, reading at a 13 yr. old level. Problems started when she was 4, but she just didn't wear underwear and wore soft pants and shirts; last month she started screaming that all of her clothes hurt, burned, itched and spent many days naked, not even being able to lie down on a bed or sit on a couch - she sleeps in a silky sleeping bag ON a bed now. It's hard getting her to a drs. as she sobs and writhes until she can get home and be naked.

Oct 13, 2010
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Dont feel so alone now
by: Anonymous

I always knew something wasn't quite right with my daughter and it was only when she was 5 last year she was tested and told she had SPD but touch sensitive area only...

Winter is the worst time of the year for me as she will not wear tights, socks, Shoes or boots or even a coat or anything with long sleeves..
Before i found this site i felt so alone having to cope with a simple thing like dressing my daughter and the temper tantrums i have to deal with its very hard when you have no support and other people dont understand what SPD is? More needs to be done for people to understand what us and the children with SPD live with everyday.

Sep 10, 2010
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not alone
by: Anonymous

All of these comments are so familiar! My daughter started complaining about socks/shoes and pants when she first could speak. She is almost 5yrs now and the daily battle continues. But in the last 3 years her tactile defensiveness has gotten worse. She will only wear dresses. But only certain dresses...it's all about the texture! Over this summer, her bathing suits and underwear became new obstacles. I would love to let her go cammando, except she only wears dresses! YIKES! Not an option for us :(

She also has issues with food/ getting her hands wet/ washing her face/ brushing her hair/etc....

She does go to OT and the theraplay does help! Giving her "input" when she needs it is so important too. I've learned so much about how to help her when she seems stressed/overwhelmed. Like a BIG bear hug can calm her when she's at the end of that nasty tantrum because she can't pick which pair of shoes because they ALL BOTHER HER!!! It you haven't found a GREAT occupational therapist who understands SPD....look for one! It can help you find some sanity in your morning routine! I know it has helped ours. (but there still are bad days!)

Sep 02, 2010
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7 year old daughter
by: Anonymous

Hi Have i have had this problem with my daughter since she was 3 she is now 7 and still having the problems i also feel there is no one interested in helping you and as a family we seem to be tearing apart at the seems with this problem. I let my daughter go comando at 4 years old under instructions of my health visitor as she said it was a phase but would not advise it as you cannot go back years later which we are experiencing my daughter hates pants, sock, trousers, shoes and tight tops nearly everything and her moods are getting out of control she goes to school every morning crying along with myself going to work as i have to force a school uniform on her even though i let her go without her tie etc. AARGGGGGGHHHHHH just feel like screaming most days.

Apr 21, 2010
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clothing sensitivity
by: Anonymous

I am aware of a case of a patient who has severe sensitivity to clothing and what has helped her the most is actually seeing an allergist and getting biofeedback. She cannot wear clothes that are too tight and cannot stand elastic waistbands or anything tight on her skin. The difference with the allergy treatments as well as the biofeedback has been amazing.

Apr 13, 2010
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not alone
by: Anonymous

Great to hear we're not alone!

Most sites I found about sensory issues were about children with other diagnoses like autism, etc.

My DD just turned 4, and she has absolutely no developmental issues whatsoever.

Since she was about 18 mths old she's had sensory issues with clothing on and off. We are now experiencing a spike.

At 18 mths I noticed the first sign when all of a sudden she wouldn't wear footed pajamas. I actually cut all of the feet of of them.

The winter this year wasn't bad (as long as she was wearing comfy cotton), but now her issues are back in full effect.

She won't wear leotards, some underwear, most pants, a long sleeved shirt with a jacket, etc.

I have learned to let it go and that it's okay for her not to wear socks or underwear, etc. I live in Canada though, and it gets mighty cold here, so it's a challenge when she really should be wearing more clothes then she does to stay warm.

Have your children been officially diagnosed, and has anyone done brushing therapy? If so, do you notice a difference?

Apr 09, 2010
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clothes
by: Anonymous

Yes, my children go without underpants. My five year old wears them to kindergarten, finally, but takes them off the minute he walks in the door. I found underpants for boys and girls that have covered elastic, the elastic drove them crazy.

Try only cotton jersey clothes, soft t shirts, etc.

Good luck. It gets better.

