Does my 7yr old have SPD

by Fiona
(NSW )

My son is 7 and for about 2 yrs now has been physically violent towards his sister who is two years younger. Also the last 6 months has been very abusive both verbally and physically towards me. He is fine at school, they say he just adorable but as soon as we get in the driveway at home he starts on his sister and doesn't care if he hurts her. I have tried being reasonable and calm with him but his attitude is " don't care and you can't tell me what to do". His anger is getting quite scary where he threatens to kill me and says he will kill himself if I stop him from doing what he wants like for example not play on the Xbox etc.

He also doesn't like loud noises and places, he hates going to carnivals because he says it hurts his ears, same with music, hates going into restaurants because of too many people talking.

I am feeling very overwhelmed by it all because he is such an adorable beautiful kind boy when he wants to be but when he is angry its scary. It's affecting the whole family, I have a 9 yr old with aspergers and it increases his meltdowns too. Dad has a very hard time with controlling his temper also and I thought maybe it was a reaction to a long time of my son hearing and seeing verbal arguments.

I don't know what to think...sometimes I blame dad for reacting the way he had over the years in front of the kids and other times I think I can't blame him but I just don't know. It's breaking my heart to see such a beautiful little boy become such a devil and I know deep down he doesn't want to be.

Please help with any advice.

I tried to get him into the school councilor but was told it had to go through his teacher and if she thought he needed it, only problem is he is not like that at school.

I believe he needs to see someone but then he is just adorable and I think he is just reacting for whatever reason.

So confused and its breaking my heart.

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Jun 14, 2013
Angry 7 year old
by: Janice

I have this same experience with my son...he is now 8 and has been agressive towards me for two years. I try to set aside special time for just the two of us to see if is because I am not giving him enough love and support...but I have to put him in time out or give him three chances immediately because he is so unkind to me. I know that he sees my sympathy towards him, and he sees that I am weak as far as punishment goes (I have many excuses...he didn't sleep well, he had a hard day at school, he has a cold)...but the fact is the school won't tollerate his bad behavior so he doesn't do it - his teen brother and sister won't tollerate it so he doesn't do it. I feel it is I am trying to be very consistant and firm, and have everyone handle his bad behavior in the same consistant way, including school...three chances then time out for 10 minutes. If he hits then it is 20 minutes as that is very severe. I also have him on Intuniv as he is very, very nervous - chewing on shirts, OCD, etc...which helps so much (but it wears off by the end of the day).

All the best,

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