Help, my daughter has been kicked out of two daycares!

by Julie Van Bysteren
(Hood River, OR)

My 4 year old has just been asked to leave her second daycare in the past 2 months.

She has many sensory issues as well as fine and gross motor delays. Her brother, my 9 year old son was diagnosed with dyspraxia this past year and I am almost certain this is her as well. She is a very picky eater due to not liking her hands to be sticky, she has to wear socks as she can't stand the feelings on her bare feet. She becomes sensory overloaded very easily and will tantrum when this happens. She is struggling daily and it seems to be getting worse.

She has had sensory issues since birth but we were able to manage them at home. She had been going to a daycare center for a year when she began to really struggle. She began to have melt downs at her school when things would get too loud or overwhelming. If she didn't melt down she would put her chair next to her cubby and sit there refusing to interact with anyone. The school began to notice that she struggled with things that were messy and would refuse to go on certain playground equipment. Eventually they told me she was causing problems with the other kids with her tantrums and the other kids were starting to tease her.

We then moved her to a home daycare, thinking that the small setting would be better for her. But we came to realize that this provider does not understand her issues, and was trying to force her to improve her fine and gross motor issues punishing her if she was messy etc. We figured we would stick it out for a few more weeks until we could find a teenager or someone to come into our home to care for her for the summer. THen our daughter began to throw temper tantrums at her new daycare. We were told yesterday that we had to come pick her up and had 2 weeks to find another daycare.

I don't know what to do now. We live in a small rural area and I am doubtful that I will find someone who will understand her issues enough to be able to intervene before she gets to the melting point. We are thinking about me quitting my job and staying home with her, but this will be a huge challenge financially as well as heart breaking for me as I really like my job. I have had her assessed by early intervention and they found that she has many sensory dysfunctions.
We had her in OT for a time, but do not have very good insurance and cannot afford the $150 per session.

Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions?

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Mar 07, 2014
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mother from the phillipines
by: Anonymous

thank you for your comment regarding work and prayer. it is helpful to know we're not alone.

May 14, 2013
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Home
by: bralcars

Financial hardship is not easy, but if you are at all in a place to be able to stay home with your child, stay home. You are your child's best advocate, you know what they do and do not like. We know first-hand how much OT can cost, but with the internet nowadays, you can make your home sensory rich for very little money.

You will struggle financially, but it is nothing compared to the heartache you will go through as you move your child again and again, enforcing the feeling in her that's she's not good, her differences and her becoming more and more bitter and withdrawing more and more, the tantrums will increase twice-fold and as she's pushed through system after system, a few years down the line you will look back and totally regret not staying home to help her as only you as her mother can.

Get her help through your local Child and Family Services. You don't say where you're located, but every state in the US has a child help program where they come to your home for 3 yr. old and younger and you work through the local school for 3 and over years.

Praying for your family.
Blessings,
Francine

May 14, 2013
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RE: four year old daughter
by: Anonymous

Hello! I am a mother from the Philippines. My son is turning three this july and am really sad and frustrated of him being a super picky eater. Actually, he refuses all food and just sticks with peanut butter. It is really frustrating but like you I cannot afford to leave my work. I suggest you pray hard and hang in there. Leaving work is never the best solution. Just continue searching for a daycare and looking for someone to look after your daughter while you are at work. Just continue offering food. Sometimes, its really just mess because my son throws the food i give him. but even if i am super tired and feeling weak, i have no choice. I am his mother and no one would give him the kind of love and care he deserves. Good luck!

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