Apr 07, 2010
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This may help
by: Steven Michaelis

There is more and more research that links tactile and other sensory sensitivities to poor communication and synchronisation between the two brain halves. An effective way of improving the processing functions in the brain is to listen to specially altered sound or music through headphones as pioneered by Dr. Alfred Tomatis (Tomatis method) and Dr. Guy Bérard (Auditory Integration Training - AIT).

Now there is a new Sound Therapy Programme which has been specifically developed with the aim to improve sensory processing, interhemispheric integration and cognitive functioning and it is entirely free to download and use at home. It has helped many children and adults with a wide range of learning and developmental difficulties, ranging from dyslexia, dyspraxia and attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder to sensory processing disorders and autism. It is not a cure or medical intervention, but a structured training programme that can help alleviate some of the debilitating effects that these conditions can have on speech and physical ability, daily behaviour, emotional well-being and educational or work performance.

Check out the Free Sound Therapy Home Programme from Sensory Activation Solutions. There is no catch, it's absolutely free and most importantly often effective. Find it at: http://www.uk.sascentre.com/uk_free.html.

Apr 06, 2010
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rash swim shirts
by: bridget

My son had a really hard time in preschool. But those rash guard swim shirts seem to work good for him. He also wore his swim vest many times to school. Many days he does not wear underwear or socks. Another blessing is hand me downs or clothes from the goodwill. They are already soft and comfy.

Hope that helps.

Apr 06, 2010
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What we do with my daughter for clothes sensitivity
by: DebbieKinIL

My DD is now 11 and is very clothes sensitive, especially around her waist.

Here's somethings that we do:

- identify what areas that are most sensitive, then shop for clothes that are acceptable
- shop for clothes without tags (or remove tags), wear sock inside out, wash clothes many times to stretch and soften, (I now line dry all her stuff)- stretch comfy clothes etc.
- desensitize to clothes by using habitation- my DD must wear "new" clothes 3 times for periods of 10-30 minutes before the price tags come off- If she cannot do this successfully, the clothes go back and we try again. Often my DD would cry on the first wearing- be prepared. If the clothes can be worn then it just takes time. We try to buy many items of the clothes she can wear. Yeah, I know it's hard with your DD growing.
-my DD wears a leotard for underwear- this helps- before we found out about wearing leotards- underwear was the biggest problem- we could not get them high enough to cover her entire waist- this was awful!! She cut and stretched the high tops underwear and tried to go without or just wear the only "one" pair that felt right-
- we get up really early to allow extra time for putting on clothes
- watch the weather for dramatic changes in pressure fronts- lo pressure seems to increase sensitivity
- allow your daughter to relax with a comfy article of clothing- like a loose fitting nightgown, when she is having a rough day. On tough days my DD changes out of her clothes into a night gown, when she comes home from school.
- We brush before she gets dressed and at night
- also let the pre school know about her SPD and that your DD may be late occasionally due to this.

Yes, even at age 11, my DD often has "clothes explosions" on her bad days.

I know that I can not help her, and only she has to work through these times on her own. We have been late to school only a few times, because she needed extra time to desensitize to clothes over the past 2 years.

ON very bad days, my DD has a tantrum (tries to hit me and gets physical etc) then, she calms down and works to get through it.

I let her try on several clothes until she gets the right one- again only she can work her way through it.

Any clothes thrown about (and sometimes she tries to destroy them by ripping them-s nothing comes from this btw) my DD has to put away AFTER school.

I talk to her when she is calm to try to see what can be done better the next time and to understand what she is feeling on her bad days.

I Hope that some of this helps.

Apr 05, 2010
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feeling fabric helps
by: mary

I can appreciate your situation. My 5 year old son is not nearly that sensitive, but I have noticed that when I take him to a fabric store, he wants to feel all of the yarns. It taught me something. Have you considered taking your daughter to a fabric store, (on a day when you feel strong enough for the experience:)), and together, the both of you feel several kinds of fabric? Ask her how they feel, let her hold them against her body. Then, you can purchase small amounts of the fabric for a "test drive" and let her drag them around at home. My son is never separated from a soft throw that I bought at Joann's a few years ago.

If you don't sew, it will likely be worth hiring someone to make simple items for you daughter to wear, based on her choices. Be creative, and good luck!!

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Clothing sensitivity..... please help

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Clothing sensitivity..... please help