Does my 7yr old have SPD
My son is 7 and for about 2 yrs now has been physically violent towards his sister who is two years younger. Also the last 6 months has been very abusive both verbally and physically towards me. He is fine at school, they say he just adorable but as soon as we get in the driveway at home he starts on his sister and doesn't care if he hurts her. I have tried being reasonable and calm with him but his attitude is " don't care and you can't tell me what to do". His anger is getting quite scary where he threatens to kill me and says he will kill himself if I stop him from doing what he wants like for example not play on the Xbox etc.
He also doesn't like loud noises and places, he hates going to carnivals because he says it hurts his ears, same with music, hates going into restaurants because of too many people talking.
I am feeling very overwhelmed by it all because he is such an adorable beautiful kind boy when he wants to be but when he is angry its scary. It's affecting the whole family, I have a 9 yr old with aspergers and it increases his meltdowns too. Dad has a very hard time with controlling his temper also and I thought maybe it was a reaction to a long time of my son hearing and seeing verbal arguments.
I don't know what to think...sometimes I blame dad for reacting the way he had over the years in front of the kids and other times I think I can't blame him but I just don't know. It's breaking my heart to see such a beautiful little boy become such a devil and I know deep down he doesn't want to be.
Please help with any advice.
I tried to get him into the school councilor but was told it had to go through his teacher and if she thought he needed it, only problem is he is not like that at school.
I believe he needs to see someone but then he is just adorable and I think he is just reacting for whatever reason.
So confused and its breaking my heart